Escort challenge

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by need4realchg, Nov 14, 2019.

Are you struggling with paid-sex?

  1. Yes— and I would join the challenge/group

  2. No, but I would like to join too

  3. Yes— but not interested in a challenge or a group

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. Thanks for asking @GA93JDeereboy, doing fine lately, no strong urges, thoughts and memories keep popping up but they do not come with a pull. Seems the worst is over ... but ... never feel too secure I know. Cause it can come and hit me out of the blue, so better be prepared. Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst hehe. What about you?
     
  2. Sorry to hear you've had a rough few weeks, been there, too. Can be pretty nagging. Glad to hear you could put on the brake in time and delete account. Well done. Stay strong.
     
    BobbyBaccala1987 likes this.
  3. BobbyBaccala1987

    BobbyBaccala1987 Fapstronaut

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    Cheers @kammaSati appreciate it mate.
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  4. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    im doing good, thoughts come and go, kinda just been bummed out on my new life situation. That’s been my main issue lately. Some days I’m feeling good, then others I feel a bit down. Good to see your doing well!
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  5. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Well good job on not pushing it to the next level. Now just need to back off of it. You know some of your triggers. So that’s good to know to stay away from. Keep strong!
     
    kammaSati and BobbyBaccala1987 like this.
  6. Semaphore

    Semaphore Fapstronaut

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    That site of the devil isn't it. I did this recently too and found that my mails weren't even being read. This has discouraged me from doing it any more.
    It struck me that I must be effing mad to think that visiting an escort with Covid being as it is was a good idea.
    A reflection of just how powerful our urges can be.
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  7. BobbyBaccala1987

    BobbyBaccala1987 Fapstronaut

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    Hey @Semaphore your not wrong. The problem with our addiction is down to how we use sites like that as a coping mechanism. The problem is that it can lead to incredibly stupid decisions been made.
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  8. Kowe

    Kowe Fapstronaut

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    Really tempted....lockdown cabin fever setting in just need some sort of a release.
     
  9. Don't. Temptations will pass and you will remain happy :)
     
    GA93JDeereboy and Semaphore like this.
  10. Semaphore

    Semaphore Fapstronaut

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    This is the Escort Challenge thread - of course you're tempted - we all are!
    Talk to us before you give in!
    Use this site as your distraction from your demons.
    Challenge the challenge from your temptations!
    Be strong - you'll cherish the feeling of overcoming the lure!
    Keep us posted
    :)
     
  11. Kowe

    Kowe Fapstronaut

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    I guess but I just want it. I want to fuck someone basically. I can't just sit here fantasizing or watching porn or going insane as the world burns down!

    Plus, I see it as a bit of an act of old school defiance. Especially cos it's actually illegal where I am now.

    I guess the thrill of it - like a bank heist. Will I get away with it?

    And I feel like there IS something in embracing the fact you at your core are just an animal that is very human.

    We spend enough of our lives being something else, something non human. Sat with our screens and our books and our social masks. I just want to let the beast out of the cage.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  12. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Depends on what you really want in yourself. Your here on this thread. But you want to quit or do you not want to quit? I am an AP if your up, you can reply back and I’ll keep you posted. It’s hard to quit an addiction. Escorts aren’t the only way bro. If your single and all, you can go looking for a girlfriend. Go from their. You get what you put into it.

    Ive had that feeling, wanting to fuck like crazy. Try working out,don’t sit around, do something you need to do to take your mind off of it. The feeling will pass.
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  13. Kowe

    Kowe Fapstronaut

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    I guess I don't really see anything wrong with it?

    If you see dating as a fair game where you just work hard enough and you'll get someone, that's one thing.

    I see it as a bit of an unfair game where certain factors I don't have (such as confidence that is projected outwardly and wealth) are seen as the most important.

    So the game is kind of rigged and I can't win so what is there left to do? Don't play the game

    See an escort!

    In a way I don't see it as too different to a drug addiction though. It's realising that happiness through conventional means will not be possible for you, for whatever reason. But you still want...SOMETHING...yes in a way a miserable substitute, but it's better than nothing and at least stops complete insanity.
     
  14. Do I understand you correctly? Paying for sex helps you to stay sane?
     
  15. Kowe

    Kowe Fapstronaut

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    You got that right.
     
  16. Yeah, better to stay sane then. Someone needs to keep the economy and industry going. :) Just hope you can control it and not fall down the rabbit hole. It almost killed me. Not the escorts lol, but the sum of it all. The addiction, sex addiction, the need for attention, approval, belonging, all the lack, that hole I tried to stuff. But lack is insatiable. And to use an analogy: You cannot drown a problem with alcohol. Why? Problems can swim. Take care and good luck on your journey. And whenever you are thinking of finding alternatives for how to stay sane, let me know.
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  17. Parzival8

    Parzival8 Fapstronaut

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    New here but wanted to add my thoughts and experience.

    It is quite liberating to hear other stories as well. We feel pretty alone in these ventures and struggles. Sure i know some others who partake in escorts but you think that they can just go on without having guilt or shame. At least we are here and trying.

    I related to the 'hunt' of it all, and then the utter shame and guilt after. Searching and messaging is a way of distracting me from other problems in life, or tough days at work. Definitely a dopamine hit and for me this escalates when I am trying to quit porn. At first I would think, well its not porn at least, but its no better and keeps you stuck. Just cant believe the amount of times I have said no more, only to be back the next month. The addiction cycle is real:

    Depression -> Anxiety -> Acting Out -> Shame -> Guilt -> Depression......
     
  18. Thanks for sharing your thoughts here with us. Yes, the amount of times I have said no more ... I know so well. It is a vicious circle. I went back and forth from online payments to paying to meet with escorts. At some point both. Then stopped one to fall back into the other, then vice versa ... When I "stopped" paying online I thought well at least I invest locally lol. And I get some physical touch ... Yeah ... all tricks of an addicted mind.
    I am so grateful I could quit this mess. Just have to be careful not to get tricked again by my brain ... Stay strong and safe.
     
    GA93JDeereboy likes this.
  19. Kowe

    Kowe Fapstronaut

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    So today was a weird day.

    I had an appointment booked (which by the way is illegal now under lockdown rules) but I was all set to go through with it.

    I am on my way there, heart thumping, my mind racing with partly the anticipation of immediate sex but also threat of possible punishment and even the thought this could ruin my entire life (what if I get publicly shamed somehow?)

    And then I get a text: she cancelled

    And honestly, I felt so damn relieved. Thank god! She saved me from myself.

    I feel like in some weird way, I'm getting off on the anticipation and the thrill and the rush of doing something 'bad' more than the actual sex?

    I actually felt somewhat satiated by the idea that I WAS going to go through with it

    But if I had cancelled, I would have beaten myself up like 'screw you, you pathetic loser! You're so pathetic you can't even get over your fears to screw escorts!'

    So in a lot of ways this was the best case scenario

    However, I have booked in an appointment with someone else on Sunday. Maybe this whole cycle will repeat again...
     
  20. Semaphore

    Semaphore Fapstronaut

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    Yes it will, for sure.
    It already is.
    You booked a fresh gig for Sunday.
    The cycle is already underway.
    That's a perfect illustration of how fuxxed up we all are - you berate yourself for not going through with the very thing you are trying to stop.
    Think about it. There are some wires crossed here.
    Can you revisit and sample the relief you felt when the last appointment was cancelled and call it up again?
    Could you forge a link between that positive sensation and the taking control of your own cancellation?
    Taking ownership of saying "NO, im NOT going to act out" is at the very heart of overcoming our addiction. Its a building block of the healing.
    Making bookings, planning the next session, putting the cash aside are all reinforcements of the cycle we trying to bust open.
    Nurturing a small positive feeling by NOT doing something that you know is part of a bad cycle begins to associate the right things with the right behaviours.
    You could try it now.
    Celebrate a clean day and another wedge of cash saved not to mention the risk of discovery, STD, supporting a dubious industry that is messing with lots of other lives too.
    PS I should add I am a recovering escort user and these thoughts work for me - I hope they work for you and others too but I recognise we all have our own ways to deal with this.
    Best wishes
    :)
     

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