Escalation at its finest (Possible triggers)

Yet -

I have this same problem. I have researched the issue/problem and spent an inordinate amount of time, trying to "fix myself" and rid myself of this perversion. Here are my thoughts ...

Sissy porn is heterosexual porn, except with the "twist" being submission, humiliation, abuse, etc., with the "weapon" of choice being homosexual sex. It is a mental mind-fuck to go with your right hand. I believe that this particular porn product (and the related perversions and mental perturbations, like crossdressing) is founded upon low self-esteem and feeling unworthy of the love and attention of others. The pornographers are just marketing a product to people with this hangup. My guess is that gay men are not the target market of sissy porn. They have their own channel.

For a long time (and still at times now), I was incredibly embarrassed and ashamed about this perversion. It is literally the only secret in my life that I have ever kept from my wife of two decades. I can't explain it, I don't understand it, and it would be completely humiliating if anyone in my real world ever learned of it.

But but the truth is that we did not ask for this ... There was (and perhaps still is) something in our life experiences that makes this particular kind of pornography effective on us ... maybe it is loneliness, or isolation, or rejection, or perhaps lack of meaningful connection/relationships at formidable times in our lives, or general feelings of unworthy, not being good enough, failure.

I also believe that, on some level, this shame and self-loathing are actually feeding into the perversion itself. This kind of pornography always leads to feeling shame, feeling humiliated, feeling depression ... it is probably why we do it.

I am not a psychologist and I certainly do not have all the answers, but I believe we fight through by self acceptance, greater self esteem and self confidence, and better "real world" relationships. Someone out there, there is a pornography employee working on new tactics and algorithms to pick those scars and make them bleed. We fight them by learning to accept that those scars are just part of us.

Again, don't have all the answers and still battling through myself. Just commiserating and encouraging you to keep fighting.

 

I think you nailed it: "..it is loneliness, or isolation, or rejection, or perhaps lack of meaningful connection/relationships at formidable times in our lives, or general feelings of unworthy, not being good enough, failure."

For str8 guys, that is the issue ---period.

 

Absolutely!

 

Boom. Biggest truth bomb I've ever read.

Ive always had trouble with relationships. To the point where even though I talk freely on NoFap about the sick shit I've been into I'm embarrassed to say how little I've done with real woman. In high school I was a loser and a video game geek and though I had some other loser friends I never had the had the confidence to go after girls. Even though since graduating and moving to Israel and finding faith I have improved exponentially (in everything except relationships) my scars still remain. These scars and my inability to get into real relationships is what is fueling these fetishes. I fear that with no PMO I will still fantisize about these fetishes until I can fix my self confidence and relationship problems.

 

Hmmm I'm just going to just assume you didn't understand him correctly. He nor we are "looking for an excuse" or "justifying it", we are looking for what caused us to be attracted to this sick shit and how we can fix ourselves.

Also your premise is completely wrong. Though it does display homosexual content it is in fact made for heterosexual men! This is known fact, more commonly known in regards to she-male porn which is watched almosted exclusively by heterosexual men. There are many articles and videos on the subject.

Please try to know what your talking about before you waste your time on such a long post. Or at least try to understand what the OP was implying.

 

Ok the more I read your post the more it irritates me. Are you blind to the fact that he is not trying to "rationalize it" and "make it more palatable"? he is trying to get to the bottom of this evil. Some common sense and some decency would be nice.

 

I don't think he intended self pity. You have to understand a problem in order to solve it. Just like how a smoker needs to know the underlying reason that he feels like he needs a cigarette. If you don't get rid of the underlying reason the problem won't go away. in our case that means that we need to focus on getting out self confidence back and try to get into healthy relationships.(granted not easy at all).

Sorry if I got mad at you, I'm working a night shift at work and it's almost 7 AM and I'm tired and moody.

 

I don't understand the hypnosis element - is it pretend hypnosis or is it is something more than that?

 

@YetAnotherInternetUser you will get through this. You will heal, if you take steps in that direction. This awful addiction is not your identity. It may have twisted your mind for now but you can twist it back! Have faith bro, seek health and you will reach it. Good luck man

 

Wow tell us your secret! How did you get rid of this despicable fetish??

 

Who is that in your avatar? Is that Maimonides?

 

Why yes it is. Or more accurately it is a drawing based on a popular illustration of Maimonides, but we don't know if that is what he actually looked like.

 

Cool. I have read some of his writings. Interesting person. Some of his writings on ethics can be helpful even beyond any religious significance.

 

A bonafide genius, and one of my biggest personal role models. What in particular did you like about his ethics?

 

Crossdressing is not necessarily related to porn and not necessarily unhealthy. Psychologist Carl Jung coined the term Anima and Animus (the feminine part in man or the masculine part in woman) and pointed out that crossdressing can be a way for men to explore and integrate their anima, once the anima is integrated the crossdressing naturally fades.

The issue with porn has to do with how it over-mentalizes and over-excites through hyper-focusing on taboo... Aka what is considered "wrong" or "perverted" has a funny way of grabbing us... Yet porn also puts us into a catatonic state... We are not living life, we are frozen in a mental fantasy that never comes into fruition and thus "tricks us" into living a life of imprisonment... So, watching crossdresser porn and exploring crossdressing itself can be on very very different dimensions. Porn conditions us to see femininity in a specific way that limits us and kills creativity. The purpose of a man exploring and integrating his own anima is just the opposite.

 

His ethics was very practical and based on forming good habits. Interesting he is your role model. I wonder why you look up to him so much. Certainly a very scholarly person.

 

Yes he was a very scholarly person, but more than that I admire that he was a master of multiple different fields. His scholarly work included theology, philosophy, medicine and even astronomy. His talents however were not solely academic. He was also one of the best doctor Egypt, taking care of princes and sultans, as well as being the most powerful political figure representing Jews in Egypt. Having the ability to enter numerous different and unrelated yet all important fields and to become the best in all of them is an amazing feat.