Exhibitionism, Masturbation and Socially Unacceptable Attraction

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by DreamBliss, Dec 6, 2020.

  1. Little Prince

    Little Prince Fapstronaut

    I used to be attracted to children but at some point it just disappeared along with many other fetishes after quitting porn. I think you owe it to yourself to find out who you really are and what you want. To do that you should quit all forms of porn, fully clothed images if they get you excited, music videos, sex thoughts, whatever it is. Looking at models that get you excited is pretty much porn.
    Red Riot and (deleted member) like this.
  2. Randy

    Randy Fapstronaut

    I feel for you. I have some fetishes myself, so I know what it is like to be compelled to hide my sexual desires. Unfortunately your fetish can get you into serious trouble. In the USA, simply having child porn on your computer can get you sent to prison and put you on the sex offenders registry for life. I hope you are able to stay out of trouble and find peace.
    theflutesofSilenus likes this.
  3. Hi. I have a question.
    Do you think you might be developmentally arrested?
    How do you feel about ageing?
    Sorry if these questions might offend, not my intention. Only answer if you're comfortable.
  4. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    To whom are you asking this question?
  5. @DreamBliss
  6. DreamBliss

    DreamBliss Fapstronaut

    Not developmentally arrested. But even at 45 times around the sun, I am not like others in their 40's. I can still hang out with young adults and fit right in.

    I am slowly coming to the conclusion that aging and death are not necessary, that the human body has been made to last pretty much forever, but we as a race have long forgotten that.
  7. GripStrength

    GripStrength Fapstronaut

    I think that although true. The universe seems fairly pointless. And everything seems totally pointless and ridiculous sure. But specifically with sex. It is not pointless. It’s to procreate. So to be attracted sexually to something that can’t procreate would seem to be some kind of perversion of the point of these sexual feelings and chemicals.
    I guess it technically makes sense if a kid is sexually functioning, in a simple kind of way. But it doesn’t make sense if that kid has no signs of being fertile. Like boobs, hips etc. In a world without society. This is what attracted the cave men and all that. As it was a sign that they can make babies and feed them. So if you say frig it to society and a special age that society has decided is safe for everyone. There’s still the fact that the natural world away from society uses all these cues that most kids just don’t have until a certain age. Which would make the attraction obviously trauma based or something that messes with the natural free way attraction has evolved or was created, which ever you believe. There’s a reason cats and dogs don’t bang tiny kittens... it’s pointless.
  8. GripStrength

    GripStrength Fapstronaut

    As for everything else. No one really even cares. Jack it everywhere. Be naked. But just don’t take it personal if you start jacking it in front of them and they go “what the heck?!” And like push you over and run away disturbed. That’s not even society. That just their personal boundaries
  9. Hercules9

    Hercules9 Fapstronaut

    It sounds like your vision for society has more to do with your proclivities, than any rational considerations. The locus classicus for a society where anyone can have sex with whomever he wants whenever he wants is de Sade. I think you'd do well to reflect on why society has the boundaries it does; it's not to exert control over people, but to protect the vulnerable.
  10. TheForsakeen

    TheForsakeen Fapstronaut

    I personally think the best way to heal genocidal maniac is to feed them a bullet having said that i want to share an experience with an underage girl cautions may trigger some ppl.
    Ok i while back i live with my aunt and her family things weren't going great and i nutted(is that an acceptable word?) too much they noticed it and its what made me understand i was an addict cuz i couldn't quit.Now they two younger kids a 9 years i think and a toddler i don't believe they knew anything but like this girl she once walked naked while i was watching it, her parents weren't home so she liked to undermine my authority or something; they were others provocation but this one is the most extreme (another time she just touched my crotch in the middle of a fast food with her parents right there wtf right?) anyways i did not take this to be filtration even thought i know most young girl try to emulate all those soap opera they watch it was just her being a brat so there.
    That is not to say i hated her or anything i mean i liked her as much as you can like your annoying younger sister.
    I guess my point here is her not knowing what she was doing as she was pretty sheltered.
  11. DriftyMountain

    DriftyMountain Fapstronaut

    You "used" to be attracted to children? If you're comfortable, do you mind elaborating a bit on that? I'm assuming for you it was just a case of porn escalation/desensitization then, right? Because from my understanding real pedophiles can't genuinely lose their attractions no matter what they do.
  12. GripStrength

    GripStrength Fapstronaut

    I’d assume so. I know I just flat out stopped being turned on by random things like anorexic chicks. Looking back it’s like what the actual fuck? There is literally nothing sexually attractive about that at all. Now if I see a real anorexic, it gives me that cringey feeling. There was a lot of other stuff too, it’s been so long I can’t even remember. If any turn on goes away after fixing your porn brain. It (in my opinion) was clearly an addict related illness caused by over stimulation over long periods of time.
    Say turned gay, if you are truly gay it isn’t going to go away. But if you learned it and got there through escalation, it would actually just completely melt away when you begin to fix yourself.

    Some things last longer than others though.

    So anyone in that gay or pedo (or whatever is really hurting you) situation. You should evaluate if that is actually you or if it was porn induced. And if porn induced, don’t let the strong feelings hold you down! Never give up! Trust yourself and what you know is true about your attractions. And know they actually will, what it feels like magically, melt away!
    Little Prince likes this.
  13. An0nym0use1234

    An0nym0use1234 Fapstronaut

  14. Little Prince

    Little Prince Fapstronaut

    To @DriftyMountain
    I wasn't watching porn in the regular sense when this all began. By age 14 I was already attracted to kids of any age yet I started watching porn regularly years later. It wasn't the porn videos that got me like this but pop music videos, fashion magazines, tv shows, nothing on its own that would seem porn yet it had the exact same effect which is why despite years of trying to get better, doing noFap, I always failed until I gave those things up as well. I had no reason to suspect my pedophilia was porn induced, I just made an educated guess that since I didn't like the fact that I was attracted to children then most likely that wasn't my sexuality and I was right.
  15. DriftyMountain

    DriftyMountain Fapstronaut

    Ah, from the way you worded your reply I thought it was just a matter of escalation/desensitization. If your pedophilia wasn't porn induced and started by 14, aren't you still a pedophile...? Even if you don't like it, it's something unchosen. People don't choose to be gay, straight, bisexual, or have a psychiatric disorder like pedophilia (assuming it's not a case of porn escalation, etc., which you just admitted to it not being). You can't just get rid of or cure your attractions if that was something that you were born with/developed during puberty.
  16. Red Riot

    Red Riot Fapstronaut

    (Check the Quoted post, I have structured it to give a more clear answer.)
    1-It is true that some of our believes and rules are based in "archaic" religions, but that doesn´t mean those are wrong. We shouldn´t focus on where do they come from, but whether if they are true or false, (or avoiding morality) whether if we should keep them or not. The only way of doing it, is by logical argumentations.

    2-That depends on how you managed it, but ok, i´ll accept it. Repression isn´t bad per se: we "repress" killers, rapists, thiefs, terrorists... There are 2 possibe explanations: because we consider that it is morally wrong, or because we decided it that way in our social contract, to ease coexistence living in the same society.

    3-For what i´ve read in another of your posts, you don´t believe in an objective truth about morality, good and evil ("It also implies that right and wrong, bad and good really exist, when they do not").
    So, if you don´t believe there is a objetive morality, why are you demanding conditions that would allow people to "accept and love themselves as they are"? Why society should care about you or your well-being? Ignoring your needs would be easier and cheaper than trying to solve your problems. Why should society make that extra effort to help you? The root of your specific problem (exhibitionism and pedophilia) is pretty uncommon, it is not like you could convince people to change the law just out of pure interest. And it is not like you constitute a big menace, or a brilliant mind that we should keep for our own interests.

    Clearly this demand in the name of an actual morally good (not going to argue whether if this is the real good, or what you think is good).

    4-Killing is just pulling a trigger. Beauty is just pleasurable stimuli. The universe is just a bunch of atoms. That something can be conceptually reduced, doesn´t necessarily mean that it is less. Moreover, reductionism takes away the essence of things.


    6-"Having sex with whoever..." I hope you mean consensual, but let´s say you don´t. What about freedom? Does your ideal society lack it? Because in that case, it would have no logical sense to ask for freedom. Only the powerful would get to do what they want. Asking them for anything, with nothing in return, would be pointless. So, in your ideal society, you wouldn´t get what you are demanding now.

    Let´s say you mean consesual. In that case, your freedom wouldn´t be over others rights. As a "moral goodness striving society", we could allow the nudity with enough logical argumentation, but the pedophilia would be off the table, as childs have not a developed mind, with autonomous capacity to decide. Later on i will develop this.


    8-I don´t get it, but ok.

    9-In private or alone far apart from anyone who could see you? Ok. With people non consenting around? Not permissible.
    As a disclaimer, i want to say that not everything has to be allowed and approved by society, and that not everything has to be non-offensive, as offensive is a very subjective concept. But in this case, as society, we have decided that public exposure of sexual organs are not allowed, as we give some importance to sexuality, therefore we should keep it private.

    10-Again: Privately? Ok. Public? No.

    11-Good man, that´s one of the purpose of NoFap. NoFap is oriented to reducing or eliminating the amount of porn and masturbation. However, most people end up with the conclusion that permanently abstaining is more benefitial in the long run.

    12-Really sorry to hear that man. Truly sad.

    13-Here you kind of admit that there is some kind of goodness that is worth the extra effort of taking the insect outside instead of killing it (being completely analitically, not wanting to hurt others isn´t necessarily a goodness oriented goal). I think you do believe in some general morality goodness, even if you say otherwise. But, i think you reject truth because of its implications.

    14-I can´t say if that is out of goodness, or avoiding trouble. But, what i will say is that your desires or impulses don´t define you, just your actions.

    15-In the past, the concept of "childhood" wasn´t a thing, therefore there were no big consideration. I agree with what you said in another post. But, that doesn´t necessarily means that it is not true. Gravity, wasn´t a concept until Newton define it, yet apples fell. Electricity wasn´t a thing neither, yet people died electrocuted by lightinings.

    (Little stop to develop the concept of social construct.)

    Now, is childhood something real o just a social construct? Let´s start by saying that everything non-tangible non-demonstrable could be labelled as a so, as we can´t see it in nature, in animals. Justice, honor, pride, language, rights, good, evil freedom, democracy... even the concept of society could considered a social construct.

    A social construct is not necessarily bad, as we can all agree that individual freedom is better than the law of the jungle, the reign of the strongest. Moreover, we can say that social construct are necessarily an invention. It could be an already existing concept which we just happened to name. Believing if there is something apart from what is tangible and demonstrable is up to each one. But let´s be honest: if we believe that there is at least one thing untangible and undemostrable, we have to be open to the existence of more of these.

    (Retaking the childhood concept).
    Now, we could say that childhood is something, or not. The thing is, it IS something, or at least, there is some evidence that shows that there is a difference between an adult brain and a kid´s. This concept is based on observation.

    The brain, indispensable organ to act "freely" (let´s assume free will exists to avoid further argumentations), has been proved to be undeveloped when borned. It is so, that scientist mark its final development at the age of 21-25 years. Having a fully developed brain is necessary to make a full use of freedom (knowing, understanding, judging, acting. and to be susceptible to the legal implications of breaking the law.

    Now the question is if children should be jugded the same way as adults. Well, in a "morally goodness" oriented legally system, we say no. We say that they use of their free will is not equivalent to an adult, so, their legal implications of breaking the law are different to adults. Also, they have specific law that forbids them to do thing that adults can.

    It is true that not all brains finish developing at the same age. But trying to decide whether if a person´s brain is finally developed, would be impossible when put in practice. Too much subjetivity implicated. So, every society agrees on a standard age to differenciate adults and children (yes, an arbitrary age, but the limit had to be set somewhere).

    To end this part: Scientific and psicological research has shows that our sexuality (and sexual acts) has great implications in the adequate develop of our brain and being. So, that´s the reason why we don´t allow sexual acts with underage children (not autonomous yet), and generally, it is so hard punished when committed against non consensual adults. That, and of course that women can get pregnant, and man can become fathers if raped; and those two are no light problems.

    16-Ideally, that would only happen when you commit the crimes. But it is true that it is hard for you to integrate. But understand too, that you wouldn´t want to integrate someone who wishes to do something you consider evil. But again, it´s not fair to pay the prize without actually committing the crime. I´m really sorry if you experienced this if you never did the crime.

    17-I think some are borned that way, some were made by others that way and some were made that way by themselves.

    18-I´m really sorry for you, i promise. But, let me say, that should be for you a reason to avoid inflicting pain to tohers more vulnerable. You were hurt, and it was wrong, it was evil and it was unfair. You didn´t deserve what happened to you. But if you really think so, you should do everything in your hand to keep others from hurting. Someone hurt you as a child. Maybe some other person hurt the person who hurt you. It´s impossible to know. But someone has to break the cycle. If you believe that you didn´t deserve what happened to you, then help others! Or at least, do not harm them.

    19-I can imagine that it can be hard for you. But your pain doesn´t justify your actions, nor gives you the right to inflict pain to others.

    20-I´ve watched Teal Swan too. She believes too in morality and goodness, and very spiritual.
  17. Little Prince

    Little Prince Fapstronaut

    I don't know if I was born like this or are the other things that I have started to consider porn such as music videos, certain music, pictures from magazines, etc, responsible for this. It's not just having an issue with pedophilia, I have no attraction for kids anymore.
    My guess is it's the second, sexuality can't be changed, but people have accepted porn so much they don't realize that a lot of what's on the media is actually porn.

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