So, last night I went to a show with my cousin. Well, she didn't get off work until late, so we got there just as the show was ending.
Anyway, I was standing there and I saw this blonde woman that I was really attracted to walking toward me. Our eyes met and she smiled, I smiled back. She walked passed me.
Maybe it's stupid, but even though I will probably never see her again... I felt such validation from that. That strong eye contact could mean a lot of things, but it doesn't really matter. What matters is that for a long time I felt unnattractive and that made me feel attractive.
I'm kind of a recluse. So, I am the perfect example of someone living in an isolated cage. When I go for too long, it gets harder and harder to continue nofap.
When I go out and I experience things like this, I can live off of that moment for weeks. Not in any perverted manner. What I mean is that moment made me feel attractive from within.
It was such a shitty night by all accounts. We missed the show, drove around looking for other shows and ended up going to Waffle House. None of that mattered, I just kept grinning ear to ear in my heart.
I need to get out more.
