Eye contact.

Hey guys and girls,
Lately I've been interested in this girl I go to school with. But the one problem I have is eye contact from across the room. A couple of times I've caught her looking at me, but the moment I realise this my eyes nervously dart away. If I'm the one looking and she looks back I look away too. It's so hard for me to maintain eye contact in this way, let alone smiling. I think I simply lack self confidence. I don't know this girl very well (I've never had a full on conversation with her). Any tips on how to overcome this eye contact anxiety?

 

It will continue to be awkward until you break the ice with her. Take the leap!

 

The key to eye contact is slow-motion. If you remember this you can instantly draw her in and project confidence at the same time. Practice moving your head slowly and averting your gaze even slower. You don't want to stare but you want to make it known you are in fact looking directly at her. (a full 1 to 2 seconds is optimal, its actually quite a long time.)

Confident men move slower than others if you pay attention, they are sure of themselves. If you watch a group of guys sitting around an executive conference room table the CEO or any high-level executive hardly move their head or their gaze. They take their time.

 

Thanks guys for the advice and support! It's really hard to get to talk to her because she's in completely different classes and she's also in a different year group (so she has different friends to everyone in my group).

Thanks for this, I'll try it out on Monday

 

I want to be up to date with your story xD wish you GL

 

Thanks mate, I'll most likely post about it in my journal. Thanks for putting the emergency checklist in your signature too!

 

Np buddy

 

Thanks for the tips! I added her on social networking a few weeks ago so there's already a little bit of familiarity which is good

 

Just go up to her and start talking to her.

 

I disagree. You should look into someones eyes long enough to notice the colour of their eyes and then focus on other areas of their face. Keeping eye contact until she looks away will probably freak her out. I should also add this should happen when you actually talk to her.

 

I mean it's really hard to talk to her, we share no lessons whatsoever, I only see her occasionally around and about so I'm trying to start a little eye contact. But I leave school next year; it's very likely nothing will happen with me and her but I'll try

 

Just do it - Nike

 

I don't think you need to make eye contact for so long, and you're not looking away when look at other areas of her face.

 

One thing I noticed about eye contact, I have a tendency to not be able to focus on both eyes when the girl is close.

I usually focus on their left iris, you can see it expand, it's kinda cool. It also doesn't look weird, because even though you may feel like you don't appear to be looking dead on, you actually are.

Try it in a mirror, focus on one eye. Just make sure no one's watching.

A fun experiment you can try is making eye contact with girls as they are walking by. For me, they usually maintain contact, or they look away quickly.

I would say forget about smiling, it'll make you look weak. I would practice emitting a warm but powerful gaze, with a calm expression. The same expression CEOs have. Smiling implies you need some kind of gratification. Convey with your gaze that you need nothing, you have everything, and you aren't afraid to show it.

 

Great advice sir! I'll try it when I'm in the same room as her. As I've said before I don't see her very often but when I do I'll tell you guys how it went!

 

Some eye contact is good. Forced eye contact or over the top eye contact is a bit silly. Try to stay open and natural with it. Good luck whatever you decide to do regarding this.