Escalation at its finest (Possible triggers)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by YetAnotherInternetUser, Apr 8, 2017.

  1. RichardCory

    RichardCory Fapstronaut

    55
    67
    18
    A somewhat hilarious mix of supportive. commiserate, and self-righteous/judgement responses ...

    Estus, there is a pornographer out there, who has you down to an algorithm too. He knows what makes you tick because you told him (and your search engine and your ISP). Now, I do not know what your particular little perversion is, but you do and they do. I would be the last one to judge whether the stuff that you jack off to is any more "appropriate" than my own. I do not have a grade or scale for the 50 different fetishes of pornography. Since you have not used your real name, my guess is that you have a little embarrassment and shame concerning your own issues. The truth? It's just pornography. You should try throwing fewer rocks because you are just breaking your own glass windows.

    More substantively, that is why I am here in a forum for people trying to rid themselves of this problem/behavior. I have been fighting this battle for fucking years and years, perhaps even decades of time. Abstinence ("just say no") has not worked for me. I do not know why. I am a successful person in nearly every other aspect of my life. In this area of my life, I fail.

    I obviously don't know you and will never know you. And frankly, you are not the person that I want or need to talk to. Unfortunately the one person that I need to talk, I simply cannot tell because it is so humiliating, ridiculous, and shameful. I have considered (and still am considering) professional counseling, although that would be just as inexplicable ... No one in the real world would ever suspect that I struggle with this or anything else (hence the name I choose here). Also, from what I read, counseling is not very successful with this particular issue.

    So I come here. I write and respond in an effort to get to the root cause of this character flaw and destroy it, hoping to connect the dots in a way that helps lead me out of this darkness. So Estus,
    if you think I was trying to "justify" any aspect of the PMO/sissy pornography problem, you must have a reading comprehension problem. In the vernacular, you are out of your fucking mind.
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2017
  2. RichardCory

    RichardCory Fapstronaut

    55
    67
    18

    Creatus -

    I agree with your point. I am talking about crossdressing as a sexual fetish, not some genuine exploration of femininity or gender identity. It is, in fact, one of the points that I was making to the original poster here is the same here ... most crossdressers are also heterosexual.

    It has, in fact, been a very important point of progress that I have made with my own issues. This type of porn is effective because it is a psychological assault. On the top level, it plays upon the fear of homosexuality or questioning one's sexuality, something that probably resonates with every heterosexual man. On the deeper levels, it is attacking people struggling low self esteem/self confidence, people who feel unworthy of the love, admiration, and attention of others. In this context, crossdressing is exploitation and humiliation, not healthy.
     
  3. RichardCory

    RichardCory Fapstronaut

    55
    67
    18
    Estus -

    You are clearly not worth my time and attention, but my concern is that other people may read your arrogant, self-righteous, bullshit and draw meaning from it.

    Let's say you play violent video games. The fact that you are addicted to roleplaying games, even games involving violence, does not make you a psychopath. It does not mean that you are going to walk out of your basement and start killing people in the real world. It means that you mentally and emotionally get off, playing those kinds of games (or watching those kinds of movies or listening to that kind of music). You are not "gangsta" because you can recite rap lyrics. You are not a knight because you watch GOT or play dress up when no one is watching.

    So your premises -- pornography leads one to actual sex, in the real world, outside of one's marriage, and that this kind of porn leads to a life of infidelity, promiscuity, "casual sex," etc. -- is just asinine and nonsense. You have apparently been reading too many porno literotica. Pornography is not a "slippery slope" to promiscuity.

    Second, let's assume you jack off to videos of knights having sex with donkeys ... just a random guess here. So there you are, in your room with your computer, watching this pornography and masturbating. Does that constitute "bestiality"? Of course not. You need an animal for that. Is your next step to run to Craigslist and find a real donkey? Silly right. Does that make you a real knight? Again no, you are just watching something on a video, something that happens to resonate with you and your twisted little mind. Watching lesbian sex (something that I also have watched) did not make me a lesbian.

    The analysis that I have provided here comes from years of dealing with my particular perversion, which has taken a long time to discuss even anonymously. Frankly, I was surprised to find other people with the same issues.

    I also find it surprising that more than half of your own 34 posts have been on this very narrow, specific topic. Perhaps our knight doth protest too much? Please share with the class ... what is it that you are jacking off to, Estus? Those role-playing video games? Which character are you playing?
     
    petercoiled likes this.
  4. YetAnotherInternetUser

    YetAnotherInternetUser Fapstronaut

    17
    36
    13
    I have a little update to give out and i agree with you, and also i'm really thankful for all your posts you made me realize a lot of things about this perversion, addiction or whatever it is but, i have been on nofap for 12 days now yesterday was really hard i was getting horrible withdraw symptoms and i almost relapsed to the same old bs... almost, the inner me was burning and i just kept imagining how awful i would feel after that and how i'd come here and explain how i fucked up and failed, well i got my shit together and i didn't and today i also had these thoughts but the thing is they turn me off now i don't know why it was so sudden, remembering the porn i used to consume and the humiliation and all of that just turns me off it doesn't get me that high feeling " for the moment" its just meh this is not for me it doesn't feel right i am not this. This all happened in the shower a few hours ago and after i did 100 declined push ups before that, now i'm just listening to music and enjoying life no anxiety no self doubt no bad feelings and regret because i did X, Y. I consider this a victory but just a small one the war is far from over and i think i am on the right path.
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2017
    Tesslynne likes this.
  5. HippyMan

    HippyMan Fapstronaut

    28
    90
    13
    Keep it up man! We will conquer our demons and our brains will reward us for it in due time. Keep up the rebooooot!
     
  6. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest


    OMG! I can't stop laughing about the donkey sex!
     
  7. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    That is wonderful and I think your brain is rebooting from this. Yes, the war is far from over, don't get complacent but well done for winning THAT battle and hang in there!
     
  8. YetAnotherInternetUser

    YetAnotherInternetUser Fapstronaut

    17
    36
    13
    Hello again dear nofap members, i'm here again to give you an update. But 1st of all i'd like to thank everyone for their advice, support and replies, joining this community has helped me so much and i managed to do an year's worth of progress in just a month.

    I failed the 1st time at around the same time, but this time its a lot different i'm hitting a hard flat line i can say that for sure, but the urges are almost gone and resisting this time is super easy, the whole idea of watching porn just doesn't excite me. Anxiety is way down i notice a lot more now its like my field of view is wider. The flat line just came like that last Friday i was ridding the bus to my hometown and an awful feeling of depression and loneliness hit me, it was like a truck and i kept playing those sad songs yet i knew what this is, i have prepared for this. I know this is progress. The bad thing is i don't care about anything at all not about porn not about urges not about anything and that is causing some problems when it comes to socializing with people and my girlfriend. Not to mention i have quite a few final exams coming up and i might preform a lot worse than what i initially thought i would do. And i have gotten a really bad flu so i can't workout at all and i'm just stuck watching "13 Reasons Why" (Awesome show btw).

    Overall the flat line is horrible but i know its progress i know that maybe after this things would only get better. To anyone reading this, especially lurkers i encourage you to join i'm a real life example that if you try you will see results.
     

Share This Page