Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ProdigalSon74, Aug 19, 2019.

  1. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    As I get busier and life gets more complicated, I often worry what will happen when I eventually get out into the real world. Will I be doing a standard 9 to 5? Will it be more than that? Will I even have time to hang out with other people or will I end up being consumed by work and unable to have a real life. You only live once and I want to make the most of it. But I'm not sure how considering I am still burdened with this addiction.
    greenishmoon likes this.
  2. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    I lack focus and conviction in my pursuit for sobriety. I know I need to make a more conscious effort to do better, but I'm not sure how.
  3. yep brother Jordan Peterson gives good guidance
    Homelander and ProdigalSon74 like this.
  4. Baduser

    Baduser Fapstronaut

    I saw a Tedtalk about this. There is software that alerts your friends when you watch and download porn. I try to take a look at my history when im home so i can post it
    ProdigalSon74 likes this.
  5. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    Past week has been fairly solitary. Trying to get out more and get out of my comfort zone. I'd say it was working, but not much progress has been made. Gotta start somewhere I guess.
    Consencus likes this.
  6. Consencus

    Consencus Fapstronaut

    Progress is progress! Good job!
    ProdigalSon74 likes this.
  7. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    I have to admit I am getting frustrated with where I am at in life right now. I almost wish something amazing would happen that would create a more permanent and positive change, but I know life is never that easy. I want to be better, to do better, but that goal seems so far away.
    greenishmoon likes this.
  8. Homelander

    Homelander Fapstronaut

    Never wait for something amazing, because it will leave you passive.
    Instead change your life and so amazing things and events will find you. Try a new exciting hobby you can dive into with great passion.
    Go on a solo holiday or take classes learning something like playing guitar or learning Spanish.
    During these changing moments you will be truelly open and ready for events like finding the girl of your dreams.
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2019
    greenishmoon and ProdigalSon74 like this.
  9. Randy Andy

    Randy Andy Fapstronaut

    Wow what really stood out to me of all the great stuff above is "know I should tell whatever girl I decide to meet about my addiction before anything really happens" I related so much to that. I was told when I was young "you're going to want to tell everything you did sexually to the person you plan to marry" and I believed it. What I heard in that was "if I don't do a lot there won't be a lot to tell.". It really made sense to me that I would want to be honest with my life partner. And I didn't know I would only ever have one girlfriend. I just told my first girlfriend everything there was to tell at the the time. It took a long time because I was so ashamed, I was stammering for sixty percent of the time. I was using words she did not know and I think she still doesn't know them :) one of my friends who has recovered from porn addiction (not cured but free) says you have to be really sick to marry a guy like me on purpose. Meaning there's a sense in which my dumping was a bad idea. The main reason for that that I see in retrospect is that I was looking to her to fix me. It didn't work. Tried that sort of thing, just saying over and over to different people "I masturbate and look at porn" had the same effect. All these different people seemed to me like they would be the one to finally fix me, some of them even had qualifications. The ultimate case of this was a guy in another country who had three heavy hitting, compelling reasons for me to think he could tell me the secret I was looking for. He did pass on the solution but it took me a year and a half to get willing to even try. But back to the woman who would became my wife, all through six years of dating I was in the p&m+ every so often I would dump on her, trying to make another show of will power under the guise of getting honest. If course I didn't know this if I had I would have practiced humble courageous honesty. True honesty not "save me from myself" but I didn't know the difference or I would have practice d it. Now I have lots of mentors and others who are committed to living differently starting with not acting out that I am honest with instead of just trying to make myself feel better or get back in someone's favor (eg my wife).
    ProdigalSon74 likes this.
  10. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    So it's best to be honest without the mentality that telling them will lead to her fixing your?
  11. Hold it in

    Hold it in Fapstronaut

    If Jesus is your Lord and Saviour (which it looks like he is) HE has handed you everything back Satan has stolen from you when he made Adam fall.

    Remember, everything was perfect before the fall of man and we had dominion over the whole Earth.

    In the book of Daniel Chapter 10 verse 11 through 13 we find Daniel himself praying, and his prayer was delayed because a Demon was delaying it

    11 - And he said to me, “O Daniel, man greatly beloved, understand the words that I speak to you, and stand upright, for I have now been sent to you.” While he was speaking this word to me, I stood trembling.

    12 - Then he said to me, “Do not fear, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart to understand, and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard; and I have come because of your words.

    13 - But the prince of the kingdom of Persia withstood me twenty-one days; and behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left alone there with the kings of Persia.

    As believers we must deal with an adversary, but we shouldn't be dismayed or depressed ever. We have the Authority, another thing to remember is Daniel was a Character in the Old Testament. How much more power under the blood of Jesus do we have now?

    Absolute power. Do not fear, by his stripes we are healed. Tell that enemy to shut it's mouth up. Take back everything he has stolen from you, Say Out loud. In The name of Jesus MY Lord I rebuke you Satan. Give me my Stuff back! My Mind, Happiness, and everything the enemy has stolen from you. Remember, we have the Holy Spirit and he can do all things, even raise the dead.

    Be of good cheer. It's important to put that Devil in his place, I always have to. Verbalizing it out loud is important so you can activate the supernatural power the Spirit of Truth has in your life

    Good luck to you brother
    ProdigalSon74 likes this.
  12. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    These days I am trying to feel happier about my life in little ways. Trying to laugh with joy and feel more positive is what I really want to feel.
    Hold it in likes this.
  13. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    Despite setbacks, I had a great day. I was able to get out and converse with several people and build upon my relationships. Admittedly, my addiction still hit me, but inside I refuse to let it bring me down. Today was a good day and I won't let pmo make me forget it.
    Homelander likes this.
  14. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    Dealing with loneliness is never easy, especially with a porn addiction. These past few months have been pretty rough. Pretty sure the pmo has become part of a daily routine, and I know that's bad. I'm not sure how develop discipline and self control for myself because it's so easy to fall into the habit without thinking. Being mindful is harder than I thought it would be and I need to figure it out soon.
  15. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    This week has actually been pretty great. Been hanging out with and doing things with tons of new people and really making better connections. Really wishing I had figured the stuff out a lot earlier.
    Homelander and Hold it in like this.
  16. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    Been a while since I've been on here. Things haven't been getting any easier. At this point I'm just trying not to let myself become isolated from people with pmo and trying to get out more. It's difficult and I am not sure what to do
  17. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    I don’t care about PMO or porn anymore. I don’t even think about it. I am numb to it all and it seriously doesn’t interest me. I’m more interested in getting a good nights sleep and working out. Still lonely, though. That never goes away.
    ProdigalSon74 likes this.
  18. mutu

    mutu Fapstronaut

    How did you lose interest in PMO, could you share your recipe :)
    ProdigalSon74 likes this.
  19. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

    Completely stop looking or thinking about it. Do something else.
  20. ProdigalSon74

    ProdigalSon74 Fapstronaut

    Easier said then done.

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