Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ProdigalSon74, Aug 19, 2019.

  1. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    Appreciate the advice man. My problem with some of that though is that people can be exhausting. Parties and getting stuck with groups of people just feels a lot more suffocating than being on my own or at least with one or two people.
  2. Baduser

    Baduser Fapstronaut

    I think that is part of getting used to it. I had panic attacks 10 years ago, i was inside for almost a year. Affraid to go outside, affraid of being in stores, large groups. Im a bit socially awkward with new people but being with people helped me alot.
    The best way to face this is by just doing it. I learned alot over myself and the part where you live your life controlled by fear. FEAR is False Expectations Appearing Real
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  3. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    That's very insightful.
  4. Baduser

    Baduser Fapstronaut


    I try to help people where I had struggle myself. I think you can learn the best from people who experienced the same things.
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  5. PoloMarco

    PoloMarco Fapstronaut

    I believe that the chemical imbalance in the brain is the same no matter the cause of depression (unless from physical trauma or damage to brain matter). In my case I didn't know I was depressed in my case. At the time, I actually did not attribute my depression to my porn use, and I was in the early stages of realizing how damaging porn was for me. I think there were many other reason for my depression and I have since been working to deal with all of them. Always a work in progress.

    You should definitely come clean to your doctor as to what the reasons for your depression are in your opinion. I also believe you'll want to notice that your depression has many "consequences," more consequences than origins. (Things you don't do, but would like to/Things you do and like, but are for some reason not happy with).

    In the end the reasons you may be depressed will be negligible and you'll be aware of them; because you can deal with them through your treatment, through NoFap, and through the pursuit of your own happiness.
    ProdigalSon74 likes this.
  6. I hope you are better.

    You must learn that are your best friend, the unique person with who you will stay all your live, and the unique person that can do you happy. If you are not your best friend and your internal talking is bad or cruel against you, must stop this voice and align you with what you would like to be. Ask yourself:

    Why? What things would you like change in you? Think one thing, and step by step, fight for change it. Just one.
    For example if you eat your nails, can start for it. Maybe you need one year for it. OK. But think in when finish it and see your fingers fine, you will have more force and autoconfidance for change to a better mood, and for face the world. And so on.

    I believe it's the unique way for the happiness.
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2019
  7. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    I suppose you guys are right about forcing myself to do better personally if I'm going to work my way out of this. Addiction is still kicking my butt every chance it gets. A friend of mine who's also dealing with this says he an some roommates went in on some accountability software that not only alerts each other about certain activities, but also lets each other know exactly what they're looking at. It was interesting because it forced them to talk about what each other gets into when they look at that stuff and be open. That would be nice, but it requires having people not only to pay for it; but also people who understand exactly what we're going through.
  8. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    Also, while relapse has been nonstop, I have made progress bit by bit. Talked to this one girl today and we seemed to hit it off, but its one of those passing situations where you never know if they'll want to talk to you again or its a one and done situation.
  9. Marcus Aurelius

    Marcus Aurelius Fapstronaut

    For finding friends, I would recommend pursuing a hobby or passion. When you're doing what you love, you will find other people who love doing it and that common ground will create a friendship. I didn't have friends from about the age of eight until I went to college. That's what worked for me.

    As for a romantic relationship, I haven't a clue. I'm right there with you, brother.
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  10. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    Today has been a bit of a let down. Not much going on and its been a solo day for. Not complaining, but it is a bit of a setback along with the relapse. I swear it only takes the littlest thought to set me off.
  11. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    I have a question that I've been bouncing around in my head for a while: Why is it that I seem to have to be the one to initiate relationships with people? Why do I feel like I need to be the person who asks to hang out first or to ask for their number? It all feels so one sided, you know. I understand that relationships of any kind take effort to maintain; but what happens when you're the only one picking up the phone or trying to set up a meet with someone. I feel like the point is to give what you receive so that you know that you and the other person are interested enough and get a long with each other to take time to hang out and expand your circle. To create a reciprocity between the two or more where you're not the only one starting the conversation all the time. If that's the case I feel like I'm annoying them and they are only talking when I talk to them. I'll admit I do a similar thing, but that's only because I can never tell. It almost feels like they are pitying me or conversing out of some sociological sense of politeness or necessity; not because they want to. Like sometimes you just want someone to call out to you in a crowd and make the genuine effort to walk over and talk to you. Never really happens.
  12. newtry

    newtry Fapstronaut

    Thanks God we have God! I used to feel my was such a waste, till I knew Jesus. Now I'm not sure what is my next step in my life... I have a carrer but it doesn't fill me... so, I've just decided put all my confidence in our loving God. I hope you can get the answers that you need these times!
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  13. I'm sorry if this offends you, but I'm really just trying to help. I could be wrong, but I'm just sharing my experience. I recommend giving up religion. My mom pushed it on me when I was a child but I got out of it. It leads to feelings of shame and worthlessness. There is no god controlling everything and controlling your life. You run your own life. Putting faith in a fictitious being only puts yourself down. You do not have to submit to any sort of "higher power." You control your life and you can make the most of it. If you are just in religion for social connections, I kind of get that but it doesn't sound like that's really working out. I strongly recommend giving it up entirely. It was a good thing for me.
  14. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry you feel that way, but I assure you my beliefs are far from the problem. I am not forced into my faith, I choose it. It is not some fantasy you dive into to escape from life, it is life. Plus, if you don't believe, then why are you against porn? Most people in your position look at porn as an expression of one's sexuality and is something to be proud of. Don't mean to be presumptuous, but still.
  15. I don't like porn for the negative health effects. Why do you need to believe silly stories to be against porn? If you are only against it because you fear the wrath of god or whatever then I'm not sure you are here for the right reasons. The damage to my own mental health is why I'm against porn and that's a good reason.
  16. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    Today was a good day as far as staying active. Drove myself to a whole new area and explored. A change of scenery is always good.
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  17. Address007

    Address007 Fapstronaut

    Damn that hit home for me.
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  18. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    Been doing a lot of work lately so haven't had much time to socialize with a lot of people. Gonna try to get out of that along wit the addiction.

    Also, at the risk of anyone starting any arguments, lets keep opinions about whether beliefs affect porn out of the conversation thread. We can all respect that everyone is free to think for themselves; but some of us believe and others don't and that's whatever. Please just keep any negative opinions about certain beliefs out of it so that no one starts a riot. No one wants to get in trouble with the administrators and we're all just trying to help each other out.
  19. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    This week has been pretty rough. Between relapses and work I’m pretty worn out. Worst part is I had a planned event going on and I tried to invite some friends, but none of them could make it. Kind of sucks when you run out of friends to invite.
  20. TheGambler

    TheGambler Fapstronaut

    Yep, seems like the culture is moving more and more toward individual life. Who needs friends when there's internet and smart phones? I need to go on a retreat alone like I did a few years ago.
    ProdigalSon74 likes this.

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