Escort challenge

Hope I help motivate you to change!

 

My concern is this. When the quarantine ends, I will get sex and will ask my sex friend about it. It's just crazy on that my last sex was on February 14th. Yeah we have valentine sex, but ever since then. it has been on my mind every single day.

i'm single and I feel jealous that married men have sex with their wives and I don't. Just being honest.

honestly I just wish that we men have sex drive that only activate one time a month similar to how women have their periods one time a month. That will make my life be so much easier, instead of constantly being horny. It's just amazing on how two testicles through testosterone really dictate my life! Just feeling a bit frustrated.

I wish each one of you a strong journey through this.

 

Well done mate coming out about it is the first step. It's amazing the lengths we go to, to fed this Addiction. I'll be brutally honest man and its going to be tough to process but please do try to take this in. You obviously love this girl you just married and want a happy future without escorts and a healthy relationship with PMO or maybe you want them out of your life for good. Take action now and seek help within these forums, journaling daily,getting yourself an AP (defo do this and message each other once a day checking in), exercise for that lack of dopamine your getting from PMO + escorts, meditate and I would also suggest getting a Councillor to talk to about these issues.

My GF found out about everything and it turned our life upside down and we went through a rollacoaster of emotions the last 3 months and are still going through a lot of shit. We're trying to work on ourselves first before we try again with each other if that's what she wants down the road as she really is messed up from what I've done to her. In terms of coming out to your wife about the escorts that's the million dollar question because that in some cases can end a marriage and is quite hard to come back from mentally. It's weird with addictions like alcohol the partner of the addict just wants them to get help and is supportive and there for them but with sex addiction Its very personal for them, they question themselves whether they were good enough for you and what they didn't have that the escorts had (big tits,ass ect) and what they were doing wrong in bed ect. It rips them up inside but the thing is its 100% not personal at all, I loved my GF and everything about her and every part of her body and sex was amazing but to them its very personal and really hurts them to the core. I'm not going to tell you that you should tell your wife and seek help and hope things work out or tell you that you should keep it to yourself and seek help and kick the addiction to save the pain of the rocky roads ahead of your wife and yourself, what I can tell you is what my Gf said to me one day. She told me that she wishes she never found out about the escorts and lies, she wishes I realized what I was doing to myself and our relationship and seeked help and kept it to myself while kicking my addictions.

What we seek from porn and escorts is pure fantasy and nothing else. what we have with our partners is real intimacy. The sad thing is fantasy wins every time when your addicted which is why we need to turn our lives around and tackle the head on and put changes in place!

If you ever want to talk man hit me up!
peace!

 

Hey guys, following on from my previous post just coming clean about my relapse on Saturday. Long story short I battled with a thought and triggered me about a certain porn site/pornstar and logged on to see if that site by passed the blockers and to my suprise it did and I lost control from there on. I tried to log onto escort sites aswel but the blockers did there job for that so I watched two porn scenes and finished.

first big set back since I've joined the forum and really gave it my everything, abstained till day 12 which I'm proud of but time to get back on the horse and learn from my relapse which I've gone in dept with to my CBT counselor,AP and Ex.

Ok so I've a question for you guys and would like to hear your thoughts/advice, its in relation to my post above. Basically my Ex has had a lot of self confidence issues and body image issues and taken everything I've done personal to her which is totally understandable. She believes I had a problem with her appearance and had a problem with our sex life and thinks this is the reason I acted out with escorts. I've had numerous conversations telling her this is so far away from the truth that I love her and loved every part of her from her body to her personality and thought our sex life was great. I just don't know how else to express that this is the truth and that my addiction was about the sense of fantasy and thrill.

 

Me, personally, I would have waited some time before I told my ex, if I even were to tell her, bc some things may be best unsaid. That’s me bc I wouldn’t want to do it to early or at all. Currently I been doing great and keeping away from that lifestyle.

To make her better understand, she needs to learn that this is an addiction, and not her, she may start searching out why guys do this on her own.

 

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Wise words and so good to read, be reminded, learn, hear ... Thanks @need4realchg

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(now kammaSati ... formerly knows as Samadhi Panna ... new name, new life, new chance, hoping my past won't find and further haunt me under new name hehe)​

 

Thank you for your kind words, but, oops, no, you're confusing me with someone else! I don't have a partner in NoFap. Actually, I don't have a partner right now

Correct. What's not commonly thought of in these forums is that this is true not only for sex addiction but indeed for any type of addiction. Whether it's alcohol, heroin, whatever, the same applies. I had an alcoholic relative, and it caused much damage to all the people who were close — but he couldn't see it until he went to rehab.

I keep seeing commonality between porn addiction and other types of addiction.

 

Hey,

I'm not a primer consumer of paid sex, and i'm ok with what need4realchg.

Having a girlfriend doesn't mean you have sex every day, ohoho no.

About sex friend, I think seriously that sex friend are just 2 people afraid of feelings, but attracted each others and finaly they should become a couple. Cause when you fell sad, before to meet hooker, you text your sex friends and they can really make you day better and you have a emotional connection with her.

About the "prostitute" problem, it could come from a processus wich begin by porn, then free cam, then paid cam and finally prostitute because you need to "feel" something and you can cheat your girlfriend sith lesser remorses than cheat you girlfriend with a sex-friend. It's me story about prostitutes.

 

I agree to an extent with this... just like many alcoholics will not become drug users, or pot smokers become heroin addicts. I think porn is a gateway for sex addicts but many porn addicts do not escalate to sex addiction.

 

Not daily because he doesn’t ask, but more than 2x a week. We only have 100 cases of covid in a county of 400,000 so it’s not a huge concern for me. Maybe it should be, but I’m not.

 

Hey, I don't know honestly. But I'm feeling like a real Porn addicted guy for sur.

The first time I meet a "pro" was after a party in Paris with friends. I saw my ex-girlfriend at this party , with it was a passionate and tragic story. I friend invited me to have some reliefs with cheapy easy hirring trans-girls next to it. Hosnestly it worked. But since I go often on escort website during PMO session, and as I don't have enough money, I can go only once per month.

I think "escalation theory" doesn't need to bee a mathematical and absolute equation to be true in a certain way. In fact they have often more than just porn addiction. You encounter food habits, internet abuse, video games over-using... An addiction is rarely alone, and sex-addict ould be follow the first problem.

Moreover fetichism and the habituation effect could be clues favorising an "escalation theory".

But the most important, it's to get over it ^^

 

Hey,

i thought about it this morning, and i remind me one night in another french city. A little drink + a cute girl (but not my girl). I had to go to the restroom, drink water, take a long breath, and say to myself "Holly shit man, what are you doing, stop it right now".

And it wasn't the only one. So it could be.

I've found sexual addictions criterias on internet. I think it will be clearer in few days or weeks when my mind wont be smoked by porn.


What's about you by the way ?

 

I‘m definitely a sex addict, too. And codependent. Guess latter led to main addiction. The need to belong, be protected and connecting ...

May 1st! New month, new chance, new opportunity. With each month I am growing in strength so May I wanna stay sober 100%, zero tolerance.
A buddy said to me the other day that acting out is the last thing to happen in a relapse. I totally relate. Got to be careful when first thoughts come, not to start the mental search engine.