Even without emissions, it's hard to stay on track!

Hello all,
I'm reaching out in this forum in the hopes that maybe I will put more of my energy into this forum rather than the others (kind of like - focus on the solution, not the problem).

I know that this is possible. People have practiced semen retention for years. Some have even done it while remaining physically intimate with a partner (i.e. karezza). And, I have had little tastes of what true retention can be like. Perhaps the best signpost being the times when I have seen an incredibly sexy woman and thought "huh, that's an incredibly sexy woman. Nice!" and then let it go. Perhaps even marvelling at how, for much of my life, seeing a woman that triggers me deeply can ruin my whole day.

Certain women, outfits, behaviours have triggered me to relapse, to obsession, to deep feelings of shame, to feeling inadequate . . . to compulsively masturbating or to compulsively seeking out more of that feeling.

That is my trouble in a nutshell: When I feel aroused/triggered/ashamed, I seek more of that feeling.

The challenge that I have with semen retention is that I can easily get derailed. I might do all the right things to stay on track, get a week or two under my belt, and then I start to slack. Maybe just with diet and exercise, or sugar and caffeine, or watching one rated R movie too much. Then I get triggered and WHAM! now I have pent up sexual energy. I get hooked on that arousal and can sometimes go for weeks, "technically" retaining semen, but really building up that arousal and sexual energy . . . until the inevitable relapse.

Truthfully, a big part of me still finds that path to be desirable. It's pretty intense! But, on a deeper level, I know that I want to follow the higher path. God, it's hard. It takes great discipline. For me at least, it is much more than simple retaining semen. I need to stay focused on achieving enlightenment, not intensely heightened arousal!

I'm hoping to stay on this path, or at least more on this path. I would love any advice that experienced retainers have to offer. Thanks!