Exercise & social interaction cure for addiction?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Fenix Rising, Jul 18, 2018.

  1. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I've come across Scott Strode, recovered alcoholic and drug user who found out that active lifestyle has a transformative effect on long-term sobriety. His way out of addiction was basically mountaineering, weightlifting and triathlon training. Could this be out relapse prevention remedy?

    I know one thing, just counting days, fighting and suppressing cravings doesn't work. You relapse eventually and you're back at day one.



    Jacki Hillios Tedx speech:
     
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  2. spylight

    spylight Fapstronaut

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    Beating any addiction is about replacing that addiction with something healthy, and transforming your life overall for the better. For me its definitely been lifting, reading, playing sports and going out and meeting women. I already have a good career so I have that on lock. You can't just stop viewing porn and not change anything else in your life. Is isn't so much about stopping a vice, its about improving your life in other areas.
     
  3. Wario32

    Wario32 Fapstronaut
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    ^Exactly. I started being more social, going to therapy and mediation.
    The first time I started Nofap I didn't do any of those things and I was so damn miserable
     
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  4. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    What does it mean, improving your life? I too had a career, very well payed job, wife, friends… until I've literally exploded and thrown away everything. I don't know exactly the cause. Probably some mix of inner void, anger and boredom. After witnessing three painful family deaths, last one being my father, I said to myself, I don't want to live this consumerist life anymore, being trapped in 9/5 time frame and waiting to die. Why? To get a better car, bigger house, yacht, beautiful wife, three kids, a dog, go skiing to Switzerland...? Fuck all that. When you're dying none of it matters.

    I'm not blaming porn. Porn is just one of my "tools" to feel something, anything. I do base jumping and paragliding for the same reason. Friends are saying, I've gone crazy, but who is more crazy? I, doing what I want, or them, getting up at 6 am, dressing up, playing their social roles, coming home exhausted day by day, month by month, year by year… being responsible community members until they die? I don't want to play this game anymore and I'm not. I'd rather die now.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2018
  5. fappedenough

    fappedenough Fapstronaut

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    I've been where you have been and reacted in a similar way in the past. Life can seem pointless at times especially when we lose people close to us in tragic circumstances. I had a really successful career and threw it away. I was tired of meetings, targets, having to deal with project managers who struggled to put their own socks on let alone manage anything. Motorways, airports, deadlines, everyone calling themselves team players when no-one really gave a fuck.

    Looking back now I over reacted, and as so many of us do when we react to traumatic events or a life that seems pointless, I let the pendulum swing way too far in the other direction. 15 years later I don't regret it but for many years all I had done was swap one mess for another mess. Opting out isn't really an option, we are all part of this big thing called society and it is not always a bad thing. Conforming isn't all bad and it can be done whilst maintaining your own identity and feeling good about who you are.

    Nowadays I have my own business, it is only small as my business is only me but I'm really proud to put my name to something that makes a difference. What I do makes people happy and that makes me happy. I will never be rich, I gave up on that as a path to happiness many years ago, but I am comfortable now. I have very little need for material possessions beyond the basics but I do need to conform enough to pay the bills, pay my taxes and have enough for me when I want to indulge in something material.

    When I opted out I couldn't get enough of windsurfing, there was something about skimming along the waves at 25 knots that nothing else could do for me. I visited a few of the world's top windsurfing spots although I couldn't really afford it. I had a wonderful life if I chose to ignore the fact that the whole thing was funded by credit. When I finally got it or acknowledged what had been obvious all along, I was in a real financial mess. That 5 year period where I was "living the dream" has probably added 10 years to my working life. If I'd stayed in my job and sucked up all the wankers for another 5 years I would have been able to retire next year, 10 years sooner than most people do. Now I have to work hard for the next 10 years if I have any chance of a comfortable retirement. I don't regret any of it now, life on the whole is good, but opting out caused me far more problems than the feeling of being forced to opt in.

    Life can be like a pendulum and sometimes it swings way too far in a painful way with events that are beyond our control. We can tend to over react and force the pendulum to swing way to far in an opposite direction. It feels like an antidote to all the pain. You say your friends think you are crazy and yet you're asking yourself if it's them that are the crazy ones. It's not a good problem to be wrestling with. The answer probably lies somewhere in the middle, a compromise between where you are now and where your friends think you should be. It's actually conformity but it doesn't in any way stop you being an individual or being fulfilled.

    My advice would be to not let untimely painful deaths make you live too much in the now with no eye on what the future holds. Dying young isn't the problem, when you're dead all your problems are gone. The problem is a long life and not having enough money to fund a long life. Some people save into a pension all their lives and never get to spend it. So what? We think it's terrible, but they don't, they're dead and they have no problems, least of all savings they never got to spend.

    I'm not saying you need to conform, live for the day, squeeze every last drop of fun out of every single second you are awake. Do all of this but think of the future. Most of all do whatever you need to to get a sense of looking forward to things. That's what I lost more than anything. I can remember being a kid and so looking forward to the summer holidays from school, or being a teenager and being excited for months waiting to go to a rock concert to see one of my idols. You mentioned skiing, I used to love skiing and was excited for months about a skiing holiday. Banging in tight parallel turns on a really bad black run was in some ways better than sex. I lost all that, life wore me down, but I have it all back now.

    My journey is not your journey and my way doesn't need to be your way. However in many ways we are all alike. Find your path, find your happiness but never ever believe that conformity is an obstacle in that journey. There is nothing wrong with it.

    Be happy.
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2018
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  6. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    It's not about money, it's about time. I looked at my father, working day in day out for full 45 years, postponing his retirement, because there was always one last big project to finish… Saying to himself he'll enjoy life after he retires and then what? Diagnosed with brain cancer, died in unimaginable pain a year later, 3 days into his forced retirement (cheaper for the state), f... that. I don't want to do that for the sake of future prospects. Life is a gamble, only thing we really control over is present moment.

    I not comfortable returning to my old life, it suffocated me. I hate playing social roles game from day I was born, the worst thing is, I was very good at it. People dislike me now, because I'm not wearing masks anymore and tell what's on my mind, but I don't give a damn. You can have thousands of so called friends, but when you're alone and dying very few people will visit you on your deathbed. That's the harsh truth of life. Funeral is something else, hundreds will come, telling stories of how good fellow you were, hypocrisy at it's best.

    I worked as financial risk assessment analyst for post insurance companies. Basically predicting probabilities of future events. Based on observations (Münich Re and Lloyds), there won't be much of social and retirement security left past 2040 anyway, when global food crisis and clean water shortages as a result of warming planet and exponential population growth hit us hard.
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2018
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  7. fappedenough

    fappedenough Fapstronaut

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    I get the time thing. I lost someone recently in devastating and tragic circumstances. It has definitely made me want to live more now, today. However it has also had the effect that I'm planning my future more as well. I'm trying to find the balance between what I spend of my disposable income on saving for the future and enjoying myself today. I'm lucky that I'm not very materialistic so money for today isn't a problem though I would like to travel more when the time is right.

    I agree with your grim predictions of what the future may hold with population growth and consumption out of control but it's not going to stop me looking forward to the future. It may all turn out very differently, no-one really knows. If your new life is working for you that is absolutely brilliant but you do sound bitter. I used to tell people what was on my mind far too much and I try to do it far less nowadays. People don't need to know, if I'm happy and they are happy, even if we have a very different world view, who needs to know.

    Anyway as you said, it's about time. So seize the day, every day, but don't alienate people by doing that. That may be easier to type than actually achieve.
     
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  8. Dr.Shilo

    Dr.Shilo Fapstronaut

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    Replace your addiction with some activity that also provides a dopamine release such as art, hard work, exercise, food, these things are almost like nicotine patches and provide you with just enough dopamine to get you through the day until your mind is re-wired and you don't need as much dopamine to get through the day
     
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  9. fappedenough

    fappedenough Fapstronaut

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    I would agree and I need to do this if my current 15 day streak is going to become 30, 45 and 60 days. At the moment it has been relatively easy but I know from past experience that it will get harder. It's not like it will become a burning desire to relapse, it will be a little niggle that won't go away. I will be weakened as I will start to forget how bad it was to be a compulsive viewer of porn. I can't let it happen this time.
     

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