Ever feel more lonely after stopping PMO?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by The Shadow Boxer, Dec 12, 2016.

  1. The Shadow Boxer

    The Shadow Boxer Fapstronaut

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    Every time it seems I'm on a streak from abstaining from PMO I feel this constant urge of desperately wanting to be in a relationship (not sexually mind you but emotionally). It makes me feel insane and drives me to feel depression and obsession about the topic. Whenever I do relapse, I never really care about relationships and find that I'm perfectly happy single. This to me is the only downside to the nofap challenge because now I began to push myself to search for something more and that is very frustrating. I start striving for love and acceptance because I don't have a fallback anymore and that has made me make stupid mistakes in the past. So what I would like to know is if anybody can relate to this and if you know a solution to this frustration.
     
  2. Sho mora

    Sho mora Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to you. PMOing is a fantasy place that gives you what you not getting from women. It is filling a void. What I have found is that when I go a long time without PMO, I tend to be more confident and my spirit to hit on women increases because my PIED is replaced by the desire to get a woman. I know that being single increases the desire to PMO because you can't release. BT i suggest avoiding PMO. If you find you need 2 release and you are single, there are other things you can try like buying sex but that is dangerous too and can be addictive especially for a PMO addict not to mention the STDs even though most sex workers are strict on condom use. I'd rather be able to get it up to a woman and have the confidence to be ready for sex anytime a woman ask me to than only be able to get it up on porn. Buying sex can be destructive to a person bt i think porn is more destructive, if you can't get it up when a woman wants you to, how are you going to enjoy life?
     
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  3. douggie1962

    douggie1962 Fapstronaut

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    What I am struggling with is why we access porn. I know that I accessed porn for a sense of connection and intimacy, for belonging and for acceptance, the type that normal physical and emotional intimacy would be a byproduct of.
    Here on NoFap, we are connecting with each other and this can be the 'fallback' that you reference. We are opening our hearts and our minds to each other. We are connecting not with images and videos, but with words and with our minds. We are accepting of each other, and we encourage and support each other. If it were not for the support of all of you who allow me to share in your very intimate journey, I am sure that I would not be progressing like I am.
    No man/woman is an island. We really do need each other - this site does what porn could never do.

    You may be familiar with other addiction recovery programs. The first 90 days of these programs require meeting everyday for the first 90 days of recovery. I suggest visiting and contributing to NoFap each of your first 90 days. Glean wisdom from the strong, encourage the new, and be wary of those who are negative and make excuses. Add the words of your struggle to those of others and help create this wonderful narrative of transformation. I have made my NoFap time a replacement for all web surfing and social media.

    Be Strong My Friend.
     
  4. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    I feel a lot more lonely but this is good motivation to find a partner. I made a promise to myself that the next orgasm I have will be during intimacy with a partner.
     
  5. NickMat

    NickMat Fapstronaut

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    You need to find love and acceptance within yourself rather that externally
     
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  6. The Shadow Boxer

    The Shadow Boxer Fapstronaut

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    Maybe I do, or maybe I'm just taking the family and friends I have already for granted. I tend to go by Marlow's Hierarchy of Needs which presents that in order to get self esteem or self actualization, you need the support from others. But then the question is how much should we rely on other people? I am pretty reclusive at times and could probably use some more social time. So maybe it's about balancing spending time with people and then drifting on the self esteem they give you for awhile, kind of like driving a car: you want to save gas so you take you foot off the pedal instead of breaking to slow down. Esteem must come from somewhere and maybe the pride and benefits of nofap will help me with that. But in the end it's the people I love and care about that really keep me going strong with this challenge, I don't want to disappoint them even if they have no idea I have this issue with porn. Perhaps loving myself could mean loving my accomplishments as they relate to my relationships, which it turn will make me more eager to socialize since nofap makes me feel the need to get out more, which then in turn will attribute to my self esteem and end with me accepting myself. Thanks for giving me some food for thought, I wouldn't have come to this conclusion otherwise.
     
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  7. NickMat

    NickMat Fapstronaut

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    No problem, good luck to you my friend!
     
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  8. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

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    Yes @ question. But...I'm no good at relationships, etc. Need to mature first -- and cure my PIED! (even though intimacy is not a necessity in any relationship, obviously.)
     
  9. sven_from_russia

    sven_from_russia Fapstronaut

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    i've experienced this because I have had nofap / not using porn streaks before but relapsed several times. But the thing you have to keep in mind that the porn is a fake intimacy and companionship, even if you feel closer to the girl on the screen it's all artificial and that only leads to greater depression in the long run. it's like looking at videos of people eating delicious food you cannot eat
     
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  10. NickMat

    NickMat Fapstronaut

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    Fantastic analogy :')
     

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