Escaping from the Matrix that is porn industry.

Hi, I'm 23 years old and for the last couple years (not sure exactly as I don't actually remember when the addiction started, but it is 2 years at minimum) I'm having problems with porn addiction connected with excessive masturbation.

When I feel alone or depressed during the day, I often reach for masturbating to porn as a way of momentarily releasing the depression. Over the years it has basically become my form of procrastination. But after the process I usually feel even more depressed and I hate myself for it. I've also began to notice that I don't really act like myself anymore, in fact I don't really know who myself actually is, because I have no hobbies, interests or outlets which would make me feel fulfilled.

And my urges are not necessarily restricted to porn. As an example, Game of Thrones is one of my favourite shows not because of the great story, visual effects or the complex social environment, but because it has a lot of explicit sex scenes, which (you guessed it) lead to me masturbating while constantly replaying the scenes. Usually I am able to restrict myself on 1 session of porn/(other mature material)+masturbation a day, but for some slow days I can reach up to 4.

I also have a strong suspition that i have PIED. In the last 5 years I've tried to have sexual intercourse twice and in both ocasions failed to get my penis erect, which only made me more depressed and without the urge to seek real world relationships.

Today I've finally decided to make it stop. So I studied some materials on the topic of porn addiction, found the NoFap community and here I am, total newbie dedicated to start to know himself better and stop this filthy habit of masturbating to porn. I want to be more aware of what my body actually needs (not wants) and as the title says I want to escape from the Matrix that is the porn industry and return to (more like start exploring) the reality of meeting new people, dating and having romantic relationships.

My NoFap badge is currently set on PM (normal) mode as I'd like to eventually break through into the world of sex and relationships.

As my newbie question to the more experienced Fapstronauts, I'd like to ask how does a person go without masturbation and sex (so basically without any sexual outlet at all) for prolonged period of time. I feel like that might cause some unvoluntary ejaculation if not even physical problems caused by not using your genitalia for their purpose once in a while.

I'm looking forward for this journey from the grasp of the Matrix with all of you and wish you all good luck and strong will.

 

Thank you for the reply. It is very insightful. As I don't doubt that my willpower is going to be tested in the following weeks, I'll try to remember your words and stay strong even through the hard times.

 

Thank you very much for the reply. Same as you, I really believe that P is actually the problem. I feel like M is in a way a natural sexual release when there is no other way to do so (no sexual partner), but has to be moderated by your conscious brain and not by your urges. That said, I think for the first couple of weeks, I want to abstain from both P and M because the M would most likely make me think about P and that's how the Matrix grabs me again. So as long as I can hold on, I'll stay on PM reboot and later on I'd like to decide if the M abstinence is beneficial or not. As your signature says: "P is the enemy, O is not" and on M I'm not really decided yet but it deffinitely has to be regulated.

The video you sent explains the topic very well and I was pleased to see that it encourages making new hobbies as healthier dopamine generators, which I already started doing at day 0. I'm finally finding the time to learn the guitar and it fills me with joy to see my progress already.