175 days no PM Goal 10. Explore moving to another city/state/country. I applied and was approved for a 1-year lease for an apartment located in the epicenter of a nearby beautiful beach community. I move in May 1, 2020. The unit is located a block from the beach and accompanying bars, resorts, etc. The surrounding area is absolutely gorgeous, perfect for riding my mountainbike, running, etc. I am really looking forward to seeing the sunsets, discovering the local restaurants and bars, being able to walk to the grocery store, joining a new gym, and getting tons of outdoor exercise along the beach, trails, bridges, and sidewalks. For me, the unit is a bona-fide bachelor's paradise: super-clean, modern, brand new appliances, nice furnishings, beautiful views, free wifi, electricity, and Netflix. And, I'll be paying $200.00 less per month than my current apartment. Negatives: it is located a lot farther from work (I currently live less than 2 miles from the office; the beach studio is approximately 15 miles from the office). So putting extra miles on my car concerns me (I already have nearly 90K miles on my vehicle, and my check engine light is still on). Fuel will likely add an additional $100.00 expense per month. And, the traffic is awful. So I will have to wake up a lot earlier. But the pros far outweigh the cons. I feel excited about moving forward on this. Feels like a new chapter in my life, and it feels like I am literally moving in the right direction. Disclosure, though: from the outset one of my most cherished and thought-out objectives about moving here is engaging with women, despite my being exclusive with my GF for the past 2 weeks. My having a GF is not stopping me from window-shopping match.com profiles. I told her I'm doing this, and she says she's OK with it, but I don't think she is OK with it. Secretly, I am very tempted to upgrade my subscription to "Private Mode," and begin messaging women, and the only thing stopping me is Goal #1: Live life with 100% honesty. No lies. No exceptions. But still: I am very tempted to lie and start engaging with women on match.com. When I was married I secretly enjoyed the adreneline-rush of cheating on my wife, and I am now starting to see that same pattern emerge with my GF. Also, I am buying weed today for the first time in 6 months, which is a huge sexual trigger for me, especially for P and M. I am telling myself that I can use it occasionally, and that I am strong enough to resist P and M, now that I have abstained nearly 6 months. I am reminded of that saying: "Pride cometh before the fall." So this new chapter in my life involves some potentially significant slippery slopes. I realize that I am risking going backwards, being the guy I was 6 months ago: dishonest, selfish, deceitful, reckless, promiscuous, lonely, isolated, unhappy, addicted to PMO, weed, alprazolam, sex, and women. My mind tells me that I won't go back to living that life, because I am older, wiser, stronger...that I can control it, but to me that kind of sounds like a heroin addict convincing himself that he can do heroin again, without getting addicted. I know women love the beach, and the gym, so the mere thought of meeting super-attractive women on match.com, and at the gym, and then inviting them for a drink along the beach, then possibly inviting back to my apartment, is absolutely thrilling, and more possible than ever. So this means I'm eventually going to have to truly commit tonmy GF, or tell her that I no longer want to be exclusive. She has, by her very own admission recently, advised that she is falling in love with me. I am now convinced that I am replacing my addiction to PMO with chasing women. I've already had sex with 60 different women, yet I have always wanted to have sex with 100 different women, yet I imagine that # will never be enough for me.