jimipage
Fapstronaut
This thread is for my own accountability, and I don't want to bore you so don't feel obligated to read this or respond! Thanks!
Hello, I'm not exactly sure how to start this. I'm 18 years old, and have been masturbating since I was 15, and watching porn since I was 16. I want to break free of the shackles that is the porn. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my girlfriend since I was the young age of 14; that's right, I have been with her before I ever masturbated. To tell you the truth I didn't even know what it was until after I started dating her.
Not going to get graphic with my sexual situations as a 15 year old, but I want to explain where I'm coming from as a PMO addict. My girlfriend introduced me to masturbation 3 years ago, and all I needed was the thought of or a mildly inappropriate photo of her to get off. I was deathly afraid of even thinking of another person, not only because it would upset her but just out of loyalty I wanted to sexually have only her on my mind.
Cut to one year later, and over that year I slowly crept into more disturbing thoughts, and I began to look at photos that progressively got more inappropriate. Then came videos. Then came combinations of videos. Meanwhile I felt awful for betraying her loyalty and her hating me for doing so. I came clean to her the first two times i did this and it tore her apart. She came from a difficult background and at the time I was about all she had.
My PMO addiction had only gotten worse to the point I'm at right now, and I still haven't told her. We recently were talking in general sexual terms and she brought up the fact that she no longer cared if I choose to look up porn. I still didn't come clean and still haven't. This is a very large burden that's weighed me down for two years.
A little about myself and my other reasons for attempting NoFap. This is also not my first, second, third, fourth, or 100th time attempting this. My record day was day 27. Just at the peak of my benefits, I relapsed. I'd like to think it's because where there's a will there's a way, and until now that will has not truly been with me.
I was kicked out of my home because I couldn't get along with my mother's boyfriend and have been living with my sister for two months, five hours away from my previous home. I've essentially started a new life and I don't want to bring this burden along with me in my future. I have career plans in music, and my constant anxiety and mind fog have ruined me and my self confidence. I can't look anyone in the eye, I can't speak up for myself, and I have no will to do the simplest daily tasks.
I'm in my mind all day every day, trying to figure life out. I know that's vague but I've lacked guidance my whole life and I just want to know what to do with myself and what my purpose is. I also want a successful, happy life with my girlfriend who I plan to spend my life with. I've suffered from anxiety and depression since I was about 12 years old, and the anxiety has been hundreds of times worse since I started porn and masturbation.
I plan on going 90 days without PM for a reboot. I want to use my sexual energy to my advantage and better myself as a person. I plan on posting every day as a responsibility, as 99% of my attempts have been futile attempting with fighting simply with my own mind. It just won't cut it anymore, I'm through with arguing whether or not I should do it. I very well know that failure is possible but only if I let it be.
Hello, I'm not exactly sure how to start this. I'm 18 years old, and have been masturbating since I was 15, and watching porn since I was 16. I want to break free of the shackles that is the porn. I have been in a wonderful relationship with my girlfriend since I was the young age of 14; that's right, I have been with her before I ever masturbated. To tell you the truth I didn't even know what it was until after I started dating her.
Not going to get graphic with my sexual situations as a 15 year old, but I want to explain where I'm coming from as a PMO addict. My girlfriend introduced me to masturbation 3 years ago, and all I needed was the thought of or a mildly inappropriate photo of her to get off. I was deathly afraid of even thinking of another person, not only because it would upset her but just out of loyalty I wanted to sexually have only her on my mind.
Cut to one year later, and over that year I slowly crept into more disturbing thoughts, and I began to look at photos that progressively got more inappropriate. Then came videos. Then came combinations of videos. Meanwhile I felt awful for betraying her loyalty and her hating me for doing so. I came clean to her the first two times i did this and it tore her apart. She came from a difficult background and at the time I was about all she had.
My PMO addiction had only gotten worse to the point I'm at right now, and I still haven't told her. We recently were talking in general sexual terms and she brought up the fact that she no longer cared if I choose to look up porn. I still didn't come clean and still haven't. This is a very large burden that's weighed me down for two years.
A little about myself and my other reasons for attempting NoFap. This is also not my first, second, third, fourth, or 100th time attempting this. My record day was day 27. Just at the peak of my benefits, I relapsed. I'd like to think it's because where there's a will there's a way, and until now that will has not truly been with me.
I was kicked out of my home because I couldn't get along with my mother's boyfriend and have been living with my sister for two months, five hours away from my previous home. I've essentially started a new life and I don't want to bring this burden along with me in my future. I have career plans in music, and my constant anxiety and mind fog have ruined me and my self confidence. I can't look anyone in the eye, I can't speak up for myself, and I have no will to do the simplest daily tasks.
I'm in my mind all day every day, trying to figure life out. I know that's vague but I've lacked guidance my whole life and I just want to know what to do with myself and what my purpose is. I also want a successful, happy life with my girlfriend who I plan to spend my life with. I've suffered from anxiety and depression since I was about 12 years old, and the anxiety has been hundreds of times worse since I started porn and masturbation.
I plan on going 90 days without PM for a reboot. I want to use my sexual energy to my advantage and better myself as a person. I plan on posting every day as a responsibility, as 99% of my attempts have been futile attempting with fighting simply with my own mind. It just won't cut it anymore, I'm through with arguing whether or not I should do it. I very well know that failure is possible but only if I let it be.