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Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Ghost79, Sep 27, 2017.
You are very courageous to write this here so honest.
Listen to this
I understand your feelings. I think you should find activities that bring your mind off the subject. Otherwise you torture yourself. Maybe hook up with other groups and here and make a cut with her that she does not contact you anymore and stop looking into her account and her pics
Wow bro. I feel you. This is hell. I went through the same fucking shit. As i read your post and replies, i started crying. I was reminded of the pain of her.
My advice get away from her. Throw her things away. Delete her pictures. Block her everywhere. Delete her from your life. Shit bro.. goodluck
exactly man! the initial pain of any breakup sucks because you feel like you're not gonna find anyone else. But as time passes, and you work on self improvement it becomes easier to get past it. Over time, you realize the break up was for the best.
It's easy to speak for others what's the best things I need to do, but you guys don't feel what I'm feeling. Every day I wake up suddenly at 6am as if I'm being choked and experience the pain again and again in my heart that she'll most likely never be with me. I'm just left in confusion, regret and heart broken.
But at least I'm not crying anymore as I used too. I'm also regularly exercising at the gym few times in a week. I even started seeing a therapist and taking sleeping pills everyday untill my heart will feel healed again.
That is good man no woman is that much worth fighting and crying over time heals wounds and nofap heals addiction trust the process
Yes and I hope she will never write me again. But she still hasn't deleted my phone number. She just blocked it recently even though I never wrote her first! Clearly this is meant to hurt me.
She want to keep controlling you!
delete her pics, delete her phone number (you can also block her number and then delete it, it will stay blocked) don't check on her fb or russian facebook, if you see her photos it will hurt you more. behave like she never existed. about the pain you are feeling, a lot of people felt what you are feeling. i had panic attacks, i had cramps in my belly i physically felt my broken heart, i was crying a lot, i took sleeping pills to cope with it for a while, it was awful, listening to the saddest songs on the planet. most of us have been through this. we know how bad it feels
Block her or she will probably try to hurt you more. protect yourself from her. force your mind not to think about her. take care of you, go more at the gym, talk with your family, friends and therapist, keep yourself busy. i know it is hard but the fastest way to get past this heartbreak is to pretend like she never existed. when you don't her photos on fb or russian fb or anywhere, it is easier to forget about her
She actually asked me if try to control her!
I only deleted her number and blocked her on facebook. On Vk she deleted her profile suddenly when someone probably tried to hack her!
There's no way she will write me again after the last time she wrote me. She would realize that I would understand that she is indeed a very crazy person. I mean why would a woman that is about to move to another country and to get married write to her ex? That's no moral whatsoever.
You will just have to learn the hardway. This probably your first time.
Update: She wrote me again on facebook. After the last time she wrote she would never write me again. I expected her to keep her word, but she didn't.
She wrote me saying she was in pain because her boyfriend broke up with her because he wanted a woman closer to home instead from Russia. And telling me that he was a Italian guy living in Germany and that he would fly around the world every week, visiting places as Mexico, Africa and Asia. That he was a good cook, played piano and was everyday communicating with her and sending pictures. And how much her own mother approved of him by seeing his pictures.
She also told me that she loved him, but they only met once. And that he wanted to have sex with her.
And that she found a new job where she will make alot money now.
This whole story seems fishy to me and I asked her for a picture of this man she loved so much but she said she deleted them all.
So again I tried to renew out relationship with her and again she said she is unable to compel herself to fall in love with me but wanted to have me as a chat friend
That really hurt me reading that! She knows very well I still have feelings for her!
Even if its true, its so disrespectful of her telling me about her boyfriend that she loved but only met once and pretend I'm a eunuch!
I have been there and done that my friend and I do understand how you feel. If the latest story sounds fishy it probably is and you should keep your distance in my opinion.
Only you can make choices for yourself. If she is doing this to you now and let's say she does decide to renew your relationship do you really believe she would be trust worthy going forward?
Yes good point. She said i'm a good man but she is unable to love me and that she usually likes "bad man". Her previous boyfriends were either on drugs or just wanted sex. She hoped to change and better them, in vain. I am just shocked thinking how sweet she can act in life while being so dark inside her. She also has a selfish and manipulative character, but no one is perfect.
Man, seriously, why she was allowed writing to you on facebook? Block her!
I know it his difficult, and that it seem impossible, and maybe you think you will not find another woman. But it's not like that. She is not the only woman on earth, you can find better, and nothing good can arise from a woman that behave like that.
using PMO to numb yourself from your breakup is a recipe for putting yourself in the worst situation possible.
if i could go back and redo my break up with all the things i do now, i'd quit PMO and keep myself busy and occupied 18 hours a day. constant action and movement. literally constant. once i knew i had "lost" her, i'd have forced myself to wake up at 4:30, wear my winter running gear and just GO run until i couldnt.
Then i'd go to work until i couldnt stand up. Rinse and repeat everyday.
But I didn't. I indulged myself in PMO to get away from processing the grief. I ran away from the pain. Worst possible decision and thus came the downward spiral. Took me a long time to get over it. Were I to become more proactive with my life. I honestly think 30 days without PMO without have given me the emotions to get over it.
I didn't have emotions, I constant kept medicating and numbing myself. I wanted to cry, I want to break down but I couldn't because I messed myself up.
It was only I who prolonged it.
Yes, she was nearly perfect and I missed her and this and that and whatever else and she moved on too quick and she told me she loved but less than this time she always moved on and whatever other reasons you can think of.
Its over. Time to handle your life and go hard at it with 10x the force and action. Action cures the shitty emotion of breakup like you wouldn't believe.
So forget, do yourself a favour and become a better man. You are going to look at her in 2 years and think "whoa, is she really like that now? I'm lucku I got out of that one"
You want her to look at you and think "i wish i didnt leave him"
What a difference a year can make, thats for sure.
I can tell you i felt 100% of what you felt and i felt worse. I could go through my entire story but suffice to say a girl who loved me dearly for years only to see her move on so quickly broke me.
i couldn't get anything done, i broke in cold sweat. You think you were choked? Try feeling choked the entire day because you wanted to cry but you couldnt. at least you are crying, i didn't because i was numbing myself.
she wont be with you and thats a good thing. you also have a responsibility in this. you also could have been the "bad guy" she likes but you failed to understand and you didn't.
Funny, you know what the bad guy would do? He would tell her to fuck off and he'd move on and go get another girl within a week. She would come crawling back to him when he found out. The opposite of what you are doing.
Regardless, there is virtue in this suffering. There really is. It is your rite of passage to manhood and every guy needs it to understand how it feels to have their heart crushed. the only way is up.
also cry with the therapist but forget the sleeping pills, work yourself into being tired. And cry as much as you have to. get it out.
Also, stop it and block her. I made the mistake of not blocking my ex for a while but eventually realised to get over to the next stage of my life i need to get her out completely. I told her off. I was prepared to tell her off if she ever tried to contact me. she was so sorry she hurt me and all but i said "its my time now"
You are being a eunuch when you allow her to come into your space. CUT HER OFF. Completely.
Block on social media. Block on phone. Change your number if you have to.
everyone says how bad she is. honestly, @Hawx79 you are even more pathetic for letting her do this to you. i get the feelings and all, but i was in a worse shape than you and i still managed to get rid of my ex from contacting me.
if a girl wants you as a friend, its not to be friends, its because she sees you as a free therapist. tell her, i m tired of your negativity and moaning. go see a therapist.