Escalation to Child Porn

read Your brain on Porn by Gary Wilson. good read

 

Congratulations on your courage for sharing that. I would privately contact the mods for resources in addition to the public boards. You don't have to be told that your predilection is one of the most destructive of all porn, that it ruins lives, forever, and that will get you jailed and ruined for life should you be discovered - family members, any friends you ever had, anyone who might employ you, anyone who considers a loan application or housing - forget it. It's as bad as murder, as far as society's opinion of those who support child pornography. People will applaud murderers, fall in love with them, write to them in jail. Nobody writes to people in jail for kiddie porn.

Get on top of it before that happens! Again, commending your courage.

Go for it and let us know how you go.

 

Step 1. Change your user picture, that lady looks underaged
Step 2. Put an effort on empathy, imagine you are the bloody child, it will ruin the fun, unless you are so deep that you may be in need of a rough ultimatum/wake up call.
Step 3. If step one and two don't help, I don't know mate, I'm no psychologist.

 

"read Your brain on Porn by Gary Wilson. good read"

This is like a person on fire, screaming for help, and you tell them to read a book on fires, how they start, what you can use to put them out, the history of fire extinguishers, and so on.

 

I don't know why this fetish would be different from any other in terms of recovery, but agreed with @DM10, @BoraxKarloff , and @SickSicko . Get a pro in your corner, soon, if only to be safe.

But start a normal recovery as well, that can't hurt. Stop the negative behavior, REPLACE IT with positive behaviors, start a journal, all that stuff. Begin the process.

For that pro help, research your options. I've seen a lot of people talking about bad experiences with therapists. Don't just search for shrinks in your area and pick the first option that can get you in. Find their areas of expertise, and see if you can get a recommendation from another source you can trust.

And probably do change that pic.

 

Had the same with weird fetishes that got worse everytime and rape porn, you have to fight back this addiction starting today. Always keep in mind that its not you who likes these horrible things, its the addiction in you that needs ever worsening stuff to get aroused.

 

was that actual empathy?

 

Good on you for seeking help man, it's never easy to take that first step so props for that!

So from your profile and post I see you started porn around 12? Are now 17 and have only been into this underage stuff for about 1 year? There's good news here...

Because you are young, you should have a better chance at rewiring your brain to a healthy sexuality.

And more importantly, because you only got into the underage stuff after regular porn, this means you are highly unlikely to be a 'classic' pedophile - i.e. you started being interested in women, but it was porn desensitization and novelty that is likely the source of your interest in underage girls.

Please believe me when I say, we can be 'wired' to become aroused by things that just aren't for us naturally. We literally get conditioned to it, and it could be anything. But our brains are malleable, and with time, can be greatly restored back to normal...!

The Gary Wilson Ted talk is a great start.

Specific to underage porn, there is a video and article I'll link here that I think takes a empathetic and logical approach to finding where this interest could come from. Note: This may only be useful if you have underlying issues, we're talking abuse/neglect/generally unpleasant childhood. If you only got interested in this stuff through porn escalation, this one may be irrelevant.
Pedophilia - Society & Social Change - Teal Swan

 

I see this person has not returned..."Hey, person!" We welcome you.

 

I expect he is feeling dreadful shame. But you are right mate, he is as welcome as any of us. We have all experienced porn escalation, it is just that the genre(s) can be different from one person to another. Let's hope he returns so we can support him.

 

Yeah, I would say that in this case, a CSAT therapist is definitely called for. If you don't get some help for yourself, you may just end up escalating beyond watching that stuff into actually doing something. Its fine until you act on it, my friend. Get some help for yourself before you cross that line!!

 

Get on battling that. You have a large amount of courage for coming out with this. I will not judge you for this. I trust that you already know the severity of the situation. You will be in my prayers.

 

Yes, you can't be arrested for your thoughts...yet.

 

Good for you for sharing this. Glad you are here.

Question - can't you satisfy this without supporting that industry? Like on your back, eyes closed? Plus if you get caught, your life is over. The kids' lives are already over in a sense - they will have to live with this the rest of their lives. Some will commit suicide. Some will become addicted to whatever drugs. A dear friend of mine, in response to her sexual abuse, developed a binge-eating disorder and gained over 133 pounds in two years so guys would leave her alone. (She is in therapy and on anti-psychotic drugs - this is not a victimless crime.)

Others will become pedophiles themselves, thus continuing the vicious cycle.

Not judging - just offering a point of view. I know you can't afford therapy.

 

I think you need to talk with somebody about this. Whether it's with a counselor or somebody that you trust. I don't think the normal NoFap route will help you in the long run. Because you may end up getting caught if you keep this up. I hope you've deleted all the illegal stuff and are doing everything you can to help yourself. I also recommend reading the SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION method (It's completely free to read, just search it on whatever search engine). Don't worry man, we're all struggling with this addiction and most of us have escalated to genres that don't match with our sexual orientation. We all make mistakes, some bigger than others. But that's part of being human. Make sure you're meditating and journaling and treat yourself (Without PMO) for making it this far.

If push comes to shove, you may just need to turn yourself in or go to rehab. They have treatment programs for sex offenders in prison and counselors you can talk to (Depending on what country you live in).

 

Probably very difficult to obtain such statistics but I think it would be interesting to know how many older men with a long history of porn addiction escalate to such material but had no interest in JB or CP before the porn addiction.