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Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by need4realchg, Nov 14, 2019.
Let me know. I’d join
Yea, I think your like 5 hours ahead of me I’m In Georgia baby, where the peaches need pickin’, hogs need feedin’, and cows need bring in’ round lol.
I know there is a lot of Facebook stuff on, or Zoom is a big thing.
yup, that’s how it can be, that’s why I’d try to feel them out before I met up, to see if there was any chemistry, but still I I’d end up not having a good experience.
They do it for the money. And with that, that kills the intimacy. They may do average or 5 guys a day. They could be worn out. Even if your their first one for the day or whatever your a customer. They pretty much don’t want foreplay, some may, but a lot are on drugs and their minds aren’t right. I’ve done maybe 40 escorts in my time. Last one was last year. I’ve been lied to, some asked for more money, some looked thru my clothes to take some money, some had another guy waiting outside, some were moody. It’s a lot of bull.
I’ve had a few good experiences. That seemed good. But it all boils down to the money. That’s my issue. You can find women who are dtf or to hookup. It just takes work. Or going to a different location. Changing your ways.
I’ve hooked up with 2 ladies who wasn’t an escort. And I can say it’s a completely different experience then with one.
I'll look into the zoom or skype, i'll see about setting up me as the host and see if we could do a meetup. They do do video meetings. I would post the link here or something and a time for you guys to join and you can join on your phone with the app or desktop. Pretty easy.
nobody likes being used. It’s the way God made us with free choice.
you are introverted. Ok. That doesn’t mean you are cursed.
I think a smile goes a long way.
Here is a resource you can try. It is through the Sexaholics Annoymous organization based in the US. They have phone meeting anyone can log into scheduled through out the day.
Work like you got to go out reach out, I mean don’t blatantly say just “I’m dtf and don’t want to see you again” have some chemistry. I did with who I met. I like to know someone and stuff not just bam bye.
Yes some ladies are Dtf, but most don’t just openly do it like that.
confidence! I’m still working on myself as well.
This is the part that killed me a little over a year ago. I always thought porn would be enough to get me through the droughts. Of course, the most misleading part was: I saw nothing wrong with it. That is until my wife caught me with a porn and lost her mind. Of course I said sure, i won't watch it anymore. I love my wife, always have. That's when I realized how hooked I was since I couldn't stop for a lengthy period of time. Fast forward around 10 years, I found an online escort website unintentionally, and a bad seed was planted that became an obsession. I had to do it. I justified myself because my wife had an affair with an ex in 2015. I did it, I had sex with a sex worker. Then I started getting hjs at amp . Then i started paying for webcam shows. This shit is very real. It's ironic how I never viewed porn as a problem until I was asked to stop. It's definitely an addiction that progresses. I saw my first porn when i was 11. Honestly, have been obsessed since. I definitely need lots of help from some like minded individuals. Sorry for the long post!
Anyone here even been to a SAA or SLAA meeting? I'm thinking of going to a support group but I'm not religious at all, Is this a problem? or It's fine as I think it would help me a lot opening up to people in similar situations.
Yes i have been to one before and some phone meetings. It’s a good thing, they have them at churches and stuff. When I went they welcomed me, I met with two guys for a new comer thing. The other guys told me where they have been and how long they been sober and i told them my story. It’s good to be able to open up and read from their book sexaholics anonomous. Decent program.
Your in the right place. I know me and need4realchange and probably a few others here were a little in the dumps last year. I’ve committed myself to not be looking at it or escorts. Also been reframing from porn.
I’m in a bit of a twist right now bc I’ve been on this hookup site just looking for some discreet NSA encounters. And a lot of the other members have explicit pics of themselves. I don’t obsess it. I just overlook it but just looking for a fun time. I guess I’ve been away from it long enough to just not have a want to obsess it. Sure it can come and go. Anyhow yes I am a little on the edge but have cut back from it and some of the other dating apps. They can be a vice for sure.
so yes I know I’m not all 100 in my mind being on that site but I mean I wasn’t expecting it to be like what I saw. I’ll probably delete my account here soon if nothing happens.
I have done the slaa and liked it but I’m so inconsistent right now— what finally worked was having my own therapist, meeting with some friends to share my troubles or just a bible study or debate, plus here.
I think group therapy really helps.
As for getting side action — kudos for being honest bro.
I have been good about all that but I feel like I see a beautiful women in target and it’s summer.: like I feel so charged up that I can’t do normal or act out.
trying to stay with it is hard. Sometimes Netflix triggers me. Etc.
Staying busy is really the key.
I been thinking more and more about the hookup site. I have still encountered some ladies seeking "sugar daddy's" or other terms to pretty much avoid the word escort but technically they still are doing it. It's been a bit annoying. Living with a regret is something I don't want to live with. And I'd rather wait and hold out then carry that burden. Anyhow I still need to check into the zoom and maybe we can do a video meet or whichever.
I've found that just having a few days away from looking at these sites gives me just a little bit of a clearer mind. I've been looking at these sites every single day, that it became an obsession. I actually had the urge right now, just to peek, because I have to know who's on, right? Thankfully I chose to come here and so did you. That's a win in my book.
Right now I'm working from home which is a curse for this addiction. It's going to be a tough day. Being home alone, and everyone is working. It looks like there's a noon slaa meeting. I may check it out if possible.
Yea, may be deleting my tinder, and other things I got set up. A lot of bull. Have to think about the big picture. What will this do for me? Is it worth my time? Lots of questions.
Overall, I'm thinking not. Anyhow, bla bla bla lol
I've been going to SA meetings for about the last month. SA is similar to SAA and SLAA as in they are all 12 step programs that use anonymous group meetings to help stay engaged with recovery. The biggest benefit I get out of it is with having a community to admit my thoughts and feelings with. Whenever I get an urge or feel triggered, I can simply call someone in the group to admit to it. And just saying it out loud has the affect diminishing it's control over me. So I would say the best thing about these meetings is to help with impulse control to prevent a relapse. However I still needed therapy to help me realize what the underlying traumas or influences were that lead me to act our with porn and the use of paid sex. I think combing the benefits of therapy with the supportive community of a group like SA/SLAA/SAA will go a long way on the path to recovery.
Trying this again. Ok here is the link to a zoom meeting. Use the id# and passcode to sign in. You can download the zoom app on your phone to join. I'm new to this as well but figure this is worth a shot. We only have 30 mins though as it is the free version.
GA93JDeereboy is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Topic: Nofap Zoom Meeting
Time: Jul 31, 2020 08:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)
Join Zoom Meeting
Meeting ID: 574 804 6149
Sad but true on all counts, @bold0101.
I too sad my first porn pretty young and have been hooked ever since. I've had stretches of sobriety over the years, then fallen off and found myself back where I was before. After a little while, I'm usually slightly worse off than I was before.
The only good that comes of this is it provides me motivation. Along with all the affirming reasons I have for quitting pmo (I want to be the person I'm capable of being, etc...), my experiences in the cycle noted above gives me lots of helpful negative reasons (I don't want to go any further, for instance).
And on we go. One step at a time. Trying to do the next right thing.
I was feeling and almost acting that way, but I have diminished it.
In my work there are very few woman, nonethless a woman was changed to my area and she is not very physically attractive but I still (sometimes, it is not a permamenent state) feel the desires of "hot thoughts" I feel the impulse to flirt with her (she is nice, married, with sons of my age, we had nice conversations [in nomral circumstances I wouldn't feel attracted to her]) with this woman, and with other wich is from Human Resources. And I say this because I think I've lost a little bit the common sense in the sexual stuff, I know what I should or shouldn't do (in the right moment) but my mind tricks me.
Something that has helped me is to see and treat (but I havne't reached treat) people as God's image and alikeness, as human beeings valuable for what tey are, just because they are human beeings.
You (everybody) have encouraged me to look for a therapist, I'd love and need to see one, but I think I won't find it easily. I had an amazing theraphist during my puberty, and she knows that I was addicted to PMO, but I think the time with her has ended.
Ok guys so I relapsed big time with porn after reaching 30 days, started watching solo webcam girls (am addicted to watching ugly girls do weird shit) and I decided to fuck a chinese prostitute. She was like an older 40+ woman, hardly my taste. She treated me like an emperor though, even tying my shoes wtf lol. Damn, porn is like a demon that makes you do some horrible shit...