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Extremely disappointed with myself...

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by the4thknight, Jul 19, 2018.

  1. the4thknight

    the4thknight New Fapstronaut

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    A few hours ago I was in my bed relaxing and was scrolling through instagram. The problem is that a lot of girls post pictures wearing revealing clothing, swimming suits e.t.c. you know how it goes nowadays.

    Anyway I thought to myself, what the heck, I will stroke my meat for just a bit without reaching an orgasm or ejaculating. Don't know what I was thinking but I did it anyway. The problem is that after about a week of abstaining, I was so over-excited that I ejaculated in seconds and was way beyond my control. It all came out like a freakin' rocket.

    What makes me so angry with myself is that because of one stupid weak moment I now have to start all over again. I didn't ever think it would be that hard, but it seems like I was very wrong. Anyway I am not giving up in any way, on the contrary, after this I am more determined than ever because I am angry with myself and I WILL prove myself wrong.

    What I found out though after a week without masturbation and porn is that I do not have a porn addiction since I haven't even thought about it since. At least that's good.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2018
    William Wallace likes this.
  2. Bubbles

    Bubbles Fapstronaut

    You're not starting over, you're progressing. Don't forget the progress you've already made or you might just give up.

    I can't go on Instagram at all if I want to win.

    You can do this.
     
  3. Muphy

    Muphy Fapstronaut

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    I am 29 .. watching porn since I was 12 .
    Never new I was addicted .. never heard of nofap.. just going on..
    I tried to stop this and believe me you can hold it for a week.. but when weekend comes .. it's all back and you'll think it's ok to stop for 5 days and I'll watch now and get satisfaction and then from tomorrow onwards I'll try for two weeks..
    Well tomorrow is Sunday .. you'll do it again thinking you'll start from Monday..
    In next week you'll do on thursday by accident and then you'll think ooooppss .. ok.now it's done so I'll again start from Monday and the you'll watch and satisfy yourself on Friday Saturday and Sunday.

    Now on Monday you'll think ohh I'll start from 1st of next month it's only 4 days away and swearing this time..

    And it's all going to repeat and I'm next month you'll block some websites .. then stop watching youtube for some time and this sort of things you'll do whole year.

    Trust me.
    I found that two year ago that there is something not proper while having sex with my gf..

    And after that two years i kept giving excuses that I'll stop from today from Monday from next month and many more.

    Now it's been 20 days and I have stopped it all. Nothing at all.. and now I don't imagine sex at my office.. I don't imagine sex in bus... I don't imagine sex while commuting..

    The secret is..
    I started reading a novel. It doesn't give me time to think anything else. I come from office at 5 and get into that novel and I read it till 8 .. have dinner and again back to it.. call my friends on phone for time pass... Then back to novel.. sleep at 1am and wake up at 7 am .. back to novel.. I don't watch TV.. I don't watch movies on laptop.. infact I haven't opened laptop in days.. I read on Kindle so there is no option of just googling stuff and distraction by anything..

    I chose a novel..
    The mistborn triology..
    It has 3 books in series.. and then three more book series .. and then 2 books as prequel..
    Total 8 books..
    I have reached on 3rd in 20 days..
    By the time I complete 8.. 90 days will be passed..

    Also the book.is great..

    My suggestion: reading is excellent habit. Select some book with long series and get yourself involved into... Also this book has no porn or sex stuff so you'll not reach down your trouser while reading it.

    It helped me a lot and I already see changes in my routine..
    I need less sleep.
    I am attentive at office .. I feel a new energy in myself..

    Try it out.

    I might not have explained in some attractive fashion and with good vocabulary.. but trust me it has helped me ..
    And surely will help.you.
     
  4. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    Instagram triggered you from what you posted I got rid of it for this very reason lol you got this I would question whether Instagram is something you absolutely need because for me most of the women I was friends with posted half naked pics and my explore page was filled with it I’m glad I deleted and don’t really miss it
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2018
    the4thknight and horny nerd like this.
  5. You learned about something you need to avoid. Don't give up and don't beat yourself up about it. Just get back up and keep going.
     
    the4thknight and Hitto like this.
  6. horny nerd

    horny nerd Fapstronaut

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    Don't stress bro. I relapsed today because of scrolling through Instagram. Think about the progress you made from before. Your progress from before was not lost it was just set back a little. I will definitely delete Instagram now. Instagram is not necessary and it is just another type of media influenced by porn.
     
    the4thknight and Hitto like this.
  7. nef

    nef Fapstronaut

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    DISCONNECT from social media live in real world problem solved
     
  8. the4thknight

    the4thknight New Fapstronaut

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    Guys, thank you all for the support and the answers, but I am still connected to instagram and facebook and albeit that, I am still going strong, it was just a moment of weakness, it won't happen again. I am one day away from completing the first week cycle, hooray !!!
    Screenshot_2018-07-26-04-31-32-702.jpeg
     
  9. Dr.Shilo

    Dr.Shilo Fapstronaut

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    Hey success isn't in the falling down but the getting back up. You're doing a great job! I wouldn't call what happened a relapse since much of it was a slightly involuntary bodily response. Don't think too much into it and just move forward. You're making great progress and although I don't know you personally, I'm super proud of you. Maybe just take a bit of a break from Instagram for a while to build yourself up again. Although unfortunately we can't avoid sexually explicit material completely these days. But we can avoid certain reactions to it. Just don't pause when you see images like that, just keep on scrolling ;)
     
    the4thknight likes this.
  10. Goingtodothis21

    Goingtodothis21 Fapstronaut

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    Listen to the guys on this site man, you’re not starting all over again. It’s all progress but bear in mind how pissed off you were with yourself for that mistake this time...think of that next time you’re tempted and just say NO not again!
     

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