erectile dysfunction with 23 years

I am 23 years old and struggling with erectile dysfunction.

How did it start?
I tried to have sex for the first time when i was 18 years old. I had a friendship plus at that time which lasted for half a year. I didnt really like to talk about me not being able to get an erection when being with a woman at that time. I was very capable having an erection when jerking off at home. It took a while being more confident to talk about it, even tho she was very supporting. I havent told anybody else.

I admitted to myself that i have a problem and that I need help when i was 20 years old. I visited a urologist who tested my blood and stuff and told me what i already thought: It is not a physical problem. It is psychological. She also gave me Sildenafil (Viag_a) to try to boost my confidence.

I even tried to tell a male friend all of it. He told me he didnt get an erection once as well and I should cry about it. And taking Viag_a wasnt needed. I should man up. I know he didnt mean it and he wanted to help, but he was too overwhelmed I think. We never talked about it again. I never tried to talked about ED, porn and how I feel about all of it again up to this text.

I have never been in a relationship. There are a few reasons for that, but one of them is, that I avoided being naked with women I dated. If the point was reached that we were naked together I lost a lot of confidece which I normally have. Not only in the situation itself but also going forward from that point in time, because it stayed in my mind when I was with her.

I started reading lots of stuff about erectile dysfunction and what to do about it. I came to understand how I got to the point where I was. I watched a lot of porn when I was a teenager and had an excessive porn and jerking off behaviour. After I jerked off, I felt bad about it most of the time and my nervous system connected those reactions together. On top of that I am very much into self improvement in every aspect of my life. It works great for me and I really enjoy it, but in the field of sex it had a bad result because I kept trying to get rid of my erectily dysfunction (ED) and I forced a lot of pressure on myself. I mistakenly thought porn to be sex. Therefor I thought thats how it is supposed to be.

With my research I found out that there are a lot of guys in my age struggling with ED and for a lot of them it is porn induced. I am convinced that my ED is porn induced as well. At the same time I found NoFap and started a hard reset. I broke my streak after 70 days.

After that I had sex without viag_a for the first time in my life. I was 20 at that point. It would work like every 5th time I tried to have sex, but if I did get an erection I would ejaculate very early. I am talking about less than a minute from starting intercourse.

Even tho I wasnt able to have an erection most of the time, I enjoyed my sex life much more! I started being much more confident because I learned it is not just about having a hard penis and rough sex. One can have fun without an erection! I could still pleasure her without an erection and I enjoy that as well. I was much more relaxed and living in the moment. Obviously this would not work all the time but if I got into an negative mindset I could just say so. We would take a break, cuddle and maybe try again.

I was on a good way but then Corona hit me pretty hard. I am a student and therfor I have been working from home for the last 19 months now. I started watching porn on a daily basis again. I knew it was a bad thing to do, but I was in a bad state and I felt like I could not help myself. I felt very alone throughout corona and got back into old habits... jerking off while watching porn.

One year foward. I am having a F+ for 4 months now. I started taking viag_a more regulary so that I can have an erection every once in a while. I dont tell her when I do take it. I kind of just want to feel normal every once in a while. I know this is just a bad excuse and viag_a is not a solution!

Enough is enough. I need to change something and this time for real! I will not do a pause on porn. Instead I am not a porn watcher anymore! ED and porn gave me a good challenge my entire adult life, but I will try a different way to tackle the problem now. The day will come that I lie in bed with a woman and I do not worry about an erection before or while being with her. I will just be in the moment and enjoy. And for anyone having Problems with ED: It sometimes feels like it, but you are not alone!