Escort challenge

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by need4realchg, Nov 14, 2019.

Are you struggling with paid-sex?

  1. Yes— and I would join the challenge/group

  2. No, but I would like to join too

  3. Yes— but not interested in a challenge or a group

Results are only viewable after voting.
  1. ElendilThePrince

    ElendilThePrince Fapstronaut

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    So good to see everybody is on the road here, even when we feel we it's hard and we would rather give up. I respect each and every one of you for being here and fighting the good fight.

    The past 9 days has been amazing for me: the classic NoFap success story: testosterone is up in the sky, workouts bringing serious results, shiny eyes etc. Porn and escort rarely pops into my mind.
    Sometimes it is easier if i imagine the addiction as a person: currently it's lurking in the background... i can feel sometimes whispering to me. It is waiting for me to be depressed, tired or stressed enough to put its greasy fingers on my shoulders and say: "Hey im here for you. Call that number, i know you want to do it. Can you feel the rush just thinking about it?"
    I have to be careful. I have to be aware. I can't always be up in the sky. Of course now i do everything just to be balanced, but i have to be prepared when i won't be. I'm preparing for harder days now. I know that the pump of the first 10 days quickly fades. This has to be sustainable. I decided im going to the local SAA meeting this saturday. Hopefully i can gather the courage to do that.

    Recently i'm trying out the "Red X" techinque: whenever something porn or escort related pops into my mind i spraypaint a big, red X on it in my imagination while sirens go off in the backgound. It helps a lot to stay focused and snaps me back to reality before i give myself a chance to wander off.
     
  2. ElendilThePrince

    ElendilThePrince Fapstronaut

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    We support you, man. Write it out here or even in private. We're here for you.
     
    Samadhi Pañña likes this.
  3. WilBil99

    WilBil99 Fapstronaut

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    You’ve got this brother!
     
    Samadhi Pañña likes this.
  4. WilBil99

    WilBil99 Fapstronaut

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    Glad you can find a local SAA meeting! Let us know how it goes. I’ve tried to call in to a few from numbers on their website but there never seems to be a meeting as hold music has played up to an hour. Good luck!
     
    Samadhi Pañña likes this.
  5. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Also keep that momentum you have going!!!
    Don’t let it stop, you got this!
     
  6. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    You got to do it at the right times they do it. It does work, and the session lasted an hour. they have it posted
    Try this link:
    https://www.sa.org/docs/phnflyer.pdf

    I did one of the nightly reflections
     
    WilBil99 likes this.
  7. WilBil99

    WilBil99 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks very much for this @GA93JDeereboy ! Very helpful, look forward to using. I’ll keep you all posted.
     
    GA93JDeereboy likes this.
  8. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

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    Both great ideas.
     
  9. ElendilThePrince

    ElendilThePrince Fapstronaut

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    Today is a pretty hard day, i barely keep it together, boys :( I almost called my favorite girl but instead i decided to check in here. How you guys doing?
     
  10. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    I’m done with it all! not going back again! been a month clean, doing way better,
    SA phone meetings and accountability partners
    Help me! Also been going out and working on meeting someone and asking out a few
    girls, building my confidence up!

    good job! Escorts don’t compare to being with someone who wants to be with you!
     
    WilBil99 and need4realchg like this.
  11. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    If they did they wouldn’t ask for money or expect it when you were to be with them!

    To me it is why I’ve been awkward. I felt awkward on how to pay someone money for something like that. What am I allowed to do? Asking for that shit is so low on yourself. How much? That’s so much bullsh****t
    Someone who appreciates you, who cares, respects you that’s what you need guys.
    And do the same for her!
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  12. Brohime

    Brohime Fapstronaut

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    I'm sitting at my desk right now wondering whether i go fuck my go to escort or go into the washroom and jerk it. I'm feeling it today too.
     
  13. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Me three.

    At this point I’m doing damage control. Yuck.
     
  14. Brohime

    Brohime Fapstronaut

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    You went to one?
     
    FX-05 likes this.
  15. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Nope. I went to many but went through with two.
     
  16. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    Any good therapist agrees with what you've just said. Addiction is not based on the addiction itself, which is why one person will become instantly addicted to heroin, while another will say, "That's not for me. I'm not doing it again." Porn addiction, masturbation addiction, sex addiction, prostitute addiction, camsex addiction — they're just the same in that regard.

    I would add that a lack of connection usually (or always, according to some researchers) underlies this, which in turn is a symptom of a yet-further underlying problem. It's like an onion, with multiple layers. That's why I always recommend therapy for people with addictions — and that certainly includes me! My personal growth through therapy has been life-changing, multiple times over.

    I'm intrigued by this thread, not because I use paid sex (I don't), but because a friend of mine has recently become terribly disillusioned with relationships. It's bizarre: he used to be very successful with women, having polyamorous (consensual) relationships, but then got involved in a long-term exclusive relationship. He doesn't like it, but instead of doing the right thing and ending it, he has started to use massages "with a happy ending."

    He justifies this by saying that it's not prostitution; he just gets a full massage that finishes by massaging the last part of your body. Hmm. A bit of self-deception there!

    Anyway, I'm enjoying reading all of your responses, because it gives me some insight as to what thought processes are going on.

    Good luck to every one of you in kicking this addiction!
     
  17. GA93JDeereboy

    GA93JDeereboy Fapstronaut

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    Well, it's gone quiet again, wanted to say hi to everyone, y'all, I had some sad thoughts today, depression, and that probably was a trigger to go back.
    Either way, I won't be. We almost made it through January guys! If you fell, don't be hard on yourself. That's why I'm here!

    Guy's i've been thinking alot, idk if anyone here has followed me for a while but i just was wondering, what is the difference between like and love?

    Thanks
     
  18. Samadhi Pañña

    Samadhi Pañña Fapstronaut

    Hi @GA93JDeereboy, hi all. Doing fine here. Haven't gone back, haven't looked at profiles as looking at profiles is now for me already acting out. Keep an eye on my thoughts cause that's where the dirty stuff starts preparing for action. Keep the mind clean, take the weed out, let clarity take over, honesty. Recovery is a process not perfection they say. Love and like? Hm ... I like technology cause it allows me to connect to you, connect to like minded recoverends and that I love. Maybe like is on the skin, love is under the skin. Commitment, engagement come more easily when love is involved, love is to know the universe is good. I wish you all a great day and stay strong.
     
  19. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    Well, that's a huge philosophical question! I can't claim to know the answer, but I know that I like some friends, and love others. I've liked some girlfriends, and loved others.

    I guess, if you ask yourself, "What difference will it make to me if this person dies?", that might tell you whether it's like or love!
     
  20. Porterhouse

    Porterhouse Fapstronaut

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    Great question that involves a deep look into ones self. I feel that “liking” is a momentary thing. I like food or coffee, mainly because they serve a purpose but also flavor. I feel that “love” on the other hand has no time restraints and that one is able to find joy in situations that may not be enjoyable because of their love for someone or something. For example, I like the power and feeling I get while visiting an AMP, but immediately hate the feeling after O. There is no joy to be had whatsoever. An example of love I am still learning is loving myself. As a male, this has been a difficult concept because I was always taught to feel no emotions pretty much other than anger. So when I would visit one of these places I would essentially just become angry and hate myself for being weak and worthless. However, after a couple years of counseling I do not play the shame game or hate myself after a set back. I had about 40 days of sobriety before going to an AMP the other day. I was sad for a moment, but almost immediately picked myself up and started the battle again. In the past I have used relapsing as an opportunity to go all out for the rest of the day or even week before trying again. I think learning the traumas behind why I have struggled with this has given me understanding which has allowed me to start loving myself. All that to say, when I do relapse I do not find it enjoyable, but I am able to find joy in knowing that this action does not define who I am and that I genuinely love who I actually am.
     

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