Ex Girlfriend angst

I'm not the type of person to talk bad about my ex... Well I haven't had more than 1 gf so I can't totally say that. Sophomore year I started talking to this girl around mau and after a couple of months in December of my junior year we started getting serious I guess I liked her cause she was low key. One of those "I hate people" type girls but yet I could always make her laugh and we started dating. Well it never took off because we could never go on dates either she had to taker care of her other 5 siblings or I couldn't drive because I didn't have a car. Well in about April she had to go to the hospital because she had really bad cramps which turned out to be her ruptured appendix. Well during that time prom was coming up and she didn't want to go neither did I at the time but her mom and friends were pressuring her to go so I did the big proposal and all and we were going until a little while after she got out of the hospital it became awkward for me. I didn't have a car to visit her in the hospital and I didn't feel like telling my parents that I had to go there so soon when we talked on the phone she wasn't laughing at my jokes like she used to she was flat out sometimes being a prick to me. I felt just so drained by her I had her in my 6th period and couldn't wait to leave she physically and mentally just put a toll on my everytime I would try to talk to her to put a smile on her face she'd just give a cold response. It was like she was on her period but I knew how she was on her period she told me at one point I was the sweetest boy because I wasn't freaked out when she acted cold towards me when she was on her period. (Before the appendix) Then on a wendsday night I was at church and she texted me if she could tell me something I had the vibe that it was going to end and I wanted it to because I was tired of her crap but another part of me still cared for her. I didn't wanna break up cause prom but she did anyway wasting 60 bucks on tickets at the time I wasn't mad but over a month or two I grew to hate her. Ever since then I've been able to talk to girls but haven't gotten into anything serious because I don't really know be myself is the typical thing but I get scared when I'm around really beautiful girls that being myself will drive them away. But back to my ex I see her almost everyday in the hall and idk what to do I honestly just want to her to go away forever I can't stand her I never got a girl to truely get over my ex and that's what I need. I never spill my emotions like this but here it is. To my next girl though she'll be my freakin' princess I won't make the same mistakes I did with my ex. On everything.