So. my ex and i have been broken up for about 2 years. we stayed very close friends. now she is starting to finally get out and date again and sleep with people. This seems healthy for her. it's utterly wrecked me. i feel so confused and distraught and cant figure out how to be her friend still. it's confused me how much i've gotten harmed by this. it makes me feel incredibly inadequate. my dating life is in its infancy and i feel so small in comparison. i feel like a small shriveled person. i don't want to lose her as a friend, she's the closest i have. we've been through a lot over more than a decade. thinking of her with some new guy whom she has 'feelings' for sends me into an obsessive rut. i feel like the best option is to pull away, but that feels like losing a best friend, almost sister. i don't know what to do.