This is my second thread on my NoFap journey and I am happy to share how I feel about my journey so far on my 21 days of NoFap. Pls keep in mind that i do not talk about the benefits of a specific parts of of my porn addiction. instead, I am expressing my pure hate for porn which I find to be quite therapeutic. if you feel like you can relate pls feel free to RANT here.
I was going to relapse on day 15 and day 20 but thankfully for a website like NoFap, that gives you access to rich content that can make you get in the touch with the feeling you get after you masturbate to a porn. total guilt, shamefulness and much more...
I swear, it was so hard for me to not watch porn as my mind kept telling me that just a random short video of a blonde girl's A$$ is not a big problem but again this has happened to me before when I have relapsed. luckily, I realised this is me rationalising my addiction but in the back of my head I know, if I watch do it. I would keep digging deeper and eventually relapse and the fact that in the past I have does this while not listening the voice in the back of my head scares the god out of me!!
I don't even know where to start with this question. I mean Imagine yourself growing up with no influence of watching porn and constant years of masturbation. how does the picture look like in your head? to me I look Vibrant, confident, friendly person with a spirit of a child who is enthusiastic about life. of course, I could be wrong here, because we'd never how we would have been...right?? but think about it with the rationality. watching too much porn is an impulsive behaviour if done for years can become a part of who you are and not acting on those impulsive behaviour can be a pain in ass which can lead to making you feel like shitttt. see what porn do to you, to me and to everyone other men with great potential in life? it turns us into a little bitch who is not emotionally stable.
Fuck porn, for a lot of fucking reason. just thinking about me laying on bed masturbating to another guy fucking a girl of my dreams makes me mad af. I WANT TO BE THAT GUY THATS FUCKING THAT SWEET PIECE OF FEMALE CURVES! why am I not there shooting a load instead of that dude with a women as beautiful as that. I mean she will probably like me too.. all those hateful thoughts and questions always pop in my head when I have masturbated for 3-4 hours after binge watching porn and finally releasing all the tension on the perfect video that I have found on the web. I have had it with this unnecessary thoughts that i would have not had to deal with if I never came across videos of guys fucking other girls. sounds weird and cringe-worthy af when you put it like that.
my porn addiction is the worst thing that has happened to me so I am not going back anymore. I don't want it, I don't fucking want it. I want to experience the pain and the pleasures of life while being emotionally stable. what's the next move guys?? what are some hardcore decisions I can take to improve my life for myself and for the sake of others as well? I SOLD my xbox, I realised my porn addiction is a problem but it also comes with association such as, when I am really bored, I will try to play video games and once I get bored of that, I move on to the next thing that is in-doors activity which eventually leads to... we all know what.
