Escort gives her take on sex work and human connection

For discussion about modern politics, politicians, and political and social trends and policies

  1. Origin32

    Origin32 Fapstronaut

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    Hello -

    I thought I'd share this video with everyone. I'd be curious as to what those on this forum, who are trying to give up escorts, think of her analysis on why men reach out to people like her. Do you believe she justifies the use of escorts? Do you think she is wrong?

    I agree with a lot of what she says, while also disagreeing with some of it. During my four year journey I have visited a lot of escorts who I believed were trapped in the work who were having a hard time getting out - leaving a lot of feelings of guilt. Listening to her actually made me feel better about seeing escorts in the past, because she saw my intentions were not out of selfishness, but out of desperation to escape the pain of loneliness.

    Even though this woman says doing what she does is hard she still believes she is doing a ton of good by creating the ability for men to be able to satisfy their needs for physical and psychological connection. I know that is why I started seeing escorts.



    Let me know what you think.
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2019
  2. AngelofDarkness

    AngelofDarkness Fapstronaut

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    So basically she is saying that escorts can act as therapists because they will listen to men's problems and worries? Then why not actually become a therapist or counselor if one cares about helping people professionally by being sympathetic to their problems? Why sell one's body in order to achieve that? It's an illusion that offering one's body like a piece of meat to get physical satisfaction from results in any sort of emotional connection. Buying sex is not buying love or connection or friendship. It's buying a service to satisfy a physical need like going to a restaurant to buy a meal. It won't fix feelings of loneliness and need for intimacy.
     
  3. Origin32

    Origin32 Fapstronaut

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    I believe what she said, that resonated the most outside of what you have pointed out, is the innate craving men have for physical connection as well. But, it's not just about the physical - it's the psychological. She points out that the average sexual encounter lasts five minutes. For a client that pays for an hour, what else do they fill the time with? Just talking to each other without fear of judgment.

    I will agree with you that using escorts leaves you unsatisfied, subsequently leading to more and more use, leaving you more susceptible to negative ramifications. Escorts are no substitute for love, but does every man have access to love from a woman? If not, should they be completely neglected of this basic human need?

    She used the example, in the very beginning, of the message she received from her client, thanking her for providing what he could never get access to, because he didn't meet the necessary qualifications to access a woman's affection. This person who thanked her doesn't sound like some evil scoundrel just looking to abuse women; rather he is just a normal person looking to satiate a human need we all, as men, so desperately seek-out.

    I know there are people here that have went decades without any form of physical interaction with a woman, and I can bet they have suffered a ton. I know for my particular case, after having access to physical touch from a woman for eight years, and then being cut of completely for two years after the break-up, it was almost like fighting an addiction. It's not only this battle men fight, but also the unwantedness and uselessness they feel when they are overlooked and deemed undesirable by our female counterparts.

    As originally stated, I don't agree with everything she said, but she makes some great points due to her experience. She also isn't the trafficked sex worker some of us have visions of, which makes us feel guilty after an escorts services. I am still on my journey overcoming escort use, but this is a good example that demonstrates to people who have went down this route that they aren't bad people, and there is no reason to be overly critical of themselves.
     
    Last edited: May 7, 2019
  4. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

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    Well, she is right. She gives a jump start to the men that are trapped...
     
    Origin32 likes this.
  5. Sawako Kuronuma

    Sawako Kuronuma Fapstronaut

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    If a person wants a connection or relationship they have to find someone and work at it, and if they're not finding anybody they need to step up their bloody game and change something, because using an escort isn't practical, rational or any type of solution at all. As you said it's an illusion. If I were the helping type and if I had the smarts I would get into psychology, to help others cope and actually give them proper tools to deal with their frustration and the problems they're in.
     
  6. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    as a person who had slept with escorts: i regret doing that, her video dosent change my regret.
    why?
    • if i was a father i woudn't want my daughter to grow up and become a sex worker. (if you would support your kid to become like that you dont love them.)
    • i wouldn't want a sex worker as a girlfriend, if i support that way of life then i dont realy love the person.
    • i woudn't want to live near a brothel, or be friend with escorts, so isn't it hypocrisy that i use them?
    • all of those that i met, told me about violent and vicious customers who they had to suffer.
    • all of those i met had very low self esteem and hated their bodies even though they looked gorgeous.. so i think its because they look at themselves as something ugly because of the way of life they chose and regret.
    • if you would google it, you would find that sex work is the most dangerous and lethal job in the world.
     
  7. AngelofDarkness

    AngelofDarkness Fapstronaut

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    That physical connection is still the same as my physical connection to a slice of pizza. My natural instinct for survival makes me want to eat and connect with that slice of pizza just as it makes a man want to spread his genes and connect with a healthy female body rather than connecting with the person as a person. But I never said there is anything wrong with that as long as there is mutual consent, though I find it at least morally questionable to use another human being like an object and to provide one's body to be used like an object without any regard for personality. I would think that it leaves most people feeling empty, even if in the moment of physical satisfaction it might feel good. I would also still argue that being able to use an escort as a shoulder to cry on is not the same as talking to a person that genuinely cares about me and my feelings and isn't just temporarily pretending to care because they get paid for it. That's why that "psychological connection" is an illusion. But I have no actual experience with what it's like so this is just my opinion.
     
  8. She's not doing anyone any good. Paying a hooker for sex is a cheap substitution for a connection that will only leave a man feeling like more of a disconnected looser in the end. A man who can't connect needs to work on his issues as opposed to picking up an expensive, dangerous and unhealthy crutch that will perpetuate his social problems and get him robbed or dying from a disease. This chick is just taking advantage of these guys for financial gain, degrading herself and now shes trying to bullshit everyone into thinking shes some kind of public servant.
     
  9. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    We can summarize connection into three types/categories: 1. Intrapersonal or with ourselves, 2. interpersonal or with one other individual, including sexual relationships, and 3. group/community.

    The problem I find with any service that is only limited to an encounter is it is likely disconnected from the group context, and it is questionable even half way decent therapists always prompt one to dig deeper intrapersonally, or how long it takes to get around to that. Furthermore the business model being paid by the hour is not only limited in terms of the potential of building these two other types of social connection, but there is also no continuity in time with the escort unless one becomes a regular. And how invested would they be in remembering their clients story?

    In spite of a greater degree of technologically mediated connection, I think actual group social connection had degraded. This means there is no context (as is the case with online connection, except maybe the context an algorithm imposes) and I think that has to be addressed if the other two are going to be developed.
     
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  10. Origin32

    Origin32 Fapstronaut

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    This is a topic that I could write a lengthy essay on, which I believe would be quite thought provoking to say the least. My thesis would be that the techno-capitalist society we live in today makes meaningful social capital dearth, leaving a great deal of people unable to access connections number two and three you referenced above.

    There a few variables that come to mind for me that really need to be expounded on with further thought, but with this synthesis of technology and economics, all aspects of social connection constantly seems to revolve around markets (economical side) and marketing (technological side) - even basic relationships and community that ensure our survival revolve around these institutions.
     
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  11. RequestDenied

    RequestDenied Fapstronaut

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    There's some other ted talk floating around where some female model "exposes" the fact that she's granted privilege in society because she's beautiful. Gasp! Society bends over backwards for good looking women. Fuckouttahere!

    I rant simply to say Ted Talks have ultimately become pseudo-babble trash. The infamous Amy Cuddy stuff on power poses turned out to be junk but in society we still take it as gospel.

    Now, we're applauding hookers. And discovering that - oh my gawd! - people need intimacy. What a novel breakthrough lol.

    If anything, this Ted Talk - and its glorification of the bottom rung of society - proves we are at a tipping point in society. Peak collapse is coming yall

    lol
     
  12. Origin32

    Origin32 Fapstronaut

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    I've seen that one a while ago lol.
     
  13. I regret to inform you they've always been that. Well perhaps back in the 00's when actual scientists came in and talked about actual ideas they weren't.
     
  14. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Good for her for knowing her stats. Good for her for expressing the unique perspective on sex work. She was impressed she got the applause though.
    Couldn't watch the whole thing though maybe my need to continue my streak had something to do with that . :)
     
  15. I run with scissors

    I run with scissors Fapstronaut

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    You need a hug dawg
     
  16. RequestDenied

    RequestDenied Fapstronaut

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    Homie now that you mention it...I do.

    And a smooch while you're at it ;-)
     
  17. captainteemo

    captainteemo Fapstronaut

    I completely agree with you!
     
  18. No hate my friend, but your comment should be asked as a sincere question, a genuine desire to understand, but actually your question is cynical and just framing your opinion by ridiculing the rationale. The point of the video is answering that essential societal prejudice, her raison d'etre, so to ask it after the fact means you reflexively responded instead of contemplating an insiders point of view.
     
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  19. AngelofDarkness

    AngelofDarkness Fapstronaut

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    I am not sure if I understood your criticism. I am indeed 'contemplating an insider's point of view' by expressing my opinion, since I can only contemplate an insider point of view from my own subjective perspective, which is by definition my opinion, which I phrased as rhetorical questions, and I don't see what is cynical and ridiculing about doing that. It is my opinion that her claim of sex workers actually doing valuable, humanitarian work by offering lonely, sad men sympathy and human connection is an illusion. It is my opinion that someone who wants to genuinely help people will become a therapist/counselor or a doctor and not offer a service that requires becoming a sexual object in exchange for money. According to my opinion. That is all. If you have a problem with me having done that in the form of rhetorical questions, then I am sorry if I offended you or anyone else.
     
    captainteemo likes this.
  20. Your not an insider darling, unless your the sex worker in the video.
     

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