Escort problem

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Origin32, Apr 22, 2019.

  1. Origin32

    Origin32 Fapstronaut

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    I've seen a mix of high end and low end escorts. Like I said, when I began using escorts I started off with Backpage's. The first robbery story was within the first year I started using escorts. Every other subsequent year you learn more and more with experience of what to look for. I can go through a listing now and tell you which ads are fake and which ones are not.

    From Backpage's, that lead me to a host of other listings, including high end escorts that you have to pay $500 to see for 30 mins. Tbh, I visited some very beautiful women from Backpage's when it was still around. It was a mixed bag though - sometimes you'd hit, other times you'd miss.
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2019
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  2. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    backpage is something we have in the US, so are you getting robbed in the US?

    Might sound really out there, but dude, I would say: you need a vacation. Tickets to cancun from just about anywhere is less than 200. you can stay in an airbnb and have 3 escorts a day for what you are paying. cheapest that I have found in the mid-range is 600 pesos (that's about 40 bucks) and you can shop till you drop. LOL. you can stay at a hostel to save even more money and shag a girl every 4 hours.

    I have gone the extreme, I have rationalized that getting a hot girlfriend is cheaper than escorts, and I have made an escort a girlfriend. really it's the same thing.

    I think the shark is right too, calculated risk is better than all risk.
    You know danger is not a deterrent, I have been in places that are super dangerous and still gone to the brothels. I have decided, I could die in some of the places I visit, so best not to go there. or if I have to go, I just stay 24 hours.
     
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  3. Idnamss

    Idnamss Fapstronaut

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  4. Idnamss

    Idnamss Fapstronaut

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    Hey I Know the feeling...I Actually When Into an escorts house and at the last moment i said i didnt want to do it I tried to take my money and a guy outta no where pulled a Gun on me thank goodness iam still alive.Hey I've Got conversation Going on too that kinda goes in the same direction as yours iam new to the site please head over that way and comment on it please.
     
  5. Pedro.lives

    Pedro.lives Fapstronaut

    I would of went back to the house and lit it on fire. Then watched everyone run out on fire and laugh. No keyboard warrior talk here either, fuck those clowns.

    I also I had a similar issue with seeing escorts but that’s when I used to do drink and drug use. I also felt for a long time it was healthier to fuck escorts instead of watching porn. Fighting with girlfriend? No problem call en escort. I even made a few fuck me for free, and they became my friends. How fucked up is that?

    Once I got sober slowly these things came to a halt with me, I realized you need to be truly happy in your own skin and not need anyone. Plus that feeling of shit when your done, when you feel like a trick; I couldn’t do that shit no more. Told myself that im a young good looking financially secure dude; there’s no need for that. If I want it go talk to girls and that I love myself.

    It all comes down to one thing, LOVE YOURSELF! Read self help books, visit a 12 step program. Check yourself into sex addiction anonymous. Feel good, take a shower, buy some new clothes.. Finance a car! You spend what easy 1k a month on hookers, treat yourself! (Only after 6 month milestone you don’t want double expenses lol) Back to what I was saying, LOVE YOURSELF!
     
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  6. Idnamss

    Idnamss Fapstronaut

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    I've got a conversation going on and iam going to be real
    about.It u don't have to say anything I just want to get it off my chest I'll be doing it around 6:30 pm it 5:30 rite now where I'm at
     
  7. dreamer81

    dreamer81 Fapstronaut

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    I am new to this board..so excuse my naive question..but would seeing an escort be better than masturbation to porn?
    Granted, there will be no real connection, nor genuine intimacy... but at least you would have an O with a real woman with flesh and blood..
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2019
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  8. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    Hey bud welcome!

    I think the basic answer is you are creating a fake relationship with a real person instead of a fake relationship with an image.

    P allows us to escape via sex and control over images. Escorts allow the same thing but with flesh and blood.

    Some view it as even worse instead of better. I started thinking I would attack pmo first then the escort problem later, some users have convinced me that escorts lead back to pmo or vice versa.

    I guess I’m still chewing on it. I think it’s preferable to have a real relationship than to use a person instead of a computer screen.

    What does your conscience tell you?
     
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  9. Lot Yanisin

    Lot Yanisin Fapstronaut

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    How different is the "escort soliciting" you... versus the "trying to fit in with the crowd" you?
     
  10. Origin32

    Origin32 Fapstronaut

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    I don't try to fit in with the crowd; I spend about 99% of my time by myself - hence why I "solicit escorts".

    Care to elaborate more on where this question was getting at?
     
  11. Lot Yanisin

    Lot Yanisin Fapstronaut

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    To understand a bit more of the ying vs. yang.
    It can be a variety of things.... from feeling less judged by others...
    Feeling more accepted by one group over another... maybe that someone in our circle
    has some kind of authority/power and it hinders us from "acting out"...

    but with another circle of people... mask off. Relief. Kinda like when you undo your belt after Thanksgiving to give your belly some breathing room.
    That *ahhhhh* type feeling.

    It's an INFJ thing not a "let me blast some dude on NoFap" thing.

    I've kept my relationship status away from people...
    where I live... my age...if I have kids... all that..

    Why? I like being private/anonymous... So if I happen to "let my hair down, when normally the way I want to would be reprimanded"... I'm OK.
    And yeah... I've thought a couple times just this week while driving through certain parts of town "so frustrated.. NoFap is killing me... Man, if I can only give one of these street walkers some money...go somewhere private and (insert trigger words)"

    I see some of myself in this. Hence the question and where my line of thought was at.
     
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  12. Origin32

    Origin32 Fapstronaut

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    Gotcha

    When I am out with "friends" I'm very reserved - I'm in my thirties, and women who date my friends ask them why I am so quiet? They simply reply that I am shy, which probably makes me look weak to women, but my "introvertedness" is just a part of my being. If I have nothing to talk about I have nothing to talk about.

    Due to an abusive childhood and negative social interactions throughout my life I became very self conscious. I'm pretty old now, but the the psychological demons of the past still haunt me - creating a lot of anxiety and insecurities. All of this prevents me from being more outgoing, but the thing is I was never really outgoing to begin with. I have always been introverted, but growing up in an abusive environment made me retreat more to the inside, because I don't feel confident enough in myself to express who I really am.

    Now, the escort, even though bringing troubles, allows me to be myself, because I suspect when I set an appointment with her she is already expecting I am some troubled individual who has some type of social flaw or other deficiency. Furthermore, the escort just wants my money; they don't care about my problems or if I'm awkward or not good looking enough. Escorts bring a psychological relief for me. I don't feel any pressure around them or over-analyze everything. Expectations are set, and there is no room for interpretation or walking away disappointed.

    Apologies if I came off rude in my prior post; I just interpreted your initial OP the wrong way. To answer your question though - I can be myself around escorts; I can't be myself in front of my friends.
     
  13. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Have you considered therapy?
     
  14. Origin32

    Origin32 Fapstronaut

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    I've already tried it. It never helped. All the things a psychologist ever told me I could find online tbh.
     
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  15. Pedro.lives

    Pedro.lives Fapstronaut

    I personally have done that, but you just land back at square one. Plus after spending money, your probably gonna be lie fuck this I rather watch porn lol.

    Start with just loving yourself, meditation and the realization you need no one but yourself.
     
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  16. xvtc ctvx

    xvtc ctvx Fapstronaut

    Orgin32, thanks for sharing your story and especially the tales of getting robbed. That is a wake-up call for anyone interested in trying an escort.

    I have seen dozens of escorts and by sheer luck, I did not have any robberies or serious STDs.

    I would suggest looking into sex addiction recovery resources to help. Prostitution is a dead-end road. I used to love the intoxicating thrill of finding "the best" and my ego was on fire when I could "purchase" someone stunning but ultimately it depleted my bank account and left me with no long term happiness... heck no medium or short term happiness either because the moment I left the scene I felt embarrassed or unsatiated.

    The key is to really develop real connections with partners so you can feed your soul with real intimacy.

    I have yet to get to that point but I need to abstain and focus on "me" now so someday I can.
     
  17. Pedro.lives

    Pedro.lives Fapstronaut

    Amen to that
     
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  18. Pedro.lives

    Pedro.lives Fapstronaut

    You need recovery program brah, if you was in my city I’d walk you there. P.S love the vice city avatar!
     
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  19. Lot Yanisin

    Lot Yanisin Fapstronaut

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    I understand, that's why I figured to opened up myself so you can feel related to after reading the response.
    And your answer is crazy vulnerable, transparent, and honest. Love it. (Don't confuse that, please, for relishing in any kind of past or current hardships...that's not it)

    But that's why I asked...because I know there's more to it. I grew up with big eyeglasses (they weren't thin back in the 90s) ...a stutter (obviously which got mocked)...and being compared to a dorky TV show character (nope, not Porky Pig, another...although Porky was thrown in the mix). Confidence wasn't exactly my specialty... and always feeling like I was a heartbeat away from being mocked was non-stop... I'd say for....hmmm... about 7 years.

    My personal Catch-22 that I can already forsee is this.... If I were to pay, do "my thing".... it's like....that's it? Like...is there a little chit chat? Do I give a handshake and "have a nice one."? Or is it a cold "hmmkay, bye" ? And if I know I KILLED IT...do I ask "now, I know you would've done that for FREE---not that I won't pay."

    Human interaction weird stuff in my mind.

    Back to you though.... what you said I'm sure has lead to having an impact and difficulty being able to let go. No matter how introverted you or I may be... no one ever truly wants to be absent from human connectivity. We just like ours with a different seasoning to it, yeah?

    The upside is that... my childhood isn't responsible for my next move. They're all just a bunch of lessons learned. Yeah...the hard way... but learned nonetheless...and because they came the hard way...I'm sure it'll stick.

    Here's food for thought to challenge ya.... sand it may be scary...

    if you don't feel like you can let your "hair down" around your current circle of friends..... are they really "friends" then?
    And if you do have friends that allow it... enjoy their company as much as you can without being 'clingy' by their standards.

    I'm not much either for being able to go out, alone, and just making new acquaintances on a casual level. If it's business networking and about stacking paper...I'll deal with it... But if there's a few familiar faces...and I can relatively 'be myself' around them..... then yeah...I can do it with everyone else present who I don't know.

    Kinda like how Linus from Peanuts had his security blanket.... that's my security blanket for social settings. I'm sure most of us introverts should have something of the sort.

    P.S.
    Never had a great bond with my older sister... and my relationship with my mother may have influenced me to eventually being a NoFap member. You heard of a woman with "daddy issues" (whether abandonment, abuse, etc.) and thus becomes a XXX actress or stripper?

    Mine's is "female/mommy issues"... (no not creepy incest stuff)
     
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  20. Origin32

    Origin32 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, man.

    That character has always intrigued me lol.
     
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