Extreme real life story - femdom/findom slavery to a girl addiction - *Possibly triggering story !*

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Kilrunio, Apr 22, 2020.

  1. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    You don’t want to be free if you don’t end it with her
     
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  2. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Why would ending it mean you are a jerk. People break up all the time. You have made this something much bigger than it is.
     
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  3. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Lust is going after something you shouldn’t/can’t have therefore it is always going to have some pain

    Love is going after something should should/can have therefore a healthy relationship has much less pain

    Some people like to experience pain as it seems different and exciting, but when it escalates to suffering, they begin to hate it, but they are too far gone and it is difficult to turn back. But is still possible if they really want to.
     
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  4. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    I tried imagining a conversation now, and i think that could work if i do it..but i can feel i get emotional and sad, and pretty much crying - i get very strongly attracthed, and ive had that before with girls, and i heard as a submissive you get attached to a dominant aswell.

    But yeah i got enough red flags, and enough reasons to do this for myself - i just gotta keep in mind this is a sacrifice, this way i can overcome any reasons my brain tries to mak ethat this is good and i should keep going...just tell myself, this is a sacrifice i gotta choose - one or the other, and im choosing the other which is myself, self care and focusing moreo n my buisness, and new adventures, new people, and familiy.

    This is what i gotta do. I guess noone said it should be easy. But i just gotta get it done and then its over and i can move on..

    there is plenty of fun - and like today when i had a phonecall with her we talk so well, and natural...like we do have a relaly good connecrtion..but too many red flags with her and just overall its time to end it...i really feel this double life thing needs to end. I need peace now. Even if things are better than they have been and there is plenty of fun...i dont wanna procastinate just because i can have a fun day with her girlfriends or whatever or that now i sacrificed so much money and time to get here...no no no..i should be proud of what ive accomplished, and then move on, ive had some fun..and also a lot of not so fun..ive learned a lot to stand up for myself and not take shit..so yeah... i just gotta get it done...

    i got some work to do but it´ll fit perfectly with seeing her next week and then ending it, and otherwise a phonecall i guess is fine too or a text even.
     
  5. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    Thats true, i guess i have a tendency to make things bigger than they are...as we aint in a rleationship...its clear im just a slave...and yeah doesnt matter..things come and go..she even told me when she cut me off..sometimes people are in our lives and then thye are not..and that hse had cut off people who meant more to her than i did...this is one year ago..but yeah it really is time to end it.

    I just gotta keep it short.

    But what reason could i give for ending it? Like where it sounds fine and without she will pressure me. I just wanna keep it short and precise. I feel she+ll iehter be mad, confused or dissappointed...i know i have to focus on my own..so if i see her i need to make it quick and then leave..i dont want some long conversation...i´d have to say i have to go or something...that im busy but wish her the best and thanks for the fun tims and goodbye...something like that.

    But if i tell her im ending it/gotta end it - then what to say if she asks why? i can say other things needs my focus? she may say we aint seeing each other much...idk i just want it simple..
     
  6. Rationaliser

    Rationaliser Fapstronaut

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    End it with sending a link to this thread LMAO

    I swear, I'll laugh my head off if you do that.
    How about the most accurate one?
     
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  7. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    You don’t need to give any specific reason, just say you don’t feel the vibe anymore
     
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  8. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    The problem is that you are still trapped in the spell of femdom, please just snap out of it
     
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  9. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    You´re right...I feel like i keep switching..I think im afriad of oneitis - like losing my one chance which now ive built up, after spending like 15000-20000 usd on this whole thing...its so much money..these days i regret spending so much on her home instead of her beauty....like do one year of serving and paying for beauty stuff could had been fun...instead if wasted it on so much else for her...always feeling so pressured to spend money...which is odd because these days there aint no problem. No pressure after i put a stop to it..back then i felt i had to spend X amount of money..now? Im all good with spending nothing and i know she accepts it she complained at first but now she did.

    Also another red flag idk if it is - but shes using weed, wants to stop smoking but havent, and sometimes it seems she takes xa...xax or whatever its called she asked me to pick up for her..i dont know much about it but i think she uses it sometimes...but what worries me is like today she was so eager to say she could pay for it, she would even pay the gas for my car (shes never done this and is like nothing its such a short drive) and if i wanted it in cash i could get it, all she wanted me to do was go in a store and ask for this when noone was there...as she didnt have time before work.

    But she was so sweet, so eager, even said she could come to my home to pick it up..again shes never ever done this ever...

    This sounds to me like a drug addict, she needs her fix and is willing to do what it takes.

    What ive really realized is...all these femdom videos i see everyday and have watched for years...its all fake...its so fake now i cant jerk of to it...i just look at it and go" thats fake.its sexual..."..its all acting...they get money for it...and the whole naked guy, watchimg him jerk off, or spend oyur time all dresses up hot as fuck with a girlfriend makeup and sexy clothes and you humilate some loser? yeah right thats so fake...the girls ive served would never do that....i dont get that...i get told to clean a bathroom, do some errands, and maybe a tiny bit of humiliation if they like..but its not like this where you get some fun like friends say yay this sounds fun..no..

    Its so so so fake.... the only reason i can imagine all this femdom porn being real is if they are all friends/are dating - and they all enjoy it and find it kinky and roleplay..otherwise aint no girl wasting her time with a guy like this it just aint happening...

    Thats why ive found real slavery is boring...its just chores and its like a paradox

    If the girl cares about you she dont wanna hurt you right? or humiliate you...maybe she wil ldo it to make you happy but it feels fake..
    if she doesnt care about you and you´re just her slave...why would she wanna make you happy? if a girl doesnt respect you in dating she leaves you...for me here i just get used and told thats what i wanted...again fantasy..to really feel abused and used like i thought i wanted..is not fun like i told her..its tragic comic as i laugh but can feel sad.

    I need to end it yes...i just keep thinking...i got back to get my 24/7....but ive no desire for it really...and she wont even let me use my cage one time in her shack...thats all i wanted to try one time...or do an hour of fun femdom ideas..but it never happens.... i kinda find her stupid like shes willing to work for a month or a whole day but i can give her that in an hour...but no....i give her so much why isnt she eager to fullfill my ideas..because she doesnt care..the idea we do itry i suggest she often is against...but then finds she likes it and loves it like shock etc and toilet brush etc...

    Why be with a girl like this...i do need to end it...i´m just gonna keep my plan and hopefully next week its over.

    I just wish she´d be more eager to fullfill my ideas...like i begged for a pair of her used shoes but no i only get it after selling X amount of shoes for her...so stupid...ive done so much and given so much....its just annoying...but at least ive come out of my fantasy zone...

    All these femdom stuff like some porn maker from younggoddess said..its fake...its acting... its just a fantasy.
    That totally ruins it for me - but thats good as it makes me want to have a normal relationship finally.

    I guess the solution is just end it - dont think, just end it - then let time do its thing and move on..thats the only way...otherwise my brain will keep thinking.."give her a chance.." but ive done tat for so long...and i dont wanna do ultimatums..shes a taker like a woman told me...a taker...thats all she is...and she has redflags with anger...and how she handles her money and drugs imo...idk if shes a drug addict but i dont like she takes all that shit..

    Anyway thank you so much for replying, it really means the world to me i can let all this out and get help.

    All there is to do now is end it - im only going in circles like ive been told...when ive had enough shit i´ll end it..i dont wana keep rambling on... will just post here if/when ive ended it...that way i can keep myself from rambling onwards.
     
  10. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Watching too much femdom has just mindfucked you

    it has made you associate pleasure with someone ruining your life

    in reality you don’t want someone to ruin your life, who would?

    femdom makes you believe pain and humiliation are pleasure.... THEY ARE NOT!!

    you seem so close to snapping out of this mind fuck.

    JUST SNAP OUT OF IT and never look back!!

    this girl sounds like such a loser. Find a normal girl and you will be much happier.
     
  11. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    Femdom is brainwashing and mind control and you are a victim of manipulation and abuse. PLEASE WAKE UP!
     
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  12. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    Wow this helped so much..really made me think... think i need to say that..shes allser..a llser..this shit has effected me..im not thinking clearly...yeah...ye f this...man it feels good i will write down how i feel like this and re read it..thinking of the awful shit i didnt like that has happened or redlfags about her....fk this helps soooo much....it destroys my fantasy image of her...shes a loser yes not me.

    thank you man. I can do this.
     
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  13. Prince Macintosh

    Prince Macintosh Fapstronaut

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    To key in on what some others have said, you are no longer here by choice. You are a victim of severe abuse, regardless of how you got there.

    I feel some of this on a personal level, as I was into pretty heavy femdom, hypnosis, etc. for a long period of time. It really did a number on me, and some of the fetishes are still with me, and it's tough to live with the knowledge that I did it to myself. But you've gotta get out of there, no matter what it takes. I think you probably need an AP, coach, whatever, to hold you accountable and work you through it. If you need me, I'm happy to help you break it off and get back on your feet.
     
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  14. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Don't think of it as spending it on her home. Think of it as spending it on a long femdom vacation. Sometimes trips aren't as nice as we originally thought they would be, but what can you do. Time to come home

    If you know this then why do you keep going back.

    To tell you the truth I think you fell in love with her. It isn't about femdom anymore. You love her for her flaws and all. You are concerned that she is a drug addict. You find some of the stuff she does sweet. You just want a friendship with her. But guess what? You messed up. You will not get the relationship you want.

    You talking about the cage or some femdom foreplay isn't just some pervy desire I don't think. It is you wanting to express your love with her. And you got to the point where femdom play is how you make love. But you messed up and she put you in the 'slave zone'. It is like when a nice guy wants a girl and is put in the 'friend zone'.

    It's time to move on and find someone else. Tell her that you love her and this has become too painful for you. If there is even a shred of decency in this woman she will understand.
     
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  15. jimmyclear

    jimmyclear Fapstronaut

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    You, sir, really need to snap out of the Beta/Omega mindset. I mean, I get that was your "Turn On" at the first shot, but if you kept it up, you would be nothing but a husk.

    This woman that you've been hanging around, Pure Succubus. You have to be careful around those people. Men can do it, but we, as men, are more into Cultivation of Energy, rather than Refinement. So, your not going to feel that unless your desperate for one.

    Now, you need to pull up your jocks, and leave. Period. She will keep draining you, keep using you, and keep treating you as a being lower than dirt. Take whatever you have, and run. Get rid of your phone, restart your life.

    This is real, and she is not to be part of your life anymore.
     
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  16. Surfguy

    Surfguy Fapstronaut

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    This is real, and she is not to be part of your life anymore.

    As others have said, end it. You are nothing more than free money for this woman. When the money stops chances are she will simply discard you.
     
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  17. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    I dont like to think of myself as a "victim" but i do think ive been effected by some of the treatment, the girl knows im sensitive now...the worst episodes was when i got slapped a lot, or hit in the head...when i think back its really bad...like while i was driving the car sometimes i would be slapped...one time really hard..like how stupid are you - like not you, but like you as in general, how stupid is a person to do that...i know my issue is ive been so scared of losing her..but i reminded myself of a girl i once dated and itried my hardest to keep her when i should had let her go...this is the same..

    Thank you so much for offering your help. Thats is extremely kind of you, and I will keep it in mind...If I dont get out when i plan to now i will definitely write to you and take your offer, i hope i can write here im out of it.

    Are you fully out of femdom or how far? Fetishes are okay i think its just has to be done right.

    My whole idea was this worship of a pretty girl that i didnt wana try dat or become friends with...but i really do realize my mistake now with all of this...
    I love what you said

    "But you´ve gotta get out of there, no matter what it takes". Thats gives me strength in knowing i need to just do it and move on..like right now i feel real good...i can feel its over soon...i was gonna see her tommorow but chores...but i told her something got in the way and all shes done is text she expected it and when can i then come....
    theres been so much bad shit...always with her rent when she needed to pay that and ugh..so much...i made a list of red flags and bad things that happened and its so crazy to me now..but it just shows how deep you can get...i think finally i will stop judging women and men in abusive relationships...now i know how it is even if mine is different...
    no matter hw special a perso nis you gotta be okay with letting them go...i should had been out so long ago... i think ive also been slightly afraid of her..didnt wanna make her upset...but theres so many red flags..also since she has anger issues...and shes such a taker....she takes takes takes...and demands...and shes a master at making it sound like shes given a lot, or its what i asked...like when i told her to stop hitting me i nthe head as i didnt wanna do fetishes that hurts permanently..she said i asked for it...even after saying any times stop...i dont care if its just a bit...its been way worse like i remember if she´d kick me or slap me in the face - she´d tell me not to defend myself - and if i tried to protect myself just by covering up she´d get angry and say i hurt her - as she´d hurt herself on me....its so sick....the femdom addict in me loves it...lvoes that cruelty....but only in a fun healthy roleplay...not in actuuality...ive been so stupid to think i could do this slave stuff with a girl like a real modern slave and still expect kinky play like if it was with a gf and expect care and her to someitmes give me fun...

    its just...sometimes we have amazing chemirstry, we have so much fun, we can talk about things, about life, and if we havent talked i can tell we sorot f missed each other..but theres still that part of the slave....i know we could had been friends if not this...but like she sai d this is what i wanted...

    This reminds me of mafia 2 if anyone played that game...where the guy gets power, wealth etc..but along with that came jail time, fear, loss of friends etc...same for me ive got a lot of fun at first..but a lot of bad shit too..

    im not gonna see her right now im just gonna keep telling her i cant see her...this way i can get a break, and then either call her or just tell her i need to see her and say its over...i can feel the more distance i get the more free and better i feel - i feel happy. With her..i get my hopes of femdom fantasises..but it never turns out that way,

    Im trying to quit femdom all i can..

    What are some of your femdom cravings still and how did you get out? Online femdom ive realized is fake like these findom and clips girls are all fake...but femdom with a girlfriend..i wonder how to quit that...maybe by feeling more manly or jerking off to vanilla to brainwash ourselves?
     
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  18. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    At first i tried to date her when we met long ago - but found out she had a bf, and stuff and it was brief i tried...i think you´re right...i dont think im in love with her but i think im in love with worshipping and adoring her..and like she tells me i should do that...i feel finally i got a girl to do that with something i craved for years as a child...i can be myself...but its so unehalthy....and yeah im probably treating her and caring more than i should....like a smart woman said about other things and financially - this is not what our relationship is about...our should be about fun and play and some serving but not this unhealthy stuff...i remember i got so hurt when she said she only saw me as a slave as i thought we were also like friends having fun....but no...shes later siad we could be friends if i did that first..or if we were friends then did slave stuff then back to friends....

    i also got hurt when she said she lost respect for all the things i did like licking shoes etc....but that annoyed me as i asked her is she open minded? yes ok..good...and what if her bf wanted this would she judge him? no she said....now later on these days shes fine with all these things she doesnt like judge me and we can talk like friends too and have fun....but i know she doesnt see me as a man..and even tho we have such amazing chemiestry and she can be sweet....theres still other times i feel it gets worse like how she say im weak or never been a man...and i try my best to adapt and love rejection love being degraded and told how much of a loser and unmanly i am...just go to the extremes

    like some guy said on this site or elsewhere - how can you be happy when being treated like that? when letting yourself be treated like that.

    Great analogy with the nice guy and the friendzone...."Sometimes trips aren't as nice as we originally thought they would be, but what can you do. Time to come home"

    Time to come home...i can totally imagine it being over, me taking a nice shower, sleeping and waking up..new life...im so ready for it...

    Thank you so much for to you and all for the effort - this is seriously the most supportive community ever. I owe it to everyone to just end this. I planned on seeing her once...just one time...thats all i need...then i can say goodbye - for now i told her i dont wanna see her..like i got other stuff to do...i wanna be mentally strong and then end it...this distance is helping me a lot.

    I really like what you said here
     
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  19. Surfguy

    Surfguy Fapstronaut

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    Oh dear, I don't like to think anyone can't be salvaged but you are pretty close. The fact is you are friendzoned, not even the type of friend that is a friend but you are friendzoned as a free cash source. Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Move on!!!!
     
  20. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    You are still MINDFUCKED. Until you realise that, you will ALWAYS be stuck in a loop.

    Your mind telling you that it is pleasurable to get pain, humiliation, emotional hurt, further mindfucked is a very BAD situation.

    You still believe in this “fetish” which is really a gateway to HELL. You have already experienced a taste of HELL. If you continue you will go much deeper and won’t be able to get out. Because of the femdom MINDFUCK, that possibility probably excites you. DONT go any further. PLEASE SNAP OUT OF IT!

    She is DEEPLY disturbed and a loser. She is also a victim of this mindfuck that is femdom. You will both drag each other deeper into a living HELL.

    You ARE a victim of femdom abuse, manipulation etc. You have been very vulnerable. You need the MAN in you to WAKE UP and fix this.

    I hope you END this soon and begin a great life.
     
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