Eye Contact from a Woman That I Found Attractive

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by F50C137YZ, Dec 31, 2016.

  1. F50C137YZ

    F50C137YZ Fapstronaut

    I wanted to tell someone this. Yesterday, I was doing my job and saw this young woman that I found myself really attracted to physically. She looked really deep into my eyes as she was walking by and then down, then looked back up into my eyes really deeply again.

    She even turned her head as she was passing by and made it even more obvious that she was looking at me! I'm glad that she didn't run into anything.

    I've been told that body language wise, that's kind of a "come hither" signal, especially the looking down and looking back up. I saw her again a few times and every time she maintained that eye contact.

    I'm not making anything of it, as I'm not really ready to date or anything. It's just the first real affirmation that I've received from a woman that I'm actually attracted to physically. I consider myself a fairly attractive guy, so I've had a lot of girls/women like me... but they weren't attractive to me either physically or personality wise.

    I'm by no means shallow, personality means more to me. In a sense that, even if we had a really good physical chemistry... I wouldn't want to take it any further whatsoever if we didn't get along as people.

    Anyway, it was day 57 yesterday when that happened and I almost couldn't believe it. I had really felt like no woman that I was actually attracted to would ever find me attractive back.

    Most guys report this kind of attention from women very early on in their reboot. I didn't experience it until just yesterday. Just goes to show you, everyone's experience is different.

    No, I didn't become a sex god in 57 days. Far from it. I'm still an awkward guy that is trying to find his way. However, this did give me a little boost of confidence and made me feel elated.

    Keep it up everyone!
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2016
  2. EffingA

    EffingA Fapstronaut

    That's really great to hear. Just maintaining eye contact can be a huge confidence boost. I've experienced the same thing, and I know how good it can feel to realize that someone might be attracted to you and not be terrified by it or unable to communicate your feelings through your body language.

    You should talk to her if you see her regularly. Even if you aren't ready to date, it will be another huge boost, believe me. Just to approach her will make you feel good.

    Best of luck! Stay strong!
    Sailor93 likes this.
  3. You should get after her. She's giving you the sign. If you like her then get after it!
    F50C137YZ likes this.
  4. F50C137YZ

    F50C137YZ Fapstronaut

    As far as eye contact goes, I have never had issues holding it in any sense. Even when I was fapping a lot, I got comments on how strong my eye contact was. Women that I have been attracted to just tend to look away and never look back. It's the having someone give this specific type of eye contact that I've never experienced.

    I do have kind of a deadpan face. I think that might be part of why I've never had much luck in the dating department. I guess women expect me to smile. I'm a very serious person though and I rarely smile, even when I'm really happy. I didn't smile at this woman or anything, she didn't smile either. The eye contact was there though.

    Maybe, I will talk to her. No expectations, just to say hi for my own personal growth. Thanks for the encouragement!
    I don't know about getting after her. I don't even really know if I like her yet. I am just very attracted to her physical appearance. I've literally never talked to her or heard her speak before. I work in a very large warehouse and this was the first time I've ever seen her.

    I live with my mom. I can't see any woman being too keen on that. Plus, emotionally / mentally / financially, I have a lot of growing to do. I don't want to pull anyone into that.

    Before I did nofap, the old me would have reacted exactly the way you said. Try to go after her and make something happen. In fact, it was my only real focus. It never got me anywhere.

    Now, I'm completely focused on self-development and getting where I want to be in life.

    Even if I did go after this woman, she would see how not together I am and her initial attraction would dwindle. Then, I would be back to square one of feeling like shit about myself.

    Honestly, I'm happy knowing that there is a woman out there I find very physically attractive that found me attractive back for even a moment. I don't want to screw that up.

    I appreciate the reassurance that she's giving me the sign though. I also appreciate your intent, which I know comes from a good place. I really am just not in a place for even a dating relationship and I don't do casual flings.
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2017
    Sailor93 likes this.
  5. I want you to know I'm not picking on you here... that said, what you just said there sums up a lot of people's problems on here and in society in general.

    Fear of failing. You can't let that sort of thing control your life. I know you are saying that you need to get your shit together first or that she will see that there are cracks in your armour etc.... you can't think like that. If you wait for the perfect day to arrive then you will wait forever. There is never such a thing as a good time.

    What's the worst that can happen? You talk to her and she isn't what you wanted? Or you talk to her and she doesn't respond positively to you? It doesn't really matter does it as you arent losing anything. And so what if she knocked you back.. it's happened to every male on the planet.

    So I repeat... get after it! You can only get better by trying.
    Strength And Light likes this.
  6. F50C137YZ

    F50C137YZ Fapstronaut

    I don't feel like you're picking on me. It seems like you just want to help.

    Suffice it to say that I misrepresented my situation a bit, in that I didn't mention that I've had many "faux relationships", where I had all of those signals and was led on, but the women said that they "never felt that way". Essentially, it left me feeling like I was crazy and that I just "read into things".

    All these situations sent me spiraling further into depression and addiction. I feel like dating and approaching women with the sole purpose of trying to get a date would really be a mistake right now.

    I will, however, say hi to this woman at work and be cordial. I just can't see it going any further. If it naturally goes somewhere, I won't be closed to that... but I'm not going to try to get her to like me. That's never worked for me, they see right through it.
  7. F50C137YZ

    F50C137YZ Fapstronaut

    @TooManlyForSalad Btw, I agree... I have a fear of rejection. I also am genuinely not trying to make excuses as to why I shouldn't face it.

    I just feel like facing it right now wouldn't be a very good idea because of how vulenerable I feel emotionally due to extreme mood swings.

    It would most likely better serve me to face this fear when I have a better grounding after I have been "sober" for a while.
  8. Fair enough. It's clearly about root issues with you though. Rejection is part of life and happens to us all. You just have to not place too much credibility on other people's opinions.

    Good idea quitting booze if you are the depressed type. I've been sober nearly 6 years and I have a completely different mind as a result.
  9. F50C137YZ

    F50C137YZ Fapstronaut

    You're right about the opinions of other people. Consciously, I know not to place my self esteem on other people's opinions of me. Subconsciously, I have to fight thoughts of self doubt and even hatred constantly. I'm working on it, it will take a while as I fed myself all sorts of untrue bullshit for basically 20 years of my life.

    This is part of what I mean by I don't think that it's the right time. I have very low self esteem and I have been working very hard to better this about myself.

    I occasionally have a beer here and there. It's not really a problem for me. I would say that I probably have a what would be equivalent to one beer a month on average.

    I don't drink to get drunk or self soothe or use it as social lubricant or anything like that. I just like the taste of craft beer, a nice wine, a decent whiskey or bourbon every once in a while.

    I turn down alcohol all of the time, I turn down sweets all of the time, I turn down things that are unhealthy for me all of the time. My main vice has always been porn and masturbation. I'm putting the work in to form better habits and have a more fulfilling life.

    Congrats on being sober! That's really great.
    TooManlyForSalad likes this.
  10. SupBruh

    SupBruh Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry to be the downer here, but why are you settling for 'eye contact' which you take for a sign of attraction, and then proceed to say that you are not going to say anything to this girl despite believing she's attracted to you?

    Part of why many of us do NoFap is to get out of the fantasy 'porn' world and into the real world. Right now you're mentally M'ing to the idea of this girl liking you.

    It would do you good to strike up a conversation with this girl. Share your experience on here, encourage others to follow your example, and heck, maybe you'll make a new friend or find yourself a partner.
  11. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    The 3 P's :

    * Practice
    * Progression
    * Perfect

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