Ever feel inferior talking to attractive women ?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Kman20, May 21, 2018.

  1. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    I noticed I’ve been posting a lot of threads lately lol a lot has been on my mind lately. Anyways my big question and issue here is Do you ever talk to an attractive girl and feel you’re inferior to her ? Like a lesser person ? She’s way out of your league? You can’t really be yourself because of this ? What do I do ? I feel I should just Get used to talking to attractive girls ? I want to feel equal to them when I talk to attractive women not like I’m lesser. It’s keeping me from being myself and I hate it.
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2018
  2. Conspera

    Conspera Fapstronaut

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    As much as I would hate to admit it, I do get this. In fact, there were two cute girls at my gym today and I decided not to talk to them. A lot of is mindset, and it's something I struggle with. I do think, though, that the more you do it the easier it will become. Good luck to the both of us.
     
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  3. boxer713

    boxer713 Fapstronaut

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    It’s called being excited and nervous at the same time. Really you feeling inferior to her just come from what you tell yourself or how you feel about yourself. Being yourself is the best thing you can ever do. The reason why is because once your comfortable with yourself, you’ll be more confident with yourself. Once you get that confidence in yourself, you’ll ask yourself questions,is she worthy for me? Most guys, including myself was nervous in the beginning of my dating stage to talk to women. It’s normal man, don’t over think it. Hope this advise helps.
     
  4. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    It did thank you. I think it is just how I view myself and the unrealistic way I view attractive girls, I need to learn to humanize them.
     
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  5. jukebbox

    jukebbox Fapstronaut

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    Unfortunately i do and i have no clue to stop this.
     
    Kman20 likes this.
  6. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    From what I’ve learned so far is to cultivate self worth and get with reality basically. That these girls are human just like us.
     
    Hitto likes this.
  7. You gotta work on your self esteem man. 3-5 non physical things you like about yourself. The inner work will get you further than the outer. Work on it until you got it down pat. Just 3-5 things, no more!

    You just met this girl and you want her to like you so much but you dont really know her until you know her. Don't put any chick on a pedestal because she has no choice but to look down on you, like that one?. She's no better than you, your just giving her all this value when she doesnt deserve it for her looks and even if she seems cool you dont know her well enough. Just remember there is an abundance of girls that could like you and this one girl is not really that important.
     
  8. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I really need to work on my self esteem. I know putting a girl on a pedestal is bad you’re right, if I do that she won’t ever be able to see me as an equal.
     
  9. Its a great quote because when shes on a pedestal she's raised above you and looking down at you only I meant it in an emotional way. Iv had taller girls like and respect me so its not a hight thing. Its you that feels like a lesser person because..???? I'll just let you know that there can never be attraction when you see yourself as below her. She needs to see you as an equal or above her or forget it. Id go with an equal and not overcompensate by putting yourself above girls.
     
    Kman20 likes this.
  10. boxer713

    boxer713 Fapstronaut

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    Also don’t feel bad that your confidence is not where you want it to be right now. Some guys out there have been successful with plenty women and then something happens to them in life and then they feel depressed or not worthy anymore. It’s just a phase of life sometime ya know. As @BestVersionToday said, start of finding things that make you a great person and recognize it. Continue doing nofap, cold showers, working out and asking girls out for some ice cream or some food. Get out there and try bro, and don’t be afraid to fall. Your gonna have good days and bad days bro, there’s no way around it. You might have a month of nothing but good or vice versa. It’s apart of the game bro. Once you start building yourself up, you no longer need to tell yourself to not put a girl on a pedestal, because from your experience, you will know why not to do it.
     
  11. Cobra

    Cobra Fapstronaut

    The reason is because we putting girls on a pedestal. Now really think about this. We feel inferior to an attractive girl just because of the way she looks. Remember that the way a girl looks doesn't define her or show how valuable she is. Girls are humans too, just like us. I've gotten better at seeing girls as just people, and my interactions with them are improving.
     
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  12. No, I do not. So many guys have difficulty with attractive chicks because their brain (and eyes, etc) is elsewhere --- thinking about the girl sexually in-the-moment and not seeing her as a person, which actually screws up the chance of getting to really know her.
    Never EVER think a girl is way out of your league, because she will pick up on that. And know what, if you think she is out fo your league, she will think you are right.
    Women see us differently than we see them. Not all, but most. My experience? We guys are absolutely superficial in our younger years. Looks is all it is. Women? They like a guy that makes them comfortable on certain things, edgy on others, and a fellow that can make them laugh, feel wanted and protected. But if you project zero confidence, then the woman will agree w you.

    As @Roady and @Cobra said, just stop putting them on a pedestal. Do not worship her just cause she is hot.

    Practice being yourself. Be nice, kind, respectful, funny, honest ....be a Boy Scout...but BE YOU. Don't be cool. Chicks think that is stupid. Just be real.
     
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  13. positivefunction

    positivefunction Fapstronaut

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    I have this problem, and I think its because of low self esteem.

    Right now, I have nothing to be confident about, you see. I think maybe thats why I have low self esteem.

    That's why I'm trying to work on myself first, so I can have something to be confident about, and hopefully the rest will automatically follow.
     
  14. boxer713

    boxer713 Fapstronaut

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    Well for one bro, you can’t believe that you have nothing to be confident about. That’s just trapping yourself into depression. You need to have positive thoughts. Be more positive and things will begin getting better.

    You said you want to work on yourself, that’s great. That’s the key to gaining confidence in yourself. Building your self esteem won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the end. Follow that path and don’t be discouraged, if things don’t go the way you want it too every time. As you continue and this journey, you will see things that you can be confident about.

    There was a point in my life when I felt the same way you are feeling. But through trial and error and experience, it led me in a better mind frame and a better look at life.
     
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  15. leo da king

    leo da king Fapstronaut

    I don't feel inferior or superior. Why should I? Attractive women are people just like us. They are equal to us. We aren't superior or inferior to them.Attractiveness does not equal to power. Maybe I think like this because I'm only 14. Maybe I think like because of my streak. But what I know is that we should not feel superior or inferior to other people.
     
    Kman20 likes this.
  16. I feel like that a lot in various situations, not just with attractive people, but maybe people who seem cooler than me or more outgoing than me, etc. The root of the problem is, of course, confident and self esteem issues. You can't compare yourself to others. You have things they don't, and they have things you don't. And as one of my favorite quotes says, "when I accept myself, I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me."

    Also, remember that people tend to put their best foot forward in public. You have no idea what kind of issues that girl could have. Maybe she's a really all-around good person, but I'm sure she has flaws too.
     
  17. Workforthatlife

    Workforthatlife Fapstronaut

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    Real talk this person is on point. All of us are human and live and die like the rest. Honestly I prefer to go with the fuck it attitude and just be yourself and say what you gotta say. Without being rude of course.
     
  18. Nate1879

    Nate1879 Fapstronaut

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    I agree. I wouldn't be surprised if there is self talk like "I'll never be worthy of someone like her" popping in mind as soon as the talking begins. It's a way of feeling about the self problem.
     
  19. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate all the advice here its all great advice ! I think I should try talking to all the attractive ladies I see as a normal person instead of someone that worships them and is trying to get something from them to get used to it too. Instead of thinking “oh I shouldn’t talk to her she’ll think I’m trying to get her number or something and weird her out or I’ll get rejected so why even try”.
     
    leo da king likes this.
  20. Too scared of rejection. Accept it. When you accept it and you can still walk away and love yourself, how much is rejection going to affect you? It affects us when we get rejected and we feel worse about ourselves because our self esteem did not come from within but what she thought of us, thats not self esteem. If she likes us we are happy and if she doesnt like us we are not hapy and we start to judge ourselves negatively and then we approach the next chick shit scared feeling less of ourselves. Some peoples self esteems as so hurt that they retreat to there rooms and jerk off and never come out again in case they get rejected. "Ms Pixels accepts me, this feels good, I dont even need chicks" .Be willing to get rejected over and over and be okay with it. Read this post twice.
     

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