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Explained: those powerful urges to relapse

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by UrgeDestroyer, Aug 16, 2014.

  1. UrgeDestroyer

    UrgeDestroyer Fapstronaut

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    During my last streak, I had some intense urges on days 10 and 15 which I have detailed here in my journal. Those intense surges of sexual energy almost knocked me over! Man, they were powerful.

    So I did some research and these urges are the body's last-ditch attempt to reward itself with an orgasm. This act of desperation is called the 'extinction burst.' Just as our urges are breathing their final breath, we get an extinction burst.

    It is explained VERY well here.

    "Just before you give up on a long-practiced routine, you freak out. It’s a final desperate attempt by the oldest parts of your brain to keep getting rewarded.

    "If you were to keep going to work and not get paid, eventually you would stop.

    "You wouldn’t just not go to work anymore. You would probably storm into the boss’s office and demand an explanation. If you got nowhere after gesticulating wildly and inventing new curse words out of your boss’s last name, you might scoop your arm across his desk and leave in handcuffs.

    "If you use the same elevator every day, and one day you press the button and nothing happens, you start jamming the button over and over again instead of just giving up.

    "You lock your keys in your apartment, but your roommate is asleep. You ring the doorbell and knock, but they don’t come. You ring the doorbell over and over and over. You start pounding on the door.

    "If your computer freezes up you don’t just walk away, you start clicking all over the place and maybe go so far as to bang your fists on the keyboard.

    "If a child doesn’t get any candy at the checkout line, he or she may throw a giant spit-slinging tantrum.

    "These are all extinction bursts. A temporary increase in an old behavior, a plea from the recesses of your psyche."

    Now that I understand what's going on, I'm in a stronger position to fight it.

    UrgeDestroyer
     
    Jabba the Lover likes this.
  2. Will_Power

    Will_Power Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing this! I was just about to create a topic as to why I seem to have a "cliff" that I can't seem to get over on days 10-19. I keep falling between those days (like today), but now this all makes sense. Now I now what to expect and what I need to do on those "last ditch effort" days.
     
  3. UrgeDestroyer

    UrgeDestroyer Fapstronaut

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    The urges we get are only as powerful as we allow them to be. Now that we know what's going on, their power is reduced significantly. They are easier to ignore. Stay strong and stay focused on the new life you are building. :)
     
  4. Good Explanation. I'll keep these things in mind and complete my Goal. :)
     
  5. fap addict

    fap addict Fapstronaut

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    That's what makes giving up so hard for most people.
     
  6. Tombuktu

    Tombuktu Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the explanation. Now things are a bit more clear. Woke up this morning with incredibly strong urges. This is day 30 of no pmo (not even edging)> So, the extinction burst does lurk around after all. Just need to be on alert at all times.
     
  7. adriatik28

    adriatik28 Fapstronaut

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    Wow... this takes me back to a class I took a couple of years ago where we discussed about human behaviour. Yeah, what we're going through is "conditioning". It's tough and frustrating at times. Looking at it this way helps us understand the "why" aspect and it shouldn't just end there.

    In the case of being here in nofap, we find the reasons why we abused PMO and at the same time when urges come, we should have interventions to deal with it. Walking away or getting out of bed really helps. It's something I'm still learning, especially when the very strong urges hit me.

    Thank you for posting this. :) God bless you on your personal journey as well.
     
  8. Lekesp92

    Lekesp92 Fapstronaut

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    Hey man,

    Thanks for this post. Indeed our brains try to trick us on doing something we don't want to do again in any way it can, in our case it makes us feels desperate horny.

    This morning I'm on day 12 of no PMO and I woke up with this really powerfull feeling and I almost gave up but then I read the articule you posted and tought "hey, yesterday I woke up just fine, no urges and today the urge it's almost driving me crazy, what a hell did I do different?" Nothing! Like the articule said, it's our brain's last attempt on making us do it.

    Let's stay strong and win this battle!!
     
  9. Cojax

    Cojax Fapstronaut

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    That explains it! I have had troubles getting past 10 days. I think the longest I have lasted without Mo is 13 days. Now I know why and that will motivate me more, knowing it is just the brain desperately begging for a last fix. Thank you for sharing!
     
  10. aoliveira

    aoliveira Fapstronaut

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    Really useful info.

    I'm just starting the process and it's nice to know that bad days will come, but that I can survive them.
     
  11. Good post bro,I will make sur to keep this in mind.Im starting over,going hard mode,this will be my hardest fight.
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2014
  12. pmofreeman

    pmofreeman New Fapstronaut

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    thanks alot man
    this is my first day here
    I have been trying thus reboot for months only to make it fot ten days maximum
    I hope this forum will give me some useful insight.
     
  13. razorsedge

    razorsedge Fapstronaut

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    Wow good information thank you for sharing. The farthest I have made it in recent times is about 23 days. I have definitely experienced those urges many times and I feel very equipped after the information you have shared to beat them. My all time farthest was 27 days with no P and no O but I edged during that time. This is a shot to do it all out for 30 days. Thanks again for the helpful info!
     
  14. Ex-timewaster

    Ex-timewaster Fapstronaut

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    Time to rededicate - went longest period - 18 days - with no M, O. Then once stumbled, found it hard to get back on right track. Will take additional knowledge and try again.
     
  15. Madrileño

    Madrileño Fapstronaut

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    I'm sure it's really helpful to understand WHY as well as generally just trying to apply will power. Isn't knowledge the key to almost everything - self knowledge and understanding the world round about us. I've heard people say that wisdom is applied knowledge. So knowing is important - apply what you know to your life and there's no stopping you. Thanks for that.
     
  16. ZenPool

    ZenPool Fapstronaut

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    thanks for the info. I myself can usually make it through the day (so far) without any big urges. The hardest time for me is waking up in the middle of the night with a boner or in the morning usually right after some kind of sex dream. I have had sex dreams almost every night of the last 7 years
     
  17. yyag

    yyag Fapstronaut

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    thanks could ve used you earlier today .. had a relapse on day 11..aaaarrrgh .The link will be added to the arsenal.
     
  18. Very good post. I still am having urges as I round day 40 today. Here is the crazy part man, i went 77 days my last stint before i relapsed and binged for like 2 weeks. And i want to put out there that I was never a guy who looked at porn multiple times a day, or for many hours at a time, or got into really hard core shit. It's just simply stunning to me how ingrained this addiction is after even casually looking at porn for the last 11 years or so. They say 6 weeks to break a habit, pshh, my ass. Maybe if you only had the habit for less than 2 to 3 years, but with porn man, the ultra hyper stimulation it gives, i'm going to say more like 6 months. Esp. in the cases where it's been going on for 5 years or more.
    Can't believe since i hit puberty i've been watching this shit. No moo bro, no mo!
     
  19. UrgeDestroyer

    UrgeDestroyer Fapstronaut

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    It is really great to read so many positive comments about this thread. This information has helped me and I'm glad it's helping you too. I'm a contender for a NoFap September. Who is gonna join me? :)
     
  20. UltimatePotential22

    UltimatePotential22 Fapstronaut

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