Escort challenge

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by need4realchg, Nov 14, 2019.

Are you struggling with paid-sex?

  1. Yes— and I would join the challenge/group

  2. No, but I would like to join too

  3. Yes— but not interested in a challenge or a group

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. At least that's step up from getting a prostitute! You did well by rejecting an appointment.
    Next step is to wipe out porn from your life.
    Good luck
     
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  2. @INeedToGetBetter, Congratulations for the week. That's a highly valuable experience, it tastes good hehe. Good you didn't hook up and waste money. For the rest ... yeah ... progress, not perfection. Addiction is a best, a nasty one. Stay strong, grow in confidence. We can do it!
     
  3. EdricKr

    EdricKr Fapstronaut

    We used to share a joke: 'There's no such thing as "used to be Catholic". I had a similar upbringing and a similar response, including the idealization of virginity right alongside wanting to reject all those attitudes. It was a project that went on for decades. I was fortunate to attend a university known for its science program (and not much else!). We (jokingly) said we were being trained as high priests of science. I read critiques of religion from Lucretius to Seneca to Hume to Hitchens and Sam Harris.

    After almost 50 years, I can tell you it's pretty deeply wired.

    And yet. I recently noticed that I was rejecting (and not following) really good ideas simply because they were part of my religious upbringing. This was, and had been, causing me harm. "Chaste", "chastity" "purity"... any of these words would make my head explode. I became all about the porn because I was "liberated" from all that. But what, other than that, is the NoFap project about? [1]

    I began a process of reconciling with my childhood religion. Jordan Peterson's lectures on the psychological meaning of the biblical stores (YouTube) were helpful, as was the biblical scholar and translator Stephen Mitchell's "The Gospel of Jesus". The latter portrayed Jesus so vividly it brought me to tears (not an easy thing to do).

    I discovered it's not necessarily a point by point philosophical exercise. I sometimes discover that a term no longer bothers me, or doesn't bother me as much.

    I just really needed to say this. I don't know if it makes any sense or if it's useful to you. My 25 year old self probably wouldn't have been impressed. Best wishes to you in any case.

    [1] I'm not saying NoFap is religious. Only that secular NoFap language maps onto language used by my early faith community.
     
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  4. INeedToGetBetter

    INeedToGetBetter Fapstronaut

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    Found a good YouTube video to listen to. I want to be like her. To learn about sex and how it can be achieved in positive ways and without Porn and Escorts and stuff.
     
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  5. INeedToGetBetter

    INeedToGetBetter Fapstronaut

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    I know it's Christian-oriented but I still found this helpful in how intoxicating and secret and dangerous sex addiction is. I need to start showing up on here more often for accountability. Tried to hookup with someone last night. She ran off on me with 250 dollars. Kinda grateful I didn't do her but still lost a lot of money and dignity.
     
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  6. i watched this video. I appreciate you sharing it man. I sometimes think if we don’t ever get to the dark place where isolation or suicide flitters through our minds we won’t really “get woke.” It’s like the need to be social is real.

    loved this “ year of celibacy.” If I can do no sex for a year I will feel I have achieved mastery over my fears and anxiety.
     
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  7. She says that addiction is genetic, so you have to inherit the addiction genes in order to be susceptible. Given what we know about addiction, I strongly doubt that. The rest of the video, however, is informative and touching.
     
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  8. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    She has a good YT channel. I do have one thought, maybe this is a bit out of line here, does anybody else notice how when women or people in general are sexually abused as children they tend to be sex addicts?


    Anyways yes, keep fighting this guys, it will get better. I was tempted pretty hard the other day and grateful for not giving in. Just almost messed up when just watching some things on YouTube and came across a channel with more explicit content.
     
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  9. Hey, Congratulations! for staying strong, not giving in. Well done. YAY. And to the other thought ... from what I heard and read apparantly sexual abuse most often leads to addiction, sex addiction, love addicts, drugs, eating disorders, other behavioral issues, anorexic, sexually anorexic which is a term I learned about in SLAA.
    That's why healing and recovery are in a way related yet not the same, imo. I can recover from an illness yet still not be fully healed. I think we need to heal. Recovery is part of healing. Healing goes deeper.
     
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  10. Reading this.. wow you all are warriors!

    Let me share this - this happened to me only once

    I went to a massage parlor. I thought it was normal, but turned out it wasn't. I had a normal massage then at the end of it, a woman asked me if I want to have sex. I was shocked, but took her offer. I did have sex. After that, I was shaking. I enjoyed the sex, but it wasn't the best.

    Ever since then, I didn't go to any massage parlors at all. I'm single so it's really that easy just to go there and have sex, but I'm not going to do risks. It's not worth this. I prefer to find a real partner.

    So for people who say that it happened purposefully. The answer is, no it's not always true. It can happen when it's least expected. Now I go do massages only with a good reputation like Massage Envy, etc.
     
  11. welcome friend. The war is winnable but the battles are fierce. Stay strong my bro.
     
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  12. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Guys last day of March! Let’s make it another month!
     
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  13. —-i see you March and raise you April. I put some poker chips on the board to show my confidence in my bet.

    Across the table from me, my opponent, Sex addiction, stays completely still and becomes really quiet.

    Then he says: “I fold. you know you gonna win this one because it’s “corona time. But when that’s over , we will see.”
     
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  14. Yup!
     
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  15. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Oh yea, they say it’s spreading more,
    And this definitely should make us think harder with the virus. Last I say this thread had 21k views! Isn’t that something need4realchg? You brought us all here!
     
  16. “He who has been forgiven much the same loves much. “

    just trying to show love bro. I’m not sure I get a prize for being awesome at failing. I thank you guys for being bold enough to share.

    I suspect most of the people who read this thread don’t comment; but I found very few users here could relate to actual sex addiction— that’s why I started the thread. It’s huge to know someone can see my pain and can relate.
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2020
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  17. What I have clearly become conscious of I can no longer deny. I can forget, pretend ,not to know‘, fake it, whatever. But on some level I now know. That‘s when change can happen.
    I know that porn is not my main issue. I used to watch it, many times, yet it always remained an appetizer, a starter, for more, a substitute when nothing or no one else was available, a dessert. My main course is/was hooking up with playmate, cyber and/or local. I‘m definitely a sex addict, sexually compulsive in mind and matter.

    Now, I‘m finding pleasure in acting out spiritually instead ... ;) SA once stood for Sex Addict now for Spiritual Activist.
     
  18. Wow. My friend this the kind of treasure no man can steal from you. I’m envious and hope to join you.
    Thank you for sharing.

    steve Harvey says: “you can live without a brother ; a father , or a mother , but no man can live without a friend. “

    thanks
     
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  19. How‘s everyone doing?
     
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  20. Caligula

    Caligula Fapstronaut

    This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time.
     
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