Escorts + Femdom = Ultimate pussy pedestal disaster

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by therealtalker96, Oct 1, 2019.

  1. therealtalker96

    therealtalker96 Fapstronaut

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    I, like many other guys here developed a femdom fetish through heavy porn usage.

    I'm early 20s guy and I thought the femdom porn was bad enough, but actually acting these fantasies out with escorts is much much worse.

    For those thinking of seeing escorts, the same way that you developed fucked up fetishes through porn, the worse it can become when you see escorts to do this stuff.

    I won't specify the exact fetish but it's a form of femdom which doesn't even involve actual sex. Well I went to an escort to have this femdom fantasy fulfilled and after I was jerked off by her, all the negative feelings from PMO relapse hit me BUT 1000x more amplified. If you think a NoFap relapse to porn feels bad, it feels way worse acting this shit out.

    And let me tell you, it's the ultimate form of pussy pedestal. When you're watching the porn, you can sort of ignore the thoughts a bit, but I really noticed how fucked up the thought processes was when it was leading up to the escort...now escorts are legal where I live but it's still fucked up...

    Let me tell you, it went something like this....

    1) I arrive near the location. Still got 10 minutes to wait. My heart begins racing. "Omg what's going to happen?", "Omg will she look like her pictures?"

    2) Time is close. I begin walking to the building. I'm suspicious and paranoid, even though its legal. I enter the building and get the elevator...i slowly walk up the door. The anticipation is racing through my chest

    3) I knock on the door. She opens the door. "Huh, her face isn't that great. But fuck it. Her body looks good. Look at that outfit"

    4) I walk in. She asks if I want a drink. I say yeah. I'm checking her out and I begin to pedestalise hard. "Oh my god...am I actually going to have a woman do these things to me? Is this actually gonna happen? I can't believe I actually get to do the things I've always seen in porn with an actual woman"

    5) "Huh, now I have to awkwardly ask what I want". I nervously say whether she does fetishes. She says she does. I say what I want. She sort of looks bemused while also disinterested. She says sure. It's at this point the reality is seeping through....this stuff isn't natural, the reality is awkward and anxiety inducing.

    6) She performs the acts then finishes me off. All the negative energy is released. Depression, shame, guilt, embarrassment, self hatred x100. Everything from a porn relapse is now amplified

    Not only are all these negative emotions dominate my energy, but I'm 100% putting this woman on a pedestal. Just look at the fucked up thought processes. Elevating an escort to the stature of some sort of goddess. Its 100% fucked up and unnatural. She's a human being, she has her own sexual desires, she probably has fucked guys at bars and clubs that she actually wants to fuck...and here I am elevating the pussy to a ridiculous pedestal

    Escorts will lead to an even worse form of porn addiction. I started off seeing escorts just for sex...then it gradually escalated to acting out my fetishes with them. It's not worth it.

    If you're thinking of seeing an escort, DON'T do it. If you've got fucked up fetishes, DOUBLY don't do it. It makes thing worse. You're already putting pussy on a pedestal with femdom...having it dome in real life is even worse.
     
  2. Gratefulforchange

    Gratefulforchange Fapstronaut

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    I agree 100%, this stuff is bad. So sorry you are struggling. It is a nightmare.

    I have done a lot of massage and now it feels terrible after! I can’t go get a massage because I get the obsession real bad. It is safe (no risk for disease) but the obsession is bad! I feel the lust of wanting to go back, the fear of going back and the fear of NOT going back. My brain screams that it needs an outlet!

    I have been taking it a day at a time. The massage texts and email saying it’s time to come back, sends reminders of what I like etc.

    The shame is not worth it. But in the moment of lust I don’t care. I am bargaining as I drive over. Telling myself it will be the last time etc. I haven’t been in over 40 days. But it is getting difficult.

    I’m glad you shared! Many of us are hooked by more than just PMO. But the same principles pertain. We can be free of it all one day at a time
     
    IbrahimViking likes this.
  3. romeolima

    romeolima Fapstronaut

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    I agree.

    I posted on another thread recently where somebody was considering seeing an escort. If you have issues around guilt etc then paying for it is only going to exacerbate the situation.

    I felt the same when many years ago I used a prostitute, I thought it would be good fun but the reality was very different and at the end I just felt ashamed of myself and was poorer for it as well.
     
    IbrahimViking likes this.
  4. thelitfit1

    thelitfit1 Fapstronaut

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    I definitely had a similar experience. I've stayed away from it since.
     
    IbrahimViking and Roady like this.
  5. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Damn man, you should hurry up tu quit this garbage before it's too late.
     
    Roady likes this.
  6. therealtalker96

    therealtalker96 Fapstronaut

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    I'm trying
     
  7. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    probably not hard enough
     
  8. therealtalker96

    therealtalker96 Fapstronaut

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    I'm on a 15 day streak.
     
  9. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    If you have femdom fetish it means you have anxiety and depression. If you go to my profile I've made a thread on this that might help.
     
  10. therealtalker96

    therealtalker96 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah man I definitely have them.

    I can manage them greatly if I keep up my running. My running greatly reduces my anxiety and depression.
     
  11. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Testosterone increases serotonin so running definitely will help. If you still have the femdom fetish you might want to take 5-htp or use swear words as swearing significantly increases serotonin.
     
    TheSinnerman likes this.
  12. therealtalker96

    therealtalker96 Fapstronaut

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    I'd be careful about taking 5-htp too regularly, it can be seriously dangerous.
     
  13. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I've read it can have some serious side effects. I haven't taken it myself but might not now.
     
  14. Longtime27

    Longtime27 Fapstronaut

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    @therealtalker96 Thanks for sharing. I've also had many femdom escort visits but perhaps not experienced the same level of guilt/shame as you did. I think those feelings will help you to prevent these situations happening again.

    I do however think that at least you have moved yourself into the real world and acted out some of your fantasies, even if they are porn-induced fantasies. That was the main problem for me, that my fantasies hadn't developed naturally.

    I'm not saying escorts are a good idea, but at least you took it to the real domain, and that is one thing that you can be proud of in a way. Stepping away from the virtual and solitary world is the first step when it comes to fetishes/fantasies in my opinion.
     
  15. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    This is not a good thing to do. If you do it for real it can literally ruin your life (depending on how extreme it is). Sexual masochism disorder is caused by low serotonin so is curable by increasing it.
     
  16. mattyjsy

    mattyjsy Fapstronaut

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    I've been on 300mg of 5htp for some time now and it's been a miracle supplement for this issue. I recommend it to everyone. Side effects have been noted in higher dosages from 500mg and up per day. At 2-300mg its fine
     
    fedmom likes this.
  17. mattyjsy

    mattyjsy Fapstronaut

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    It's also worth noting that the main study cited most regularly with regards to 5-htp side effects was funded by Pfizer, who manufacture prozac, the conspiracy heads amongst us here will probably put 2 and 2 together
     
  18. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    5-htp is a naturally occuring amino acid in the body so it does seem strange how it can cause any side-effects really.
     

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