Extreme real life story - femdom/findom slavery to a girl addiction - *Possibly triggering story !*

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Kilrunio, Apr 22, 2020.

  1. WhiteLion

    WhiteLion Fapstronaut

    61
    50
    18
    Volunteer at a cat shelter. You can do unpleasant free work for pussy that you can annoy into attacking you there, but this time you will be doing some good for the world. You can not force someone to care if they don't.
     
    Roady likes this.
  2. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

    90
    66
    18
    Sorry I forgot to get back to you.
    Its impressive you do cold approach, did you start with challenges? I heard like try first say hi to pretty girls like 5,then have a conversation etc etc. Its super impressive, and usuaully the girl you really wanna talk to comes when you dont feel ready, maybe good idea to just do cold approach with girls you´re not into aswell?
    - Yeah I´ll send it to you in private message.
    - Work out at home, no corona excuse!
    - I wanna apologize here, that came off wrong, you´re right i did not mean to put it like just do this and that - ive heard the struggles of shorter guys, even saw a disgusting video an old one where women just laughed at the guy no sympathy, just makes you feel like those bitches should be pumped and dumped and fk their emotions. Disgusting hoes. Made me so angry. I think the good thing is your game is probably better or will be plus when you got that right girl she will be all over you, ive seen this so often where the girl who is right for them is just sooo much better than all these standard glamour bitches.

    - Northern scandinavia what about you?
    - I guess i feel every girl is kinky, most just havent explored it or heard of it. I just met them wherever and then found the kinyk stuff later - i think its just about exploring and having fun, not necessarily have to be kinky frm the start, maybe they haven´t heard of it.
     
    Stp890 likes this.
  3. Feitan

    Feitan New Fapstronaut

    3
    6
    3
    Interesting story you’re living man..
    here is my opinion..

    -waiting to run out of ideas is the same as forever bro.. ideas are not finite

    -when the time comes, and you want that smooth transition from The “ultimate slave” experience to the Divine being you are.. I suggest you read ‘The Alter Ego Effect’ it will help with that part
     
    Kilrunio likes this.
  4. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

    90
    66
    18
    Thank you for the book suggestion! Really enjoy books like those, will look into it!
     
    Feitan likes this.
  5. zaba99

    zaba99 Fapstronaut

    84
    40
    18
    -Scandinavia! lol the region with most empowered women on earth, well i am right under you, Deutschland
    Well, good luck on your journey brah ;)
     
    Ὀρφεύς and Kilrunio like this.
  6. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

    90
    66
    18
    Haha isn´t it pretty much the same for germany there? I live above you, Denmark to be exact.
    and yeah true, I heard lots are tired of too many demands. I´m not sure though, sure more rights more empoered yeah, but the overall traits I think fits.
    I actually heard some nice thnks about russia + from girls i talked to there, like that they have a lack of men but more women, so every woman is insanely beautiful, and that they are very tradtitional so men pays for dates, and for everything even if they lack money, but that its okay because the women on the other hand spend money on nails, hair, makeup to look good.

    Im curious if those countries also the poorer polish, and eastern countries if they got the same as we got here in northern europe/germany - would their behaviour change too, is it really all fundamental like how we act etc.

    I mean humans can be trained like dogs to be honest, let them have leash and they´ll run wild, punish/reward works well. Let someone disrespect you and they´ll do it again and more this time etc.

    I heard from pickup you shouldn´t brag here not about money or power - its more about connections - while in the USA its more about status - that Todd guy you showed me, he mentioned that I remember. My own personal thought is Im not sure it really matters, I dont feel ive seen any difference between english american, german, swedish, danish girls when i talked to them, but who knows. There may be some overall things that affects most, if girls are treated a certain way the entire life of course.
    Germany is very nice, some good girls there. I do feel however up here we´re behind in alot of areas, its funny you said germany since that may be my favorite country just from a historical perspective and how insanely efficient you guys are...can be bombed to pieces twice and still be way ahead of us, it´d be fun to see pick up in germany I don´t think ive ever seen that, I think my german is also way too rusty haha, but i´d be fun to see you or a good pick up guy, maybe there are some cultural things to beware of when approaching.

    Do you like to approach girls in special settings by the way? Like i haven´t done it...too much of a pussycat, but i´d love to try approach girls in a coffee shop, bookstore, just a mall, but i chicken out always, ive met lots of girls running too but ive been told its rude to stop them - but like Todd says - even if something is needy or bad, sometimes its your only way.

    And as a good saying about pickup from chase said - if you dont approach,then sure, you dont´bother the girls who wouldn´t had liked you anyway, but by not apporaching you´re both bohtering yourself, plus the girls who would had liked your approach, so it makes it so obvious what to choose. I like that mindset. But i´m a total newbie haha, you sound like you got a good head on your shoulders.
     
    zaba99 likes this.
  7. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

    90
    66
    18
    So just wanna do a final update on this now its all over and I haven´t spoken to her for some time.

    What a waste of time. Guys, it may be fun for healthy stuff or with a gf or some crap but this whole thing...I wasted a shitload of money, and was completely and utterly humiliayted amnd despised by this girl, fun times sometimes sure sure, but overall...Angry, punished, and no mercy at the end for mistakes even though it ws my fault and can understand...anyway my point is - the more distance the more stupid i feel.

    Thank YOU to everyone who has replied and helped me. I feel stupid, but now I feel I can go forward, I got a lot of money to earn back, and I´m building up my body, my mind and my life and I´m now talking to friends again and going for girls. And nofap is going strong.

    So in the end I will win and use this. But fkn hell...i swear i feel just as stupid as when i had a fat ugly chick make me spend money on her and i got totally screwed over by her...felt completely wasted....

    Whatever these people and her firneds and all the people shes laughed at me at thinks or what she thinks as shes laughed at me too like she even admitted to me...who cares.
    They can all come get it if thats it - I will outwork and out hustle them all.

    I am lucky to have had so many generous kind and helpful people on here - If I one day can give back to you and I meet you or can do something, I hope I can help you. I always want to give back.

    Once again thank you, chapter and adventure closed. What a waste of 3 months of my life, time energy and money...and the money...oh crap...i caclculated i spent around like 70-80 usd or so per day on her, in average...i could had helped so many people and been with so many sweet girls wh oi could had dated or improved myself.

    Findom truly is BS, and slavery like this is stupid. You´re better than this - its some short cut to a gf, as i know as i got super attached to this girl, and ive cried and ive bene in so much pain..but my issues? they are nothing compared to other people.
    Maybe i pissed her off because reality is i had a hard time finding an exit strategy myself, even if i ruined it in the worst way possible i feared would happen like with other girls...so stupid to poke her and piss her off until she cut me off, poke her may seem harmless but she was furious, and then me being idsobedient..its like i always hesitated to go full slave mode...i had so man ychances to live my total femdom dream - and i still hesitated at times....last time saw her i was in the ocean swimming to entertain her, freezing, it wasnt too bad but still..and had drinks poured on me...i even however zapped her back..not good, but ye..and got her gf to dislike me..bad idea...and then calledher like a desperate guy beggingto pay and do stuff for her - nothing..no mercy..and our mutal friend stopped talking to me too..

    i didnt want it to end bad, she doesnt think it ended badly..ofc not..pretty much now shes finally settled i bought her everything + her house garden shack is done...now im out..perfect for her..it´ll be hard being so close to her like just 15 min but is what it is...never got her to pay for a bit not even the money i thought she´d give me back after i was overspent...anyway is what it is.

    I´m going to end it here, thank you once again. And fk me i did all this - i chose this - but i also now choose, to win, i´m gonna go work now! Thank you everyone for the help!
    I´ll not be updating this anymore, its over.
    Out.
     
    zaba99 likes this.
  8. WhiteLion

    WhiteLion Fapstronaut

    61
    50
    18
    I am concerned that by introducing her to this slave thing, she will now so on to exploit others. You spent over 70 dollars a day on this woman and gave her free labour. What did she have to do to get that? Put up with you? She is going to realize what a good deal she had and I can only hope that she does not find easily exploitable people who do not know any better.
     
    Kilrunio likes this.
  9. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

    90
    66
    18
    WhiteLion,
    I respect you a lot, and you´ve helped me very much. I very much appreciate that, and I wish I could help you too, if one day I can, I will. We never knows what happens in life. But I´ve always taken pride in taken care of my own and people who deserve it. One day sometime somewhere someplace, maybe we´ll meet or I´ll be able to help you too. I just want to say this.

    This said...Yes...I thought of that too...I´ve tried to not think about it...But the thing is I´ve reflected a lot...I did find my dream owner girl...I kept testing, acting like friends, teasing, doing stuff to keep value, when I should had entered full slave mode.
    I remember when she said..I thought she joked...she told me "If I´m gonna have a slave he better obey, otherwise it´s no fun"...I thought we were joking back then. But she actually used the words, slave, mistress/owner...I´d never use those as it´d risk she thinking of me as a freak...But what I realized is like when she said wé´ll never be friends.
    I was NOTHING to her, but a slave. her girlfriend even last day told me I wasn´t a man. She couldn´t believe me thanking this girl for hitting me and how lucky I was to feel her prertty hands and fingers..I was even willing to shit in a diaper like this girl wanted me to...never got to...but if we had continued..I´d had been doing that...
    I now know - I was her slave. This was not a game nor experiment or fantasy - this really happened...And I first now realize wtf ive done all the money i spent all the stuff we´ve done...I told her i´ll not go find a new girl with this - but you know whats scary?....I know i said i´d quit...but i had thoughts of..well..maybe i really can serve her forever as her slave..maybe this is my place...i guess all my childhood and stuff and femdom now got me to this...
    Now I too fear she´ll try this with another guy - she told me from the start other people have offere edtheir paycheck..I fear she may be a twitter domme sometime - she told me one of her girlfriends also has a slave that she has had for a year...
    I hope I have not triggered any guy into this and I hope noone will fall victim..its no fun spending so much money, i got totally killed financially - she iddnt care, she didnt believe it - she just spent and spent even when i tried to stop it, or asked her to pay for just some...sure she gave food/treats when she were happy, and paid some stuff herself..but yeah...it was not good..spending 3000-4000 dollars a month when i barely make any profit now...

    Lion..Do you think I can stop this? I´ve been thinking of maybe taking contact to her again...I know when I put my foot down. I got her respect. When I told her enough is enough. She stopped. I trained her, made her, Ive done it wiht ex gfs...I fixed stuff...I almost feel this is the same...Maybe i can still do something. Right now we havent talked for a week and i assume shes furious at me - but maybe i can contact her, get back - and maybe i can from there work to make her get out of it? Like when i told her i cried/were sad she told me not to - and when she saw i was sad, she comforted me and was worried..So i know shes still good..but i do fear...because shes hit me in the face because i poked her/pissed her off by touching her leg which she told me not to...so ye i was the worst slave like her gf said...we were meant to have a great day and all i did mess it up..that was my second chance after last time being a pussy.

    The worst fear is...i hope noone will die...because if she gets a new guy...i hope he will think of safety...Last day, she got me to jump in the occean, it was very cold. She told me to swim out in the occean into a blue spot....it felt so scary...it was cold..what if i got cramps and died? i didnt..i swam back it was in those "winter bathing spots" - she told me i didnt obey her...i was so messed up i went out again...this time until she said stop..still thinking of my health...but when i got back she told me i did it but i walked more than swimming. And told me also to be completely under the water...
    If she can get me to that -im a giant pussy with most things....i fear for other guys...especially since if i did it again i´d obey her no matter what. I´d piss and shit myself and do anything she´d tell me to...

    The thing is i only obey if people tell me DO THIS - THAT WAY NOW!!! or "do this, find out how to" - but when she´d say drink from a puddle if im thirsty - i dont do it - i need a specific order but she was like "i already said so", but for me i saw it as an option...i also shocked her back..she punished me hard for that...
    And i know shes been using drugs i think and had problems + huge temper...and knows some bad people...so yeah..i dont know...i hope noone will do it with her that way..
    But do you think i can stop her? I know her friend whos now my friend too - we planned to meet up - hes very good friends wit her - he´s the one who calmed her when she´d be upset with me.

    because this girl can be very unfair...she tells you to bring her food - and she´ll be so pissed if you got trouble finding it, same for her gf...ungrateful...you do so much and all you get is shit? even as a slave thats just a stupid domme...a domme shuld want a good health slave - train them - not just be mad...so yeah...
    Anyway if you think i can do something - i will try - i can try contact her and see - but i for the first time feel...free..like she said im free...i do miss her - but im back on track now - also i talked to another girl whos into this - and she was PIIIIIIIIISED at this girl for how she was and how shes been acting - she even guessed how yung she was etc..so theres smart girls and just girls who will use you like this girl did me.

    I still chose this - i just saw her potential and i do really fear i made a monster now.... i kinda dont like you said that...because thats what i fear...can i do something to stop it?
     
  10. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

    90
    66
    18
    Btw unrelated i noticed i did this with tons of girls, gfs, friends that are girls - id piss them off and they´d cut me off -- i noticed that im very sweet in the beginning, i do whatever i have to do - then when i feel comfy - i think i earned it - bonus points like i said to her - thats not how it works - + maybe shes been abused - so me poking her leg7touching her hair/zapping her - she never siad yes to that + im an asshole.

    Thats something good though - i learned now - and ive been talking to friends and trying to do good things - so something good did come out of this :) Just wanna say that! I learned ALOT.about how to treat people - and i also learned i should had used a stop word like a friend said, and used more communication to protect myself and to make sure we were both happy.

    Some people can do this fine - with respect, for fun - it always has to be fun like a girl said to me when it becomes anything else thats when things should end..like this did - because im an idiot - its good it stopped but i wished i had ended it and in a better way than this - i did try toi pis s her off afte rall so she´d be cruel to me..stupid and selfish. not a slave but a selfish guy whos an asshole - its true - but that wont happen again.

    I´ll also try to help other guys by avoiding this if i see them.

    What would you do to stop this girl exploit others?
     
  11. WhiteLion

    WhiteLion Fapstronaut

    61
    50
    18
    If she does go the Twitter domme path, or anything like that, then she will be a public person and you should make it known what kind of person she is to others.

    The problem is that she is not going to treat you seriously. You might always be the guy who begged her to kick him in the balls in her mind. On top of that she is being reinforced by people who do not see a problem with her behavior. She is young and attractive, so she will have opportunities to get better at this. The drugs will damage her body, but she might be very good at it by then. She needs to see that this is not the person she wants to be, but that desire needs to be stronger than having slaves pay for the opportunity to get beaten and work her garden. If someone she respected talk to her about what she liked about being a mistress then they may be able help her to steer herself in a more positive use of those qualities. It is difficult for me to say what I would do, as I do not know her. Just remember that she is responsible for her actions, not you. Even if you did have a negative influence.

    I think that people's sexuality can come from virtuous qualities that can be hard to understand. There is nothing wrong with a woman having a commending strength, but dommes do not want to deal with the sacrifices that real strength requires. You are willing to endure pain, filth, and humiliation for this woman in much the same way that a holy man would to worship their God. Those qualities can be good qualities. I think about how quick people attack pedophiles or zoodophiles without asking what good qualities these people have that are trying to get out. You might be offended by the comparison, but I would ask that you pay me back by showing kindness to others. Maybe people have trouble dealing with sexual feeling like these, but I try to look for virtuous qualities in the very things we are quick to condem. When other people are telling you that there is something wrong with you for havings these feeling, think about how those impulses can be put to good. Sometimes we has no choice, but still need to choose. You are driving woman away, but also want to submit to them completely and I think you have a values conflict you need to work through. People do not choose their feelings, but that decide what to do with those feelings. A pedophile may always have have those feelings, but they could use those feeling in a loving way to work for children's empowerment. In the same way, you might always feel like a slave, you can choose what your mistress will be. She needs to learn what it means to take ownership of something. Each of you need to think about the things you value.
     
    Roady and Kilrunio like this.
  12. Kilrunio

    Kilrunio Fapstronaut

    90
    66
    18
    Excellent points! I don´t get offended by that, way too many people condemm pedofiles or people with those thoughts, when there are help lines for them, and yeah if they don´t do anything then people should try to understand, help, rather than judge and punish so quickly...Many are also hypocrites.

    I think she used drugs earlier or I dont know really - I just know there was some hospital or issue stuff, now its just weed like tons do and smoking. But yeah she´s attractive/hot. That was also one of my whole things - What seems to have stuck with her is when I said the popular girl as she said that a few times even when cutting me off. She said now we tried it, it didnt work. End. Same earlier she said she wanted to try this. I am just honestly shocked how seriously she took it - and that i could beas submissive as i wanted - if i had known that i´d definitely not teased and taken full advantage and gone all out to try it even more - as when she was super hapyp7sweet she´d induldge in the things i´liked + give me treats/candy/drinks etc or pay for stuff.

    I must say though that after this - twitter is a complete joke to me- I mean I know many earns alot of money there - but it seems so fake to me, I´d definitely never do that again. What a waste of time. But I´d never really done it much if it couldnt lead to irl - or if i couldnt date the domme. Most are just young average girls looking for a quick buck or ugly guys calling themselves alpha trying to suck money out of people who are gay.

    Its a good point you make about the conflicting stuff. However most women Ive heard see mostly either old males, ugly males, short penis or weak/patethic males as slaves they will generally either want to date you or be very plesantly suprised if they see you´re both decently hot, confident and overall a gu ythey´d want as a bf. Thats at least my experience. And I also always never understood this..

    If a girl really is this superior divine goddess of femninity and girlpower - why would she want a total loser as her slave? Like come on. Thats why many subs lose repsect for dommes when they think their bf is not good enough. For me being the best means, make money, be smart, be hot, yes hot - why not? I had a girl who loved having a bunch of hot guys as her puppies - she only wanted those. It felt real good i remember to be chosen by her, she just liked hot guys + liked puppyplay. I think there is some primal stuff - as you do get to take care of a girl, but it can either be from the weak poiint where its your only way of getting attention and now finally you got a hot girl giving you 100% attention - or it can be from the tabboo of socieyt that you reverse the roles- or that you just work well that way. But for me the strongest and best relationships have been when we´d switch, there bdsm and real life stuff can get you to a whole new level with good communication and fun. But there needs to be repsect she needs to still know you´re her real man and better than everyone else even if she degrades you - but thats hard, its easy to lose respect, so you needvery good communication and do it babysteps and talk and make sure you´re a winner everywhere else. Its a hard balance but can be done with the right open minded high quality girls - stay away from loser girls go for the real high ones. They do exist but are very rare - even look into personality types perhaps that works too for me with myers brigg as I´m INFJ myself.

    I think you put it very well with those virtious qualities - yeah it has to be done right. Its easy to be a loser - but its hard to be a winner. And the girl will need to appreciate what you do for her, like i remember her gf/gfs were impressed how much I could take.

    Thats also why I think it could be good if the dommes try it themselves, how it feels like - because the whole being cruel may sound fun abd be fun - but to starve or beat someone too much is just stupid you need a strong slave who doesn´t need to be micromanaged..most men just wanna be caged and fed bread and water...they need a mommy basically..and are super selfish just want their dick rubbed or wanna do this weird bdsm fake stuff.

    You put it well there - it´s what we choose to do with our feelings. Yes. Spot on. Very simple, but not easy!
    I think my value conflict with this girl was I still tried to maintain some friends, or some aggression instead of complete submission and that came out in poking her leg, touching her hair a few times, and zapping her once - mostly to get punished harshly by her but now i thought about it - making her mad was so stupid and of course she´d cut me off no matter what i offer her. I think also her friends made it harder, it was easier to submit with just her and me. But if i´d do it over i´d go full cute submissive puppy mode - but with better communication and more talks about how things are going, maybe even weekly - as that is so so important.

    Hopefully people are more willing to not judge so fast, but yet we do, human nature, just need to be better at judging then and not assume too much - at least not always act on those assumptions perhaps is a good idea to give people a chance.
     
    WhiteLion likes this.
  13. Mideast

    Mideast Fapstronaut

    28
    39
    13
    An amazing story here. Can one imagine even if half of that energy is now channelled into helping oneself and other who need help ? A graceful feeling and a higher purpose.
     
    Roady and Kilrunio like this.
  14. Well, I glad that everything ended safely. Now you can reach real goals in life and get a woman who will love you. I hope everything is okay with you, pal!
     
    Kilrunio likes this.
  15. Smiling_Kitsune100

    Smiling_Kitsune100 Fapstronaut

    32
    9
    8
    Man in the moment of entering a site about dominatrixes and chemical castration, i feel very unconfotable seeing the content and the comments of that site and seriously looks so creep to me man
     
  16. MasterPablo

    MasterPablo Fapstronaut

    1,138
    869
    113
    would you like to join today's no-PMO war?
     
  17. fan_of_all_might

    fan_of_all_might Fapstronaut

    118
    160
    43
    Oh man bro. I had a hard time reading that post. At first I wasn't sure what to make of it but I really feel for you. It sounds like it was something you thought you wanted but turned into a literal nightmare. Please don't let yourself get into a situation like this. Please please please. You deserve so much better. It really breaks my heart to read this. Maybe you have this femdom fetish , maybe you are trying to beat yourself up or are ashamed or have some kind of pain this fetish has been manifested by. I'm not sure. But what I am sure of is this situation is not suitable for you. Your life is worth so much more than being a servant for someone. I won't condem you for doing anything you, because you need to know there is a path to redemption. No matter how bad or disgusting of a thing you may have done, you can still redeem yourself. Not in the eyes of others but yourself. Seriously. No matter what you did. You are entitled to dignity and respect.

    I would like to make some suggestions to you, first and foremost is get help. Go to a therapist asap. You need to learn about the feelings causing this self destructive behavior and learn to deal with them. Also learning how to negotiate better relationship is a key skill.

    Two , you need to find a proper standard of respect and find people in your life who will treat you that way. Especially someone you want to get romantically involved in. Be careful when narcissist try to warp your idea of what kind of respect you are entitled to. If you're not sure, ask someone you trust and look up to with great relationships. This is huge.

    Three. Do not spend money on a woman. Seriously. You don't need to spend a cent on a woman to like you. If you do, there's a chance she'll just see you as an ATM. Honestly, just remove this from the equation. I speak from personal experience, as a totally average looking guy. You don't need to spend any money on a woman to make her like you. And if she doesn't like you when you don't spend money, you did yourself a favor by avoiding her entirely. This goes for favors and chores. You don't need to do these things for love affection and sex. Only when you are in a loving relationship , then it's ok to spend money because you want to. Don't do it before she's earned that place in your life, by respect, commitment and wanting the best for you.

    Four , dump the PMO and femdom porn. Just get rid of it all. Focus on rebooting. Maybe you won't be perfect but make a line in the sand this is something you must and will move away from. You won't re-engage with PMO. Like an acaholic in AA avoiding a bar. Work on understandkng yourself in the mean time.

    Please take what I've written here to heart. I took the time to write this out because I really felt for you dude. That is no way to live. You can get better depending on the decisions you make now. I know you can and you must. Please work on repsecting yourself. I know it's hard. We're all here because it's hard. Just keep fighting and every small decision in the right direction compounds.
     
  18. Brent Burns

    Brent Burns New Fapstronaut

    2
    0
    1
    Guys, I used to struggle with femdom very much. I was into it for years and felt there was no way out. Eventually I came across an online program that was highly effective. I got rid of my fetish in under one month. Thats why I want to share it with you guys to help as many as possible. Just search for anti femdom league.
     
  19. Brent Burns

    Brent Burns New Fapstronaut

    2
    0
    1
    add com at the end of url of course
     
  20. ankith

    ankith Fapstronaut

    Is it free?
     

Share This Page