Eternally Grateful but I think its time to leave

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by yugowolf1991, Nov 9, 2019.

  1. yugowolf1991

    yugowolf1991 Fapstronaut

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    I just want to thank everyone who created the site and all the people posting bringing this life destroying problem to everyone's attention. It has quite literally changed every aspect of my life for the better.

    A little history I was a well read happy positive child with a big imagination and a big heart. I loved making people laugh with impressions and various shenanigans.
    Although at 13 years old something changed I discovered masturbation (not porn straight away) and became obsessed just one year later I had zero confidence and used to get embarrassed over nothing and felt anxious just raising my voice in a group with anymore than 3 people.

    I figured it was just going through puberty and being a teenager but in my late teens and early 20's I couldn't understand it at the time but I just had this dark cloud over me every opportunity I had with work, girls and anything really I either ruined or didn't give a crap about. I just wanted to get by doing the bare minimum an easy job and get home and watch porn and bum around.

    But deep down I knew something wasn't right but I just thought this was how I was often blaming other people for how they would treat me when the truth was I was a loser who didn't deserve any respect.

    So fast forward to 2017 I stopped masturbation for a week as I was seeing a girl and couldn't finish after this fizzled out I went back to my old ways. At this point I just thought it was only for sex and if I wasn't having sex with anyone what was the point of abstaining. (Truth was I was so addicted it was disgusting) So a few months after that I abstained not intentially when we went on a short break with friends for 3 days and felt great without knowing why exactly. After I relapsed after this point I started to feel the difference and found this site thankfully near the end of 2017 and became hell bent on breaking this addiction that had pretty much fucked up my prime years in life.

    I moved out January 2018 which was a great motivator through all this time I have been addicted to not just giving up masturbation/porn but self improvement in every aspect of life. I now take cold showers, mediatate, see/call friends regularly, bring people together etc. I always did exercise for years but never like I do now it used to take all my willpower just to do a session then I would be wiped out for the day now I exercise 1st thing if I can and love every workout whether its lifting or martial arts.

    Ive seen and been with more women in this last 22 months than I had in my life before 2018 and also understand them and attract them much easier. Its not about being an A hole or any of that BS its about confidence and people skills. I have had some money struggles huge ones and other issues in this time and where as in the past I couldn't handle anything I handled all these problems with determination and confidence and now I'm finally not struggling with money and am going to go back to college and pursue a true career as a councillor helping people turn their lives around like I did with mine.

    And the catalyst the thing that started everything was discovering this site and learning all my bad habits and terrible confidence/anxiety issues could be overcome.
    But I feel like if anything if I come to this site now it almost sets me back as it puts these things in my mind when to be honest now it never really enters my mind. If anyone wants to read my full story I did a journal on here which actually helped me stop relapsing and started taking things seriously so anyone out there looking to beat this thing starting your own journal on here will definetly help and keep you accountable.

    Thank you everyone life is beautiful and never forget you are in control of it! You can do this!! I was nothing special and I have achieved so much in such a relatively short amount of time more than I ever achieved in 13 years of pathetic addiction
    Good luck to you all my best wishes and love and stay strong always!!
     
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2019
  2. Innervision

    Innervision Fapstronaut

    Congratulations, man! This community is really amazing and helpful to improve ones life a lot. All the best on your journey and never forget what you've been through to be who you are now.
     
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  3. vad

    vad Fapstronaut

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    Well done
     
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  4. Mri

    Mri Fapstronaut

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    Inspiring and very much relatable. I'm 20 years old and I can 100 perc relate with what you were going through..good luck for your future endavours!
     
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  5. yugowolf1991

    yugowolf1991 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the love guys i hadnt been on here for some time and almost forgot what a positive place this was haha.
    Dont delay start today and beat this thing for good! Doesent matter if you have a few slip ups but learn from everyone of them!
     
  6. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    God bless bro..... Nice experience and a motivation to keep myself up?!!!!! I will also overcome for sure( though struggling right now)
     
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  7. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Be careful about stepping away. Make sure to start in contact with healthy behaviors and your goals. Addiction can pop up after years and surprise even the strongest of men.
     
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  8. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Good point. I abstained from going on here for over one year. After going strong against Fapping and dating site nonsense I started relapsing in April this year. Then again and again...a string of relapses has lead me to where I am today. I had a strong confidence and poise in April, felt everywhere I went women caught a glimpse of me...know I feel broken down and fatigued and just beat up badly.

    I think this guys overblown confidence and perhaps arrogance will come to bite him in the ass, sorry to say bro but someone's got to be the asshole before the good guy gets thrown under the bus you know what I'm saying.
     
  9. Good luck to you good sir.
     
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  10. yugowolf1991

    yugowolf1991 Fapstronaut

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    What are you struggling with exactly maybe I can help? I always found good habits are crucial take me through your routine or new habits you have/are thinking of starting?
     
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  11. yugowolf1991

    yugowolf1991 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you man all the best
     
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  12. yugowolf1991

    yugowolf1991 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate what your saying dude, although I wouldn't say my confidence is overblown but I take your point about being arrogant. In the early days that's how I slipped up a good few times. Although now after reading a book called the power of habit which I would highly recommend I realise if I slip into my habits of when I was addicted there the only times I feel the need to relapse. Also too much time isolated so I know this and avoid it and not only stop relapsing but enjoy a better standard of life because of it.

    I truly wish you the best if you did it once you can easily do it again best of luck to you!!
     
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  13. yugowolf1991

    yugowolf1991 Fapstronaut

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    I get where your coming from I think I may come back here periodically to check in and hopeful help some others out as people helped me out when I 1st arrived here last year. Best of luck to you mate
     
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  14. quit@porn

    [email protected] Fapstronaut

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    I have joined Nofap in august. But still now I am nit able to complete even one month of No PMO. Initially I was targeting on no porn and that with some benefits of doubts and some concessions to myself, i have completed 25 days. But with flat full No PMO i have note completed even a week.

    Worse is that in between when I released, I relapsed for longer days for 10-15 day of pmoing.... Now again started and done just 4 days of No PMO.....

    Sometimes in between I loose any intersr will to conquer this habit..... I keep on doing things not I want but only for the sake of doing it... Passively.....

    Now / till now so far so better.... Hoping that at least this time 1 month will be achieved.....

    I have started to work up my weak times, like morning and late nights , ( keeping mobile and internet out of touch)

    Let's see. And keep guiding us....

    I feel that people like you should not leave forum... Why to leave you can simply check once in while say 10 days 15 days just to see if you can contribute??? Finally it's your choice but,

    Like in college rather than professor ( who are helpful) it's seniors who can guide the best way for exams....

    So i feel that success story people should stay on the platform ( just to guide,)
     
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  15. yugowolf1991

    yugowolf1991 Fapstronaut

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    I did say in a previous post after the overwhelming positivity i have recieved i probably would check in just not as often. If i can help i will
     
  16. Son of Midgaard

    Son of Midgaard Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I know a bit exaggerated and speculative on my part there. Just because someone does not cope well with recovery long term does not mean someone else has equally got to repeat this pattern.

    I guess in recovery just as life each one has his own road ahead, less or more often travelled would of course depend on many factors.
     
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  17. Homo Deus

    Homo Deus Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Such an inspiring post. Thank you for sharing!
     
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  18. yugowolf1991

    yugowolf1991 Fapstronaut

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    Absolutely! So how are things going at the moment?
     
  19. yugowolf1991

    yugowolf1991 Fapstronaut

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    No problem my friend hope you are well!
     
  20. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Fapstronaut

    Thank you for your post.
     
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