Everything repeats .. but with other actions

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Miljamá 96, Oct 9, 2020.

  1. Miljamá 96

    Miljamá 96 Fapstronaut

    Hi everyone! Day 10 accomplished!
    These last two nights have been very terrifying, but I got over them, although I still don't know how. Normally when I wake up in the early morning between 1 a.m. - 3 a.m., I always get nervous because I think that when I wake up for work I will be too tired to perform properly. Therefore, I usually use PMO, I get weak and fall asleep quickly.

    Incredibly, these two nights that I woke up around those early hours have not been like this. When I woke up, by the way, very angry, I just didn't think that afterward I would be very tired if I didn't go back to sleep right away.
    Although in these two nights a battle was being fought in my mind, especially this last one, I must admit that it was not easy. But what I can share is what was happening on that mental battlefield.

    On the one hand, there were the thoughts: It's okay if you just see a little P, Take a look and go to sleep. You have been clean for 9 days, you are strong, you can M without ejaculating ... but, on the other hand, my mind told me: Don't give up, you have been clean for 9 days, are you going to throw them away? Go drink water ... Take a cold shower ...

    Remembering all the advice I had studied, but suddenly a question arose in my mind: “No one is forcing you to do anything; What are you going to do now?"

    I don't know how I stay meditating on these words, diverting all my attention and, above all, getting out of the vicious circle of that mental struggle. When I wanted to realize it, I woke up to go to work without having used PMO and most surprisingly, I have enough energy and another cleaner day on my meter.

    It is very important to get out of that vicious circle of mental battle between thoughts to PMO and thoughts not to PMO. We must realize that we are the ones who make decisions based on our thoughts and when we go on automatic pilot we always have these 2 kinds of thinking: To act or not to act, but, we know from experience that we always decide according to the thought of acting and I ask myself: Are there only those two kinds of thoughts in my mind: PMO or no PMO? It is clear that not because nobody forces me to do anything, but if it is true, that I have to replace the large number of dirty thoughts with a vast amount of restarting thoughts to get out of automatic pilot, at least it is working for me, but also I try to distract myself or use other strategies that I will comment on.

    Let's go for day 11 clean!
    Candun likes this.
  2. alex.is.me

    alex.is.me Fapstronaut

    Hey there. Ur doing great, keep fighting those urges and good luck onward
  3. Miljamá 96

    Miljamá 96 Fapstronaut


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