Escort challenge

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by need4realchg, Nov 14, 2019.

Are you struggling with paid-sex?

  1. Yes— and I would join the challenge/group

  2. No, but I would like to join too

  3. Yes— but not interested in a challenge or a group

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. Kowe

    Kowe Fapstronaut

    130
    144
    43
    Good points man!

    I think I will cancel Sunday's appointment, though I am afraid she will blacklist me as a time waster and there aren't exactly many options in my area.

    It all comes down to this basic fear of 'I'll never have sex ever again!' that compels me to do this.
     
  2. Semaphore

    Semaphore Fapstronaut

    451
    843
    93
    there it is - the addicted brain finding an excuse for doing/not doing something. This WG will not even register your cancellation nor even your existence as long as there is a chance she can get another booking. Don't kid yourself you are anything other than a wad of tenners. Stick to that cancellation @Kowe for one day and I will stick to another week of no PMO or escort viewings.
    Deal?
     
  3. Kowe

    Kowe Fapstronaut

    130
    144
    43
    *sighs* okay, it's a deal. I kept to my cancellation.

    But the urges are still there. Especially with this lockdown appearing endless.

    The question of 'when will I get my rocks off again?' is a genuine concern.
     
    GA93JDeereboy and Semaphore like this.
  4. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

    673
    966
    93
    I can recall a similar experience.

    I had arranged through an escort service a date with a particular escort at a particular time. I arrived at the hotel for my session, called the escort agency only to find out that she was a no show.

    I could have saved my money and dignity, but I desperately asked, "Is anybody else available?" Somebody was and I had a session with a different escort.

    The worse part of my guilt following the session was that it had not registered for a second that this escort was a human being. I looked up her profile only after making the date just before entering the hotel. At that point in time, I was in such a trance that it did not matter who I was going to fuck.

    I had no standards. I went though the ordeal of booking, withdrawing the cash, and arriving at the hotel. Just a high rush to know somebody else was available; but a deeper fall knowing that I was given an opportunity to change my ways, but I failed to accept it.
     
    Semaphore likes this.
  5. kameelteen

    kameelteen Fapstronaut

    130
    59
    28
    I dont know what emacipated and stooped means. But balding and bad teeth are definetly fixable. It is going to cost you though. TBH i would spend money to fix the teeth and just rock a completly shaven head. I can understand many woman not liking bad teeth. But a bald head is just preference. Many woman love it.

    I think many people are at some point in their life very self concious and despressed. So was I from age 18 till 24. It was hard work getting out of it. It took going to the gym daily, changing my cloths, changing my hygiene, proactively looking for non escort woman online. It seemed to take ages but i felt i started getting more confidence, and then that gave me more cofidence. But still it took years before it finally clicked and i stopped being super awkward with woman. Just like something snapped in my brain and i had unlocked the future of being able to be normal and a little attractive to woman.

    Now thinking back of the depression i had back then scares me. Every night i prayed i would not wake up the next morning. But now besides my sexual behaviour problems, I'm fine. I won from depression and self hate. And so can you.

    Work on yourself, invest time in yourself. You are worth it. You are the only person that is worth your time. Even when it seems to take ages. You will get there. Every day not working progessivly to becoming a better self is a day later you will arrive at a happy you.

    I hope you will get there, you deserve it.
     
  6. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

    480
    500
    93
    Hey everyone!

    I had a mess up the other day not with an escort. So I figure since this is my main thread and I been here for a while I’d share my experience so others can learn and maybe get some feedback.




    I hadn’t been laid in maybe 6 months. I been clean and free of escorts over a year now. Anyways so I just wasn’t thinking correctly but found a date online. We kicked it off really fast. And we met up later that evening. I’ll be honest I had a blast. I got very drunk, she escalated things. But also said some weird things. Some things that threw me off a bit. But I didn’t want to lash out my opinions on things to not cause any confrontation. Anyhow mixing alcohol her escalating things like asking how sexual I am and whatnot. We were there for about 4-4.5 hours. She invited me to sit beside her. From there it went more touchy and stuff.
    Anyhow she takes me back to her place. And I unfortunately didn’t use a condom. There was something odd about the sex, she wasn’t moaning that much but she wasn’t that drunk compared to me. Anyhow she says her roommate wants me to leave because I’m loud. Anyhow I do. Next morning I ask how she is and mention about the no condom sex via text. She says she used the day after pill but it was like $55. Anyways she asks for money cause she is low on money. So I send her the money. It’s not to much. Anyways few days later I ask if I should be worried via text.

    this is when I get odd feeling.
    She asks about what I say what. She says like STD. I say yes and pregnancy.


    She says: “idk do you want to maybe just send me money to get rid of it just in case”


    That’s an odd response. She’s digging into my wallet. So now that’s the end of it.
    We definitely aren’t compatible and I’m really not in any way ready to have a kid, especially with someone I don’t know, who says some odd things.


    Yep I messed up. I pray I’ll be alright.
    Please don’t hate, I’m just sharing an experience I had.
    Thank you guys!


    Time to lay off the drinking.
     
  7. Thanks for being so open and honest @GA93JDeereboy, the drinking ... I had to stop that, too. Cause it would bring me to places that would then often lead to relapses. Seems like she tried to digg into your wallet, better end it there, yes. Better be careful and next time take things a bit slower hehe. Hope you're alright. Take care and stay strong.
     
    GA93JDeereboy likes this.
  8. Kowe

    Kowe Fapstronaut

    130
    144
    43
    I haven't had a drink in over 4 years. At least for me, quitting drinking led me to escorts as a replacement addiction. Literally nothing takes the edge off like a drink except maybe sex. Yeah exercise and meditation are fine but come on...they don't compete with drugs and sex.

    @GA93JDeereboy I've been there. The paranoia that the hangover brings on causing horrible imaginings of all kinds.

    Probably nothing will happen but I suppose there isn't really such a thing as casual sex. The stakes are pretty high one way or another.

    You also reminded me of another reason why I got into escorts: because I found it very hard to hook up without alcohol. It was almost easy with drinking involved as long as you somewhat liked the girl (and even if you didn't, drinking would change that). I can't handle all that tedious small talk and sitting around in restaurants and whatever sober...just go straight to the main event!

    It's been over a month since my last punt, though the cogs in my head are spinning looking for the next opportunity.

    I find myself tortured by thoughts of my ex-girlfriend and I almost want to fuck escorts to get revenge on my own imagination of her fucking new boyfriends. Yes, this is how I think.
    The last minute cancellation from last week sent me an angry message telling me to lockdown after I enquired about her.

    There aren't too many options for me around here, which is I guess a good thing.
     
  9. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

    480
    500
    93

    Hey bud. Yep the alcohol sure had a lot of bad effects. You need some help bud.
    Some of the things I appreciate you writing but I think there’s a girl for everyone. Don’t get all jealous about your ex. Gotta move on, find another girl. I was watching that thread 100 cold approaches. Maybe give that a shot? That guy seems to be gaining confidence. Or maybe expand your social circle and find someone that way? A friend may know single lady or something?
    But keep writing your struggles, we’re here to help, stay strong, make it thru this week. Maybe use that money on something better like charity or buy yourself some clothes idk? Maybe get on with SSA, or some other groups or men’s groups or whatever. There’s something.


    The high I got when seeing escorts was
    the searching, finding one who would sound interested in me and not just fuck and bye although bro that doesn’t really happen. Last lady I remember meeting her. She was nice and kind and all. Probably my favorite type bc she wasn’t all picky about the money. I just set it down she didn’t count it, just easy going. But it’s still odd. It wasn’t natural. Couldn’t kiss, couldn’t get affection. That’s the deal breaker.


    It’s just not good, not good for the addict, maybe the handicapped but definitely not me. I got to get out my shell, find someone I can relate with, talk about anything and be able to express myself openly. Be a team.
    Anyhow night, good luck!
     
  10. Kowe

    Kowe Fapstronaut

    130
    144
    43
    Thanks man. I need to make some changes for sure. I'm just checked out of life right now, reflecting on my past like a dying man. Only thing I look forward to is the empty thrill of either drugs or sex with an escort.
     
  11. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

    480
    500
    93

    You’ll be ok, I’m sure there’s some ladies out there for you.They out there bro, keep tough, escorts are my favorite drug as well. It’s just that they are people, it’s odd I know cause it’s like you want that body, and they want that money and it’s like a mutual deal but I’ve had a lot of sadness from it. Let’s rewire your brain. Get back to normal. Or give it a fair chance? You have my support.

    I been thinking a lot about my last mess up last week. Gosh it bothers me. If anyone prays please say one for me. I would appreciate it and I’ll pray for y’all as well!
     
  12. Parzival8

    Parzival8 Fapstronaut

    10
    20
    3
    The alcohol struggle is real. I have been exploring quitting and cutting back and my best streaks are in January where I wont drink the whole month.

    Overall I am drinking way less than a couple years ago, but cant fully kick it.

    1) Quit drinking, focus on this bad habit --> more sex addiction habits filling the void.
    2) Drink, leads to bad decisions, feel shit the next day --> PMO to feel better and get that dopamine up.

    Tough. I am trying to slowly cut down on all bad habits (drinking, porn, pot) over time, rather than cold turkey all at once, or cold turkey for one that leads me to binge on another. Hoping at one point to not have the habits at all, or very little that it doesnt mess with my life.
     
  13. BobbyBaccala1987

    BobbyBaccala1987 Fapstronaut

    281
    283
    63
    Hey all

    Just checking in as haven’t been in here for a while.

    There has been some interesting posts and lots of very similar characteristics in all of us.

    Triggers mean we try to get quick fixes of dopamine and the easiest way to an IRL high is E. Its real, but it’s ultimately not. It’s a soulless experience on the whole. For me, I never went to see an escort for sex, it was about living out my kinks and fantasies and any E that would oblige or fake some sort of interest would get me high very quickly. But nearly all of my experiences left me drained mentally and the sense of guilt and shame over whelming.

    Learn and understand what you’re triggers are and work on them, that’s the most important thing. Do other things that will you live a healthier lifestyle. Work out, join some groups or sports teams. Change up. It’s important. We weren’t born like this so we can turn the tide.
     
  14. Semaphore

    Semaphore Fapstronaut

    451
    843
    93
    Just re-reading this thread I wanna put on record that I'm so proud that you did this @Kowe - I don't under-estimate how difficult it was to cancel a booking that your addicted brain wants so badly.
    People, what we have witnessed here is a small miracle. Right before our eyes you have created one small step towards recovery, you changed your behaviour DESPITE the addiction telling you to act otherwise. Every single member of this thread, every member of this site (and there are many, from all over the world) is trying to do what you just did.
    Bathe in that glory, share your pride, remember the positive reinforcement and use it again and again to beat back the enemy.
    Well done sir.
    PS we made our deal on the 6th Feb and yes, I've stuck to my side too.
    :)
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2021
  15. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

    480
    500
    93
    I am not doing well

    guys I don’t wanna say what

    but I fucked up, and I feel bad

    because some of you look up to me.

    The trigger was probably the holiday yesterday and weather was very bad and
    you can’t do much. I just don’t get it.

    Im sorry to everyone and to you Lord.
     
  16. BobbyBaccala1987

    BobbyBaccala1987 Fapstronaut

    281
    283
    63
    We’re all In this together mate. We might fall but we will all rise together.

    chin up
     
  17. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

    480
    500
    93



    Thankyou man!
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  18. Hey buddy, sorry to hear you are not doing well. Don't worry about how we could see you now. A relapse doesn't diminish your worth nor your effort. It's part of the process. As long as you get back up and keep going. Never give up. We can leave it all behind, yeah. Stay strong, get well, stay safe.
     
  19. Kowe

    Kowe Fapstronaut

    130
    144
    43
    Was tempted as hell today. I ended up messaging the worker who cancelled on me last time. Turns out she was working. I walked up to her house and the only thing that stopped me pulling the trigger was I saw a guy outside the neighbouring house on his smart phone. It was enough to put me off/make me afraid of being caught out.

    But I need it guys. I wish I could say I won't be back etc...

    So I think sometime this week I'll make a booking.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2021
    need4realchg likes this.
  20. Kowe

    Kowe Fapstronaut

    130
    144
    43
    Thanks man. But I don't think I can make it through this week. I just need the pleasure of the flesh damn it.
     
    need4realchg likes this.

Share This Page