Hi so I’ve been addicted since I was 12. I’ve fooled myself so many times that I didn’t have a problem but every time it escalated to a new level I knew deep down something was wrong. My life continues to go into a downward spiral. Lack of motivation, depression ,stress failure I’ve been through all. After exhausting porn in my teens I started video chatting with random strangers. Normally girls would not be interested so I video chatted with guys and when it was over I always felt disgusted. As life went on I moved out from home and moved in with my gf. She is unaware of my problem and I do not want to tell her to hurt her. Eventually because I no longer live at home I started reaching out to strangers to have sexual encounters with. Each time I had no benefit and only helped the other person. I’ve had oral with two men, sex with a call girl and finally had anal sex with a guy. I hated it. I didn’t njoy it at all. It lasted 5 minutes. Afterwards I ended feeling so disgusted I ended up watching porn to get it off my mind. Why I’m I doing this? I want it to stop. My gf is so faithful and loyal and I can’t keep doing this she deserves better. I can’t tell her the truth because she will be very hurt. That’s why I want to fix it and make sure it never happens again. And then spend the rest of my life treating her the way the deserves and even more to make up for what I’ve done. I know they say truth will set u free but I want to fix this, fix me and do right by her without telling her. I will never forgive myself if I tell her and she is hurt. I just want to fix it please someone help me. I want to be a better person and stop this addiction.