Extremely tired and weak after ejaculating (from sex, not M)?

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by alfred42, Feb 7, 2019.

  1. alfred42

    alfred42 Fapstronaut

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    A bit of background: I've dabbled in noFap and quitting porn since 2014, and I finally managed to quit it all for good in December, 2016. I'm proud to say I haven't watched porn or masturbated since then (it helped that I was dating a very horny girl for the first few months of 2017 and didn't have the need to ejaculate unaided). However, after we broke up, I maintained this and only ejaculated while having sex. There were periods of a month or more where I was celibate, and when I wasn't, I still never came more than twice a week, having observed the benefits of continence.



    Fast forward to January 2018, and I decided to experiment with complete celibacy for three months, despite living in a (college) environment with plenty of available women. I won't go into details about what happened, and I'm not sure it was the healthiest (mentally) thing to do, but I made it to the end of three months and while breaking the streak with a girl I was seeing at the time, my ejaculation was ridiculously intense. And since that period of time, my ejaculations have been getting more and more intense, and leave me feeling more and more depleted afterward, even if there is plenty of time in between them.



    To give you an idea, after coming I'll spas out on my bed for about 3-4 minutes straight, clenching all my muscles, making crazy noises, and in general giving the girl I'm with quite a show. I've gotten many comments saying it was the most intense one they've ever seen, etc.



    But as the intensity has gone up, so have the downsides. The feeling of coming is borderline painful (while also immensely pleasurable), and it's actually painful afterward, and my dick is sore for multiple days. It's pretty impossible for me to even be horny for at least 48 hours. Sometimes I'm increasingly prone to getting sick/the flu. I have digestive problems afterward, and often have stomach aches for more than a day. In many ways I feel kind of dead for a few days. It's hard for me to work, or even go out and talk to people. I just want to go home and sleep.



    So, I'm wondering if anyone else who has legitimately quit PM, and only orgasms while having sex, has any input. Have you experienced the same thing? What have you done about it? Do you not experience this? My reaction at this point makes me not even want to have sex, and I find myself actually worse at flirting/talking to girls at this point than I used to be.



    From a moralistic standpoint, it's possible that I'm realizing why frequent ejaculation was held to be so disgraceful, and that the real solution is to just never have sex again until I get married. But walking around a campus with pretty girls everywhere makes that very difficult. What should I do?
     
    Nugget9 likes this.
  2. Nugget9

    Nugget9 Fapstronaut

    Since being clean for so long and having my gf who is very sexual, my orgasms seem more intense than ever in my life, I feel like I spasm for 30 seconds and that's it. I orgasm about once a week and it does drain me but not like how you say it drains you.
     
  3. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    Ive experienced similar. U should understand that orgasming is a giant stress on the body. First off I want to ask if u consume stimulants or herbs. Specifically things like nicotine, caffeine , gingko that kind of thing. Secondly the whole getting the flu part keep in mind when u have sex u can catch and gestate flus even they didnt know they were carrying. I also want to ask if u do intense excersize other than this. U need to expel/transmute the extra energy sometimes like work out more, go for runs, find a sport. Look at what u eat as well , the stomach and exhaustion thing might be revealing an underlying issue. But its more likely the things i said before.

    Lastly this is important. Do not do long sessions and delay orgasm till like an hour. Dont do long foreplay. Dont try to last long etc. Orgasm twice as fast, maybe three times as fast if possible.

    Let me put it to u like this as well. Essentially sex is already a physical activity that taxes the body and puts it i na different state. When u perform this activity and then u tell it to 'explode' after u just had a long sex session and even more so if ur not excersizing /fapping. Its gonna do exactly that. Explode with all that build up of force unto ur already exhausted body. Its not just physical as well. Remember ur brain is also healed and responding to a real woman. So ur neurochemicals will fuel even more. Its a strain on the body. So like i said make sure ur healthy other wise. dont consume things that mess with ur circulation , work out and when u have sex dont take long to orgasm.

    Edit: lastly u could try not orgasming / karezza. Or see if it helps if u have slow/natural orgasms. Rather than intense build ups like quick rigirous sex or rough sex or stroking. Like slow and personal where u orgasm out of pleasure not pumping it from being over excited.
     
    Tonytone likes this.
  4. alfred42

    alfred42 Fapstronaut

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    I don't consume any caffeine or other stimulants/herbs. Occasionally I drink very moderately. My diet is very healthy, and I exercise (weightlifting or calisthenics) about 6 days a week. In fact one might say that I'm highly health obsessed.

    It does seem right that ejaculating quickly would help the problem. Whenever I have a long session it's always bigger, so that's possibly a problem.

    It's also possible that I'm just experiencing the normal post-coitus feelings, and that most people, due to frequent ejaculation, never get to that point. Is this something you've experienced as well, and how long do you wait between orgasms?
     
  5. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    Its normal to appear or feel weak/ vulnerable and even feel somewhat paralyzed after coitus but the pain part and intensity is an issue. Especially if the women are commenting on it and ur feeling it. There is trope in old stories about women waiting to attack men when they are weakened by post orgasm state. Its a lil normal to want to sleep / feel weak. Its not to be super vurnerable and in pain for days and cant move. I mean sometimes intense sex can do that to an ordinary person but its not supposed to happen all the time.

    In regards to waiting in between orgasms. Like i said. I try to keep to one release per encounter and once a week. I dont always succeed at that but when i do i dont get any negative effects. Often when i have long sex and orgasm multiple times. thats when i get the weakness and the pain etc. Its kind of like dessert. A little bit at the right time is great but too much multiple times will mess u up.
     
    Tonytone likes this.
  6. jiq13

    jiq13 New Fapstronaut

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    Doing something you are not addicted to, for example, study, you feel tired while doing it. On the contrast, you will only be aware of your exhaustion after the things like video games or porn are done.
     
  7. Are you delaying long your ejaculation during sex? (in order to give for the partner or for yourself more pleasure, or for some other reason)

    Maybe try first give the partner orgasm without penetration, then let your body climax automatically without restricting, delaying.
     

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