Extreme real life story - femdom/findom slavery to a girl addiction - *Possibly triggering story !*

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Kilrunio, Apr 22, 2020.

  1. eevahnits

    eevahnits Fapstronaut
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    Wow man! Your story is really wild. I don't look down on you for wanting to be treated that way. It makes you feel certain way and it's okay, but I think there should be a border. If you're exposed to hearing bad words about you all the time and being treated like shit all the time your brain will start truly feeling like shit. You will lose self confidence and respect.

    You don't really need that. I am sorry that you feel like you need it. I mean, it's okay to try a lot of different things but the way this girl treats you is just awful, even tho you're okay with some of it.
    Again, I don't know how bdsm relationships work out in reality, if it's healthy or not, but I would suggest you doing a introspection. Find that moment in your life where you felt hurt or humiliated and embrace your old self. Forgive yourself for the childhood you had (if it was bad). Assure yourself that you are loved for being you.
    I am afraid if you go on to try "just a few more things" with her you won't be able to get out of it. Don't expose yourself to that brutality. You may lose yourself man. It would be a shame.

    The girl obviously doesn't have any feelings for you. She literally sees you as a paypiggy so there's no chance for anything real with her, it looks like.
    Maybe you could find another girl since you said other girls are interested in you. You could be with someone who truly loves you for you and then when you have a real strong bond with her you could experiment a bit but nothing too deep but again I wouldn't recommend it!

    Love yourself first man! You gotta put yourself first. You are better than this and don't deserve to be treated like that!
    I am sorry if I said something ignorant out of lack of understanding. I truly don't want you to feel bad about yourself in the long run. I also hope that you can find happiness and content within yourself and that you abandon these bad habits that you have.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2020
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  2. ankith

    ankith Fapstronaut

    Dude, I don't know what advice to give, but first of all she is toxic and you know it, cut her off. how you ask?

    Stop giving her money, don't meet her, tell her you want to quit this lifestyle, though she might be reluctant in beginning she will stop associating with you when you have proven her that you are being serious.

    If you want to continue in this lifestyle, there are other good women out there who do this play for fun for few hours and they don't even take any money. But from what I have read you don't even seem to enjoy this fetish which is straight up a case of paraphilia. Paraphilia must be cured and you should not be around this lifestyle for as much as 5 years after the cure. If not cured this would lead to depression and finally the thing which you wouldn't want to happen.

    Dude, you think you can't come out of this because you have been in this lifestyle for a long time? There are also people like me who is into similar fetishes who also have messed up our lives but have quit everything and are trying to become a better person in life. First of all, get a resolve that you want to quit everything, don't have any second thoughts, that's what makes you quit. Think of this as only way you have in life and that's what made me quit.

    p.s here is my story to get an idea about how addicted I was : https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...by-trying-to-make-a-fantasy-a-reality.271925/ (Trigger warning)
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2020
  3. J707

    J707 Fapstronaut

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    Why do you still think this domination disrespect shit is okay? People have fought for years for equality why would you want a woman to beat you up, I do not understand...and you keep making excuses every reply about how you're using it because you know once you're done you'll do so much better and you will be able to read all the elf help books, and do this and that. You're never going to stop if you keep pushing it into the future. Why don't you make a change now if you really want some fucking help. Why are you on this forum teling us your problems if you're just waiting until the future to change it. Why can't you grab your balls and fucking walk away. That's all you need to do man. You don't need to explain yourself to this woman, jesus christ why would you explain yourself? Why can't you just end it now and then come back here for help, that's the only way you'll be able to be helped. You need to get out immediately so you can get some perspective and see what you were doing to yourself. The future isn't promised, stop saying you're keeping it going because when it does end you'll be ready for it, end it now. I don't understand why it's so hard to understand that for you. You know you're in pain, you expressed it to us. You don't deserve another day of that torment and I feel for you man, you deserve so much better. Just let it go. You know it's making you hate yourself and your life, you know you'd be better off, what do you do this for?
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2020
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  4. ankith

    ankith Fapstronaut

    Thanks for reading this, you seem to have done lot of research too. Well coming to me, it was similar to yours, I didn't have any self esteem, wanted to get a girlfriend, but I would get flustered when I talk with girls, that's why having domme would mean she would initiate things. Well I also wanted to try these fantasies in real life so I compromised for a guy (they are easily available) brainwashed myself that I was a bi so that I would be ok with either gender. you asked about people who do for free??? There are lot of ways to get them, where there is a will there is a way, you just have to try in that direction. Like I said in my story about the domme, she messages me even today, she did all that for free just for her pleasure. But this lifestyle is toxic man, I mean in fantasy it seems so awesome but in reality it's different and you already know it by experience. You have already got a job and a career, for me I don't have anything at the moment, that was main reason for me to quit, you also choose something quickly, you know this can't go on forever.
    I deleted the video of my confession part, later though, I felt that my privacy is invaded by it, because I would most probably would become a lecturer in future and if any of my student finds it in youtube, it's gonna set a bad example to them. And I have lost motivation to do more videos after joining Nofap community as I am able to reach out to more people over here than over there. so please don't mind about it.
     
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  5. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    So update. Today she had some issues at work, so I tried to be supporitve but i got shut down pretty hard...I also made a special gift for her...I told her if i could do anything for her as i knew she´s been stressed out...so she told me if i could pick her up late at night at work...I was like..no....but i thought okay she´s had a tough day..i´ll do this...so i told her...
    So i go pick her up...apparently her gf also was with her, who also has dominated me a bit. And they needed food...so they get their food, ask if i have eaten, i say yes, and they want me to pay...i told them no. The girl i serve told me not to get too close to her and said i do it on purpose..i dont know what she means...even her gf was like "well you´re gonna sit in the car with him in a second...?" She also told me to shut up but in a really harsh way like "shut the fuck up" not like that but another phrase..i was like why are you like this...this is something shes started this whole shut up and being so harsh..

    Anyway we get in my car...and i drive them to her home where they both will sleep/eat...they both sing all the way like they like to songs which they know annoys me but its all in good fun its fun to hear them sing..its cool. i tried asking about her day but got shut down, it was just fine and ok..

    But when we get to her place, i´m like okay i drove you, so i should get some food. I was trying to be cheeky, and her gf even jokinlgy said sure, but this girl just got so angry..so i helped her with her stuff like she told me to...then i again asked for some food, and she was like well i could had gotten my own and if i hadn´t talked back at her i could come in...i think its another bunch of bs excuses as i´m like okay i´ll be very nice and obedient then, just some chips or something..come on something...and she told me to stop begging..andsaid thanks for driving her and like usual shut the door in my face pretty much...her gf who i thought didnt´like me, actually has been kinda sweet to me, and said see you to me with my name too...but this girl i serve...she despies me you..i see it so clearly...so i really appreciate all the replies.

    So I just texted her if i still needed to drive her on friday to which she said yes if it still suits me, i said sure, in a positive way, but also said that I have something important to tell her which we need to talk about.

    So I´ll lay it all on the table how I´m feeling, that I´ve become very sad, and how i feel she despies me and is bothered by me, how she doesnt want me close or inside, and how it seems i´m annoying her...and tell her that it seems we started to bother each other and i want to fix this, despite everybody telling me to drop this...as i really do like her, and do have alot of fun but it just seems small things are bothering both of us - and i want to get it all out so we can get it fixed and end this fighting...and i want to do it now, as i dont want this to go on otherwise, it´s meant to be fun and not like this...So i´ll tell her that, and ask her what it is i can do or is doing that annoys her, and what i need to do.

    Usually you dont ask a girl what you need to fix - you need to be a man and know that yourself. So i´ll tell her what i think it is.

    I´ll try and do it in a calm voice, relaxed and collected. I tried this evening to take back control but now instead of saying i talk back she said im provoking her, thats good info because that means she really dont like me teasing her...like if i touched her hair she´´ll punish me hard...its a classic move to do it so you can get to be dominated...thats why i ruined so many relationships by pissing off my gf´s or girl friends so they´d be harsh on me..stupid...i know..

    But last time i did she said she´d like shock me on max like 100 times and i better had spread my legs to get ballbusted..she forgot about it tho...but i dont want domination out of her being angry with me..then she´ll cut me off..

    But i need to tell her everything tommorow without sounding too needy. I hope it works, i dont like stuff like this but i gotta do something. So its a step in the right direction - so in 24 hours or so its either fully over and done and ive tried, or hopefully we´ve talked some things out.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2020
  6. ankith

    ankith Fapstronaut

    Dude there is video in which she says to do whatever you feel like doing in the first 5 seconds you get the thought.

    , with this rules, I am sure your plan will succeed
     
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  7. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    Oh I love her!!! I try to use that everyday when getting out of bed! She´s such an intelligent woman! Absolute fire!
    Another related thing is to start often on projects, as getting started is the hardest part, so like tell yourself to just work for 15 minutes, and if you want to stop after that, stop. But often then 9 times out of 10 you will want to continue to work after those 15 minutes, and the one time you do want to stop, you can just stop. It really works. Its so fascinating also how our brain is meant to keep us safe and happy, so we will NEVER feel like it like she says. That was a huge wake up call. As I spent years waiting to feel like it, that one day i´d be the man i should be.

    I also heard from elite soldiers that they are taught that you should go with your gut, your first instincts as its more often than not right beausew you haven´t had time ot doubt yourself or second guess, it´s like the subconsious power harnessed. Talking of that some great books is the compound effect, 80/20, fastlane, and think and grow rich - really amazing books! Mel Robbins you posted here is such an inspiration.

    I will use that. And I will also not anymore tease or provoke the girl i serve, i´ll not even talk and say that if thats it, as i noticed she notices if i dont talk as i usually talk 24/7. Again today though i could see how she looked at me...i feel stupid kicking her foot as a way of a hug when she hugs others too...

    Anyway tommorow, I´ll talk to her. I´d like to do it face to face but a phonecall is fine. I´ll just be completely honest and also say i care about her i think - that way i´ve focused on fxing it and not to start a fight. And then let it all out - and say i want to fix this so we can keep going like we used to...I do really think there wont be friendship i totally see that she doesnt wanna hang out with me...but i still think possibly there is the chance of me being her slave and if im super obedient and she feels happy to get to do the fun stuff as well - i noticed she has alot of moods and when shes in a great mood things flow and we can tease and have fun - like we used to -- so i´ll see what happens. I do have a feeling she will just be like "what now" and thats why she called me just now...

    But we´ll see. I´ll use the 5 second rule...I sort of also think its good like - i started doing the.."Well you already thought about it, now you gotta do it," like if you wanna compliment someone do it, if you wanna ask or say something...do it - and if we hesitate, even more reason to do it. Sort of fits with this 5 second rule.

    I just hope I can somehow turn her from despiing me into enjoying hanging out with me...it feels so weird that her gf i only recently met actually seems to kinda like me andshe has so much fun with this domination too but it seems way more light hearted and fun..it seems like how it was with this girl in the beginning...I hope we can go back to that, but i think its good if i tell her that if we cannot, then i dont wanna do this anymore.
     
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  8. Hmm I read all your thread and have a lot to say. But jumping to the last part, I think trying to "talk sense" into her is wrong at this point. She's been getting her way for a while now already, so there's nothing for you to fix. She was getting what she wanted, right? but that's the thing. As humans, we don't appreciate easy things. If we can easily get what we want, that thing loses its value and we lose respect for it. You said it yourself, she just doesn't respect you anymore. Because of that, she doesn't value what you do, and she feels that you don't deserve sympathy and everything was "your own" choice. So even occasionally if she feels like you're doing a good job, she doesn't appreciate it, she just gets irritated. Imagine you have a coworker that you don't respect and think he's a piece of shit. Imagine him doing a great job. Are you gonna appreciate it or are you gonna get irritated? This might explain why she's so angry.
    You must also consider that girls generally are vicious at arguments since they are not physically as strong as guys. She's gonna cling to anything she can, she might even lie just to seem like a victim and make it your fault. The way I see it, since she just doesn't respect you anymore, she hates the fact that you're so useful to her, and this makes her angry. She wants more from you and less things to give you cause she thinks her value is much more than you.
    Based on the things that you said, it doesn't seem like there's anything you could do to "make" her respect you. You can't convince someone, especially a girl, to respect you only with words and promises. Threatening her that you'd leave would just make her more irritated. The way she sees it, you became her slave willingly so you have no right to protest.
    The best thing you could do right now is to take a break. Don't tell her that she's been abusing you. (She was of course but wasn't that what you wanted anyway?) Don't make it about her. Don't even say that she seemed irritated with your presence. Bitchy girls don't like a smart ass. Just make it about yourself. All you should say is that things (by things I mean in general, not specifically with her) are not going the way that you expected in your life and you need a week for yourself to reflect on your personal life and make some [very] important life decisions. That is it. Don't even bring her into the equation. The more you talk the worse it gets, cause you'll just give her grounds to attack you and get angry at you. If she got angry, don't argue with her. This is very important to you, you have to do it and there is no way around it.
    Don't ask her for support and don't ask her to understand. Don't say that you're sorry that she feels angry. This is about you not about her. If she even pretends that she cares about you, she should understand. This way, you get some respect, and you buy yourself some time and get to try how it is to be without her for a week so you can make good decisions about what you wanna do with your life.
    Worst case scenario she will tell you that she doesn't want to see you again, but trust me. She will go no where far. In the next week that you're not contacting her, she will tell all of her friends about what happened between you two and I guarantee all of her friends will take your side. After a week you can always text her and ask if she is up for talking and she will be.
     
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  9. ankith

    ankith Fapstronaut

    Exactly man, she is a lost case, for people who are addicted to that costly living, if you tell them that 'you might wanna cut short on expenses' would make them angry. She is treating him like a piece of shit, she is never gonna change her mindset unless he is a life partner or a husband. If he doesn't serve her or give her money, she would go leech off money from some other. If he tells her that her behaviour has been offensive or take it for granted (now or a week later), she might change her behaviour and apologize for being a bi*ch, but after few weeks their lifestyle would again revert back to the original state, to where she was being abusive, but mind you, she is definitely going to escalate things this time. This is what happens in every abusive relationships. This just the other way around (girl abusing a boy). So my opinion is to leave her forever.
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2020
  10. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for taking the time. I know it´s alot, but I wanted to give as many details as possible to minimise chance of misunderstanding.
    I sent her the message yesterday and right away she called me, I didn´t pick it up that late, and then this morning she texted me some more items she wanted...Felt like a test, so I just evaded it a bit, and acted like nothing telling her I had found a pair of her socks I forgot to give her, and that I´d give it to her when see her and then clean her makeup brushes like she told me to, so hoped she wouldn´t punish me for that mistake.

    Then she called me here today. I felt a bit nervous, but chose to pick up, my usual happy voice and chit chat, and then went for it. I told her I wanted us to meet up, not take it on the phone but meet face to face, grab some food and talk. Tommorow or saturday, I know shes off this weekend from workk, and got plans to see a guy friend and she otld me this weeknd we could try hang out me as a friend but i think she forgot again...All i really want is just be her slave but also do friend like stuff, like hang out and chill - i dont see why thats not possible, but maybe its because im based my experienes from relationships and not this. Still surely you can be a friend and do this, I told her if i tws only slave 24/7 she´d be bored as i´d be like a boring zombie to her... But how she say that sure we talk but its like you talk to any human, so its still not like friends...
    Well anyway, I got told her this wasn´t working, and that she´s so angry with me no matter what I do, that I can see it in her eyes, that I annoy her so much and she doesnt want me there...I told her I dont want it to end in a big fight but it will if we dont talk - so i said again we need to talk face to face, short talk only her and me - she told me i only annoy her when I tease her and talk back like you know act cheeky - I told her i noticed and that it seems its better if i do like in the beginning and will just be a supportive puppy and happy and thanking her, and being her little admirer, which i guess is kinda cute for her. I know that works well, i know from when i was serving an ex gf who liked it..but it ended badly almost same process like this now.

    I told her too that if we dont have this talk and fix this...then I need a break from her...She asked me so "you dont wanna be my slave otherwise anymore?" I told her i do wanna be your slave but we need to talk about this...She sounded very happy like sure we could do that no problem, pretty happy and felt like i talked to her this time like real talk...Felt real. She said she doesnt know when, but i told her tommorow or saturday, she needs to find out a time. Its on her.
    I also said we dont do any fun bdsm stuff, and she just brought up again that I pussied out last time in public when she was in the mood with her gf and told me to spread my legs, i still got shocked alot and they had a ton of fun, and making me their ***** in public, but i did for a split second pussy out as i know it hurts so much to be ballbusted even if i begged for it...i regret that so much as she keeps saying if i hadnt said no maybe more stuff would had happeened maybe then we could had done new stuff....i have said i know and i want a new chance...it just bothers me i have to wait and wait to one day she feels in the mood...I told her we havent done the humiliations we could try you said we could after i fxixed your garden and her excuse again was, not in the mood, too tired. It just bothers me...i get it - i really do - its actually fair what she says, but i just dont wanna spend thousands of dollars and have to wait wait wait..because shit never happened before i pushed it and demanded it - like the shock collar she wasnt too pleased, but i basically told her to just do it and listen to me - and when she did it one time she was in love with it and have been ever since + her gfs - ballbusting too...so i told her you love my ideas..so why not try me new ideas, why should i pay or beg, just try it...a slap? takes 10 seconds, spit on my face? i mean...in 1 hour we could do all my ideas - thats why i said if i should pay her if thats easier so he she makes 4x as much as her job this way...i just dont wanna have to do that...its fake then...but i feel if i need to fine - but then i leave after that.

    I just really wanna do the last humiliations - anything after that is just a bonus, i can see her maybe once a week, maybe serve her a bit, have a bit of fun once in a while - and i no longer would need to do this and that humiliation, it could just be fun + i could focus on being more friend like.
    So I think i actually will demand at least a few humiliation ideas i have - and tell her either we do them or i just dont want anymore, they are some i so badly want - and i will respect her need to be in the mood for anything else but if we dont do these, i just wanna go with someone else then.
    She told me too that next month i could get an economic pause to get back on my feet...i told her but im in debt now...i wanted to try it for you, and she siad yes and you got to, so now you treied that too.
    She said she thought she was a very sweet owner, that she had let me get away with alot, even though ive broken nearly all the rules, and i said yeah..you forgot...as she told me i´d get 100 shocks on max + ballbusting for touching her hair...It also hurts me a bit when i see her lover calling her, or her guy friend just saying "hey lets hang out" and its like "cool sure" and she says how lovely he is....i feel like i can accept it...no friends..pure slavery----but my one demand will be that i still want to be have fun and hang out and do friend stuff, even if im her slave, and i´ll tell her thats also why i bought her her tv and stuff...not do not even get to use it.

    So she didnt sound too excited about me getting to play with her and her guy friend or hang out, and my punishment ideas she said we could talk about when meeting..and she was at the end like "So..thats it? " i told her thats it? what do you mean - yes, we need this talk..and i think she understood im done otherwise - so overall a good happy conversation - i felt like i got into her this time..but still a lot of excuses, and she said shes been sweet to me, and now would give me some leeway economically..
    Personally i was like "lol...im not gonna pay more...not before i see stuff"..even then i nearly spent my whole budget on her - and im not gonna increase that..i got like 2000 dollars left maybe i decided to spend onthis whole experiment..thats it...and that needs to llast the next couple months as i had chosen a date in june to end it...But so far we spent like 7000+ dollars...i dont even have an income really these days, i only got money aside she will never know about.

    So plan now is:

    Meet up - she can let me know when - if not i dont care i wont call her anymore. Its in her courth now.
    Then when meet up i´ll tell it like it is...and i want her to say to me her dream slave for me...and ask if that can include me getitng to hang out with her and have fun sometimes too, i dont think alone will happen thats cool i can accept it and feel ok - but with her friends then sometimes.
    I´ll also say how sad she made me, and how i want things...And then i want us to maybe ideally write down a list of rules. And an agreement of how things need to be for how we both can be happy and how i can get my fun too..I think this could bea new beginning.

    I did tell her in the phone that i had been really sad, and she just told me not to be sad, but thats easy to say...so i will let her know how ive cried and how its affected me. And i think also that i can accept my role, but i will demand my fun + i will demand that we hang out and not only when im used for work - and if she doesnt wanna do that thats cool but i just dont wanna only do the other stuff if she cant try it out with me...im pretty sure if we do hang out, maybe with her friend it´ll work.
    Im almost inclined to ask for her friends numbers next time, the guy friend i met when i was told to pick him up - hes pretty cool, i can talk to him no problem, and he seems to know i do all the work for her, and hes been cool about it all, just find it funny. And her gf who dominates me, shes started being very sweet to me even tho she also loves domming me, but that was my dream, as 2 girls together...magic happens with cruelty vs a slaveboy. But obv thye are on her side and would tell her everything.

    So I think when I meet her, I need to make it perfectly clear how i want things, and let her say how she want things - and then say what i wanna try and if that doesnt happen, i just wont do this anymore...that i want us to be able to care for each other in some way, many D/s relationships do, and if she really truly doesnt care for me or feel she can have fun hanging out with me at times, even if she degradeds/humiliates me, then i dont think we´re ideal.

    She did also say that i make it out to be as if she´ll punish me if i do one mistake...i told her i know you wont, you´re pretty sweet at times, but we just need to talk about this.

    So a step in the right direction--but the funny thing is? I feel like i can leave her, i feel im in control now. I feel like i finally got to really talk to her...So now i just need to really makeup my mind...And im so happy her gf is so sweet to me, even suggetsed they help me with her garden, only thing i didnt like is wen she said i was sick when the girl told her what i had done with her makeup wipes like eating them etc...that pissed me off...even if it is a sick fetish. I just wanna try it one time with her irl. Like a bucket list.

    So I think i´ll do a semi-break. With just much less work for her, and financially well thats none exisitent pretty much now, whichis a fear..as she may cut me off then...but i dont wanna spend more. Also you said it right there - she even said that now..."I actually haven´t done anything you haven´t asked for"...i joked and said well sure..but a ballshocker idea doesnt mean you shock the crap out of me and give it to your gf to dominate me so much - even if it was my dream...Because she can always say i asked for it and justify her behavior -- so i think when i meet up with her - i will need a clear mind - and very short and precise say what i want, what she wants, and take it from there...I just need to be brutally honest and let her see im fine with leaving her and i have other options - take back control so that the last months here can be as enjoyable as possible - and then i can be bored and say ive done itall its just routine now...and leave..its a perfect plan. But if this meeting doesnt work im done - so need to really be well prepared and show her how serious i am and that i want this, but dont need her or this.
     
  11. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    Yep, you can never get respect from a girl by talking, you need action. Like if you want an ex gf back the step by step process is: Respect back - Attraction back - Love back.
    You do that through your manlyness, making her feel feminine, laugh, and using every interaction to build respect for you. Even if girls will be angry with you they can respect you...And its way easier to go from hate to love, than liking to love...I´ve met many girls who´d hate me, i´d piss them off, and boom they´d go into love mode, but if a girl likes you, good luck getting out of the friendzone.
    I think you´re right how i need to do things...Now i´ve given her a call, so next up, is the meeting, and then maybe start saying no to doing things for her, so she´ll see what she misses when im not there to 24/7 drive her and do stuff. And i´ll keep working on myself and de-tach from her.

    Thats so true...I think i need to be brutally honest about it...just like i told her im very rarely wrong and i can see she despises me...i also told her i bought some stuff for myself and she said i was not obeyingher, we agreed i had to ask her for permission as she controls my budget...i told her yeye but i planned you´d allow me...like teasing, being a disobedient little slave for fun...she said it was okay if i paid for the rst of her bed..but paying for thta knowing she´ll fuck on it with another guy and lay on it wiht her friends and sit on it and play playstation on what i bought + the extra controller on a tv i bought...makes me feel sick..so I´ll just not to blame her too much but just say how things need to be or i´m out. Simple.

    Yesh! Glad you pointed that out! I´m in the driver seat. And I think this is what im doing now...i was a bit weak in our phonecall - but when i meet up with her i´ll tell her how i want things, and she can say what she wants - and i will make rules - and if she doesnt agree with how i want things and can feel good about it - then im out. I need to tell her this and be very upfront and demanding of how i want things. I will suggest my new idea of trying to be a slave 24/7 live in for 1-2 days, like either sleep and be locked in her shack outside, or inside, and say i can be quiet and not like i usually am - just to try it, it´d be a great oppertunity..but i wouldnt want a fuck guy to come over...

    I think she can feel her losing control...She reminds me alot of my ex gf who i served but failed after annoying her...she one day when i served her said i was the stupidest person she ever met...and i just told her to never say that again - but if she did, then she could go talk to her ex bf´s or find a new guy and all her friends - she could do that to them, all she likes. But not me. Never again. I didnt ask her to stop, i told her she wont do this again. A statement.

    Not only did she try act as if i was overreacting, but she quickly apologized, and even after that when we talked she kept saying how sorry she was...she respected me and was very sweet to me...its just annoying you gotta do this with girls...proving your manlyness 24/7...girls shittest is to weed out insecure guys thats fine, but it can get tiresome.

    This site also perfectly explains how you should never deal with disrespect with women - and its so true. I think i need to use this even on the girl who "owns" me.

    Its called "never deal with disrespect from women level 1" if you search on google great site to read about it.
     
  12. J707

    J707 Fapstronaut

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    Why is a woman controlling your budget bro? It’s your own money, do you not have a job? You work for it dint you? You keep saying all this intelligent stuff about 5 second rules and yadada but you don’t even follow that yourself. I’m proud you’re slightly doing something and taking your masculinity back but you’re still doing this. She has absolute 0 respect for you, she most likely hates aspects of her life and the ONLY reason you are around is so you can pay for expenses, and she can take her anger out on you. You will never be her friend, or someone she loves, or even sees as another human being. You’ve lost total respect from this submissive behavior and you’re just a bank for her. She doesn’t even want to touch you. But you think talking magically will fix things, you think if you tell her you cried? That’s not doing anything but make you look like a desperate beggar which is what you’re being right now. You were saying you’d be fine but now you’re trying to set conditions to stay?...you’re NOTHING to her. She only smiled when you told her that sad story about taking her back bc she knows you’re weak and she’ll play the game at first and switch right back because she has total control over your existence on this Earth. Do you tell your family about this? I don’t know how you keep something like this secret. You’re getting older every day and wasting your life away on this horrible stuff. Wtf is “ball busting” Why is anyone doing that to you man. You need to get a grip of yourself because we are all telling you how this will end. I see that you’re trying but you can’t give any more chances man. We can clearly all see wats going to happen. This is so sad dude
     
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  13. J707

    J707 Fapstronaut

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    I’d be nice to you too if you were paying for all my stuff. Of course you are worthless to her so she’s going to go back to the regular behaviors soon enough. I’m going to ask you something. Do you have any younger siblings? Maybe a mom, or a dad, or someone who cares about you truly in this life. Who calls and check up and who just wants the best for you in life. There’s no possible way you can do this crazy shit to yourself if that is so. If not live for yourself live for them, live for what matters in life. This is truly insane and you’ll never escape making excuses.

    you always include some website that tells men how to not be disrespected or rules to listen to yourself or stand up for yourself but that’s just your excuse to feel like you know what’s going on or you’re doing something. You’re not doing anything to help yourself and you are being disrespected in every way possible. Maybe once she runs off with all the money she’s used of yours when you finally get too annoying to her to even spend one more second around you then maybe you will spend the money to repair your busted balls and your broken heart and you’ll sit back and realize wow “I really fucked up, I wasted all this time doing this horrible deed for someone who never once cared about me. I wanted a girlfriend so much I settled for someone who’d abuse me horribly in every way just so that I could feel some attention or some love, but in fact it was always fake and now I find myself even more depressed than before” I’m not leaving another message here because this is desperately sad and I feel it’s going to depress me even reading another message. I’m not sure if you’re religious but may god truly bless your soul I wish you all the best.
     
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  14. I agree with J707. In some way Kilrunio's thoughts sounds illogically. Speaking about logic, I would like to claim that women's logic is different than men, so perhaps predicting of her acts is useless. But maybe it doesn't matter, because it looks that your "this girl" is stupid af. And I don't understand exactly what do you want from her. Respect, but to remain a slave? Do you understand how stupid that sound? You have set such rules from the beginning. If you want respect, stop acting like a slave right now. If you read similar stories on the internet everything right now is evolving in the same pattern and you won't change it.
     
  15. J707

    J707 Fapstronaut

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    You seem like you're slowly coming to your senses. I believe in you, good luck my friend.
     
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  16. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    I think so. I think I´m thinking more realistically now and not in my fairytale dream scenario. So thank you so much, it really helps with so many kind and gnerous intellignet people willing to help out. It means the world. If karma exists then what goes around I hope comes around so wish the best, and really appreciate it and would like to help too!
    I´m also now considering just telling her i can´t drive her tommorow morning that something has come up, just to get out of the boring tasks that she is so used to that i do for her, besides when she can drive herself and has a car she wont need me for that anyway. So being selfish now seems the right move even if it contradicts the whole "wanna do anything for you and always obey, you think only abou tyourself, and me only you, and its all about everything to you and the least to me" yeah...ive done that. Time to even the playing field just a bit.
     
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  17. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

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    So another update: I sorta quit out of driving her as we agreed to and made something up, also since she still haven´t gotten back to me when we should talk face to face, even though i kno wishes off the entire weekend. I know and its fine if she has other stuff to do and wanna see people sure, but surely she can find time. Also dont wanna give her the chance to just talk in the car.

    I also thought about it...and I think yeah..it makes sense why she can´t respect me. She has her friends and fwb/bf and I´m just her pay piggy, her slave. How could she want to spend time with me or hang out, with a guy she humiliates and degrades and is so submissive...Theres zero value from me, i´m like that needy in love guy sorta. No value.
    Though isn´t it interesting? We can spend thousands of dollars, do so many chores, errands, work, spending so many hours, days even day after day slaving away - and yet we mean less than the friend they rarely see or just sometimes? I mean i get it thats how things work - but its just seems..off..If a friend of hers gave her money she´d be estatic. Or if they helped...like her friends get away easy if they mess up or doesnt od a task right, im told its my job anyway...

    I heard about this - where lets say a friend of yours gave you 10 dollars each day for no reason, he just does, and he does so for 50 days straight. Then on day 51 he has nothing for you. Wouldn´t you feel something is missing? What if he gave you 5? It´d feel better but still...meh...But what if he had never given you anything, and on that day just said "Hey I found 10 dollars on the road laying around, here you can have it" You´d be like "wow really? thanks man" - i know thats how it works but it seems...wrong...Its the whole thing about we get used to it...just like how we crave higher dopamine levels and more extreme porn from fapping.

    So overall i can definitely accept it and understand why....it does make me want to quit and show her in a couple years who the real boss is...as it bothers me she wont listen to my advice when i know i can help her...or how she gets the same advice from other people etc...

    I think a new option is to if she doesnt cut me off..to try and be her pet and suggest that, so still slave but also fun, a middle thing, or being her *****. Just so i can maybe hang out sometmes...and then maybe really lower the time i spend with her so she can spend tons of time with her friends so if i hang out with them and her sometime it wont seem like a biggie. But her and me alone yeah that wont happen. Only for chores.

    Some sick way of me wants me to explore how much she can despise me how much she can lose respect for me...Like the live in slave thing..She does seem to have gotten used to all the sick/extreme things - like she sooo casually explained to her gf how i love her makeup wipes as it has touched her face, or her gloves shes worn etc. Its the symbolism. And it seems like she doesnt go like eww, she just says sure we can try that - with the whole being a garbage can, and she comes with ideas like me being a table or waving her when its hot etc. So natural..I think this is because now its so natural for her, so it doesnt suprise her.

    It really is fascinating how we can train people. You can train your gf into being extra sweet/submissive too, or to dress a certain way just by giving compliments or special attention when someone does something..I´ve always believed people can be trained like dogs, and it seems true...This girl i serve does say shes like a cat and it makes sense. The whole let them come to you, dont over shower them with attention.

    Anyway now im not gonna drive her, and if she gets mad so what...Need to take a stand and get a good talk with her and fix things...and if it ends now and shes like oh well hes done enough then so be it...i will still if need be sorta wave the money in her face even if i wont buy her stuff right now just to lure her in if need be...but i hope our talk can be enough. We´ll see.
     
  18. When I read your first post I thought you were here to quiet femdom. In my previous post, I was suggesting that you buy yourself some time to make a well thought decision on whether you really wanna abandon femdom or not. But it seems like you have no desire of leaving it behind. You're just unhappy with your relationship with the girl, cause it's not going your way and you just want relationship advice on that. Nofap is more like a rehabilitation website rather than a relationship advising one; so you might not find the answer that you're looking for here. As you can see everyone is encouraging you to leave her not because that's necessarily in your best interest. but because this is just the nofap community. We're trying to get away from those shits. Either way, I'll just tell you how I dealt with femdom personally:

    I know a lot of people here say you need to walk away but I completely understand how it might be for you. I've had femdom fetishes since I was 5 and I lived with it quiet a while. The thing with me was that, from an early age, I noticed that when I got angry, all the femdom thoughts would just disappear. One thing that made me angry was getting bullied and being punished unfairly. It didn't matter who it was, once I felt that I was being taken advantage of, I'd just lose my temper and wouldn't stand back to punish the person who did it to me. This is why I never practiced femdom in real life. I knew that if I practice femdom and the other party pushes the boundaries too much, all the pleasure would immediately disappear, and hate and resentment for her, as well as myself, would replace it.

    *Trigger warning for the next paragraph*:

    ***I thought a lot about a world where the men are all slaves and women are in charge. In that world I don't have to make a decision, so I don't have any responsibility. All I have to do is obey my mistress. If I do the job right, she would reward me, if I do it wrong or I don't do it to the best of my ability, she would punish me. She would be sadistic, but at the same time, she would give me her attention and love too and she would never be unfair. Cause if she be unfair, I would just get angry and we would have problems. Also she must not hate or dislike me. Also no other man should be superior to me in that world in anyway. I don't bow to any other fucking man.
    It was not until recently that I realized how selfish my idea of being a slave is. You see, once I agree to be a slave to somebody, I'm supposed to become a property. I'm supposed to give up all my rights and boundaries. If I become a slave AND at the same time create boundaries, basically I'm not a slave anymore. I'm just getting all my [twisted] emotional needs satisfied. But what is the mistress getting in return? Here's what she gets:
    She's responsible for this being (me) who is physically superior to her. I'd do anything for her physically, but in return, she's supposed to satisfy my emotional needs. And if she doesn't do it right, she's risking my rebellion and possibly my retaliation. She's also not allowed to have any alpha male around.***


    You see the problem with this fantasy? This fantasy is focused on me. It works only one way. Only my desires and needs are taken into account. Fantasies don't work in real life, and a meaningful relationship in which you're a "slave" don't work either. In reality, relationships only work when both parties can negotiate. You must take into account that:
    - You can't negotiate if she doesn't respect you.
    - You can't negotiate when you don't have something to offer
    - When you become a slave, you're basically giving up your right to negotiate.

    Also we need to take into account the biology and psychology of the females. Biologically speaking, sex is very costly for girls. They have to carry the baby for 9 months and the birth of the child itself poses a huge risk to the mother's health. Because of that, a healthy woman chooses her mate carefully. And bad news for us, naturally they are attracted to dominant guys. If you look at your genetic, you have two times more female ancestors than you have male ancestors. Meaning through out history, on average, a female had one baby. On the other hand, in every two males, one of them had two children and the other had no children. This means that 50% of the males that ever existed failed at finding a mate while other 50% had two mates.

    This is when I realized if I ever want to have a meaningful relationship with a girl, and if I want a girl to be really attracted to me, there's just no room for femdom in my life. I'm totally okay with powerplay and doing kinky shit, but only in the privacy of my bedroom and to an extent that she wouldn't lose respect for me.

    A lot of the things that you describe is like a dream come true but like you mentioned it yourself, reality is not as pleasant as a dream. Like licking dirt tastes like dirt... it doesn't taste good at all. Beside femdom, I've had lots of other fantasies. Like winning $10 million in a lottery or being able to fly, or going to war and killing 500 of the enemies just by myself. Reality just doesn't work that way and I had no choice but to accept it. So after years of struggle, I finally made a decision. I decided to leave femdom completely behind. I decided to take full responsibility for whatever this decision brings with itself and I was going to carry the burden of knowing that I will never experience the wild fantasies that I once had.
    (For those of you who are curious on my progress you can check out my thread: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/lost-my-virginity-femdom-cured-time-to-finish-this.265807/)

    The reason that up there I said leaving her might not be at your best interest, is because the way she's acting is expected based on the information that you gave here. The girl is abusing you, yes. But you're no victim. To me you seem like an intelligent person and I think you know exactly what you got yourself into. Right now you just want to negotiate and she's reluctant to do it for obvious reasons. I suspect that even if you leave this girl, you'll find another girl to try "one last few things" and the cycle starts all over again. I don't see anything wrong with that lifestyle. I myself might have chose that if I had another life. You do what you wanna do. But just don't come out here and complain that a girl that shocks your balls doesn't respect you and doesn't wanna be your friend. Again, this is a rehabilitation website. Not a femdom couples counseling. Nofap community will always have your back as you can see from all the comments, so will I. But please man, if you don't want rehabilitation, you shouldn't come out here with a story full of triggers. At least that's my opinion.

    Good luck brother
     
  19. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    One has to wonder where all this will end? Golddiggers have been around for as long as I remember, and vial women shamefully using damaged men, but it really seems to have gone over the top now. Way past strippers fleecing customers and girls getting drinks bought for them, and it seems society is more accepting of it now as well.

    OP should know the old adage if you give an inch they will take a mile. Have nothing to do with people like that. I only glanced over your post's OP, but if you won't give your money to an ugly woman, a guy or a homeless person. Keep in mind that most likely your mistress is ugly too without her makeup, and most certainly is in the morning, she stinks and has just as many germs as the ugly woman and sounds like she is a complete piece of human garbage. It won't be long till your money is going to her drug dealer anyways so you could skip a step and just give it to him, help support all the scum of society.

    I don't want to berate you as this fetish works on low-esteem, shame, and psychologically damaged people. But you got to flee this living death you're caught up in. Not only stop giving her your money but see if you can get your money back. And no I don't mean asking her for it, lol. Stop wasting money on crap overpriced junk which is what you are buying for this @#### and what she spends it on.


    *** possible triggers in song youtube video**

     
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  20. Dude! 1 thing... and only one. When you "try one last thing" with her you're only digging a deeper hole. CLIMB OUT OF IT dude!
     
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