Extreme chronic addiction to porn, creating problems with real girls and leads to friendzone

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by raccoon_sot, Jul 6, 2021.

  1. raccoon_sot

    raccoon_sot Fapstronaut

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    Hi folks,

    I'm back after many long but failed streaks. My issues have escalated big time.
    The introduction will just be the fact that i've been a porn addict since the age of 13 and now i'm 33 with severe issues in the real world. I cant look at a girl without objectifying her. Now some history. (long story short).

    I've been out of the game for the past 5 years and i cant figure out why. I went to the psychiatric hospital and the meds made me 100 KG from 70 within 6 months. Since then, no single female that's breathing, would even look at me. Rejection with the excuse that they are in a relationship. Yeah right, 10 out of 10 girls are caught....
    As time goes by, my cravings for sex, escalate and at the same time, i can't handle a simple conversation with a girl without staring at her boobs or without thinking how bad i want her in my bed. I know, if i continue like that i wont be able to hit a real girl. Every night, i smoke a joint to fall asleep and it brings on urges so i end up fapping to P. Should i quit porn cold turkey and fapping gradually ?? I'm at the brink. I have even had siucidal thoughts because i believe it's easier than quitting PMO. Please advice...

    I also have Borderline personality disorder and regularly go to a psychologist and take my meds. Depakote (mood stabilizer ) and abilify(light antipsychotic).

    Will i have benefits after so many years of severe addiction?? If yes, how long will it take? What kind of withdrawal should i expect? Will i ever have the sex life i imagine?? I mean, all my friends have told me that i could be having a girl whenever i like, and that's what drives me insane because i have tried really everything and still not a single girl is interested. All of them like me as a friend and when i get friendzoned and go away, they get angry at me. Anyway, i dont care. I wont let myself into the friendzone again, but this one scares me, because i can become really rude when something annoys me ( like the friendzone ).

    Anyways, i'm glad im back and i look forward to opinions, experiences and advices.

    Kind regards to all :)
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2021
    Melkhiresa likes this.
  2. becomingreat

    becomingreat Fapstronaut

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    not a doctor. just saying what I think as someone who had been on meds.
    most psychiatric problems in men are caused by pmo and not by some mysterious chemical imbalance in brain!
    as someone who had been on psy drugs for years, I can say I had no problem with quitting them.
    The problem begin when I started quitting pmo and that's when catastrophe began!

    Meds destroy your aura. That's why women don't want your presense. I'm not certain how much of it get corrected with time as I'm already dealing with it but having a healthy lifestyle help.

    Also before getting the rewiring done its hard to be successful in different aspects of life. Because you are foggy, brain is sluggish and you probably don't function properly.

    imo opinion talk to your doctor and stop those meds. Instead work on the main culprit which is pmo. If you really need them go ahead of course.
     
    Mr. Kruger likes this.
  3. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

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    Meds are whack. Weed is whackier. Get rid of these drugs (if you can without major problems), it won't be easy, but in the end, this shit will get you nowhere. Take it from this bipolar friend that used medication and weed for over 15 years.
     
  4. becomingreat

    becomingreat Fapstronaut

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    Hey man would you share your experience on quitting meds with me?
    I mean I've quitted bipolar meds a few years ago, a year before starting nofap. I'm very foggy in head and I don't know its pmo withdrawal or because those meds had messed up with my brain. I'm a bit scared that their effect is permanent.

    How are you feeling after quitting those meds? Do you feel emotions? Can you function normally?
     
  5. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

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    Hey there. I've stopped it all just last year... So I totally relate to the brain fog, I also still have it but I feel it gets better with time... As the days go by I feel like the "ice slowly cracks" and I start to have feelings again. Sometimes that's hard because that means I have to face and resolve feelings and thoughts that bother me or make me depressed, but there's no other way around it. I will not numb myself all over again. In terms of permanent damage, I don't know, sometimes I think about that, but what could I do anyway? The brain is amazing and has an unknown capability of healing itself, and if it doesn't, it creates new paths that can build us into whole different people. If the damage had to happen, it's ok, I believe it was for a reason, and if I can't go back to being my "true" self, then I'll become someone new. To me, faith has to be larger than everything. Faith in whatever you choose to believe. You can never go back to being what you once were, you can only go forward.
    All the best.
     
    becomingreat likes this.
  6. becomingreat

    becomingreat Fapstronaut

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    Seems like you've handled your situation pretty well and got along with what happened to you.

    Seems like the problems we med users experience are more than other users, they usually don't understand ours.

    I'd rather feel extreme sadness along with happiness than to be numb to both. Have you found any solution for this numbness to be alleviated sooner? What about brain fog?

    I eat healthy and recently started doing exercising. Exercise helps but its effects don't last more than a few hours after practice, so I return to my old crappy self after a few hours each time.
     
  7. blademaster87

    blademaster87 Fapstronaut

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    Clean fresh diet and regular exercise are key. Yes, exercise will give you a boost temporarily, that's why you gotta keep on practising. I'm about to start doing it daily, you have to choose an activity you enjoy doing. Also, reading and writing. If you don't write you should at least be reading everyday, that's mental practice. Something that really helped me a lot and I should go back to doing it more is hand calligraphy. It's a real complete exercise. You are thinking and drawing at the same time, powerful for the brain. But most importantly, I think, than adopting new good habits, is to avoid engaging in old bad ones.
     
    becomingreat likes this.
  8. raccoon_sot

    raccoon_sot Fapstronaut

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    First day of nofap and i just hope i wont relapse when i go to bed.
    I felt more productive at work, i woke up easily, and i am clear-headed. A thing i really miss.
    Let's see the rest of the journey now :)
     
    Abel100% likes this.
  9. raccoon_sot

    raccoon_sot Fapstronaut

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    When do you tihnk is the right time to start going after real girls? Like one month after my last fap ?
    I intend to get an escort by the end of the month
     
  10. Abel100%

    Abel100% Fapstronaut

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    Jajaja está bien...risas ...éxito
     
  11. Nagos

    Nagos Fapstronaut
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    Hey,

    I'm not a doctor.
    Bur I think your problems, come from compulsive behavior. Nofap might very likely heal your psychological and physical problems. Compulsive behaviour causes mood swings, addictions in general do. It might be the underlying cause of your borderline disorder.

    Best you start with Nofap. You might overthink your diet and start to exercise. Putting on some muscle to loose weight. After that you could ask your doctor about reducing the meds and later cutting them out.

    Most girls don't like fat guys, especially if they radiate their problem's. They want someone who radiates stability. Nofap is a mighty tool for this.

    Wish the best for you. Stay strong.
     
  12. TruthIsFreedom

    TruthIsFreedom Fapstronaut

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    Hey!

    Forget about "bipolar mind, personality disorder, psychology stuff you can put here, etc..." what u need to do is find a purpose, you need to know who you want to be in the next year or two and start working on it, you need to leave the adiction behind and start to improbe YOURSELF.

    Stop chasing girls, leave the dating game for a time, let´s say 6 months and start working on you fulltime.

    Hit the fucking gym, if you´re getting bald then work and keep money for hair transplant surgery, are you winning good money? if not, find a temporal job and start from there until you studied enought to get a better job or start a bussiness.

    Throw your meds away and start meditating, let the feelings hit the surface and feel them, if you feel extreme pain because you need woman aproval and you are not getting it, feel it, feel the pain no matter what, with time you will heal and start feeling better, you will start seeing woman like humans with feelings, but not forget to work on your purpose every day, nofap alone is not working.

    And yes, my problem was i was chasing woman and they were the center of my universe, i´m lefting that behind also, now i´m working on my selft and slowly i´m making myself the center of my world. stay strong!
     
    LyarTheTruth likes this.

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