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Facebook Can Suck It

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Dante Alighieri, Aug 18, 2016.

  1. I deleted my Facebook more than a month ago. I think that more than anything has ended up helping me have longer streaks. I've come to believe that it hindered my life and made me feel less than.

    It's strange, people would "friend request me" and they actually had no interest in talking to me. I would message them and no reply. I was no more than a collector's card to them. A not very "$valuable$" card at that, one of the cards that they collect duplicates of just to make their stack look bigger. "I've got 3,056 Facebook friends! How many to you have?" Am I the only one that thinks more than 10 true friends is a whole lot?

    It's interesting, lots of people post their "ideal lives", not what is really going on. It's a false advertisement of sorts. It makes real people think, "Am I really the only one out there that isn't in my dream career, with my dream partner and going on dream vacations all of the time with my dream wad of cash?" It's the "Blu-Ray cover" to their lives, but what do their real lives look like?

    Instead of being a means for connecting, it's turned into a clusterfuck of podium stepping pseudo-political, ego junkies that are only interested in what ignorant one liner they are going to come up with next and boasting about how great their lives are to make themselves feel better.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that everyone that has a Facebook is a fuckhead and that it is completely useless. It just didn't serve much of a purpose for me in the end other than get depressed, then looking at pictures of hot women that I once knew, which was not healthy and creepy.
     
  2. Les_Brown

    Les_Brown Fapstronaut

    Mark Zuckerberg was most likely well-intentioned. He provided us with a platform to communicate with anyone on Earth. However, he failed to anticipate how Facebook would progress. Currently, it is filled with self-loathing men and women. Men are less willing to approach their crushes and ask them on dates because they can simply browse photos online. Young women feel as if they must share perfect photos of themselves and they associate their beauty with the number of likes they receive for a photo. This issue is by no means unique to Facebook. The internet, despite glorious and integral to our cognitive evolution as a species, has rendered us incapable of conversing. We have developed a false sense of whom we consider friends. We strive to display a life (online) that we do not actually live (in reality).

    I have never held a social media account (and no, I do not consider this website as a social media platform), nor do I ever plan to create one. Well done, Dante. You are strong enough to succeed in life without the reign of Facebook.
     
    Strivefwd and HappyInTheRain like this.
  3. I definitely agree that there was most likely well intent there. It's all sad really because everyone wants so desperately to be accepted and loved. Instead of that, they put a # on validation like you put it about photo likes. That inherently devalues as it insinuates that we need to have someone like our appearance or the things we say in order for it to hold merit.

    The Merrium Webster's 1) listing of "media" is of the Latin root. Literally meaning: "voice stops". I find this absolutely fascinating.

    Yea, there is a big difference between a social media platform and a support forum. Most, if not all, people here are here because they want help and/or to know that they are not alone in their struggles. I see that as the exact opposite of media.
     
  4. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    i liked facebook in the beginning. i could chat with school friends n like friends who live away.
    but now i think facebook is more about showing that you're having more fun than others.
    i have only 10 friends on facebook.
     
  5. MrNefesh

    MrNefesh Fapstronaut

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    I totally agree with you! I have an account on facebook but a few months ago I tried to take the best from it. I've just unfollow most of my "friends" and started to looking for pages about subjects that interest me and will make me learn something! I've even started to have some pleasure using it. Constantly seeing all those people trying to show or prove something is sad and it was making me sad, because I was always comparing myself to them, even unconsciously!
     
  6. Son_of_Iroquois

    Son_of_Iroquois Fapstronaut

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    The best quote I heard describing Facebook was this: "Social media is to socializing as reality TV is to reality." Simply put, IMAGE is not REALITY. And connecting a series of self created images does not mean there is a real CONNECTION. That is what I think Facebook advertises, but fundamentally lacks at its core: the ability to connect people.

    Now, that may sound like an absurd statement. "What do you mean? Facebook lacks the ability to connect people? I'm friends with people from all over the world." But are you? Are you really "friends"? Being someone's friend requires an investment, a real investment, of time and energy, and more importantly: it requires some kind of emotional bond. That is what being someone's friend means, at its core level. True friendship requires that you keep up with them, share the same interests, etc. All this means that you must lower your wall and let someone else in. Real connection means letting go of your own bullshit, your own self created wall of images, in order to make space for who someone else is. This is simply not what Facebook is about. Facebook is about projecting whatever images make people feel good, it is not about real connection.

    I find Facebook a really strange social phenomenon, actually. I met these two girls in a bar the other day, for example. Now, I created a ton of energy in this interaction. I approached both of them. Both of these women were completely drawn in. They were laughing, opening up about their lives, etc, it was all good. Just fun. They both had boyfriends, and that was fine, I was legitimately interested in making a couple of new friends in this city where they live (which is about an hour from where I am). I talked to these women for about 2 hours. One of them was adamant that I friend request her on FB so she could show me around when I visited her city. So I FB requested her, just so we could hang out at some point in the future. And...nothing. There are so many more instances that I can think of when this has happened in some form. It's simply not real.

    So after that I was like, fuck it, I'm going to stick with what is real to me. And what is real to me is meeting people and then forgetting about them. If we REALLY hit it off, then I will get their email address or phone number so we can possibly hang out again, but FB friends? Nah, fuck that. A real connection with another human being means something. That meaning is not found in FB, at least in my life.

    The one saving grace that FB does have though, is for business. It is a fucking awesome networking tool, just to keep people online who may be of use in some form for doing business in the future.
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2016
    theRegenerator and Stürmer like this.
  7. Very well put, the story about the girls is a perfect example. The simulacrum is true.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 20, 2016
  8. MasturbatieAtelier

    MasturbatieAtelier Fapstronaut

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    Deleted my account more than a year ago. Only downside so far is not recieving invites to party's.
    Scrolling through the updates every day made me feel disgusted, even by my own friends. Sometimes I thought they were joking with the perfect pictures and the bullshit stories, but they are actually following along with fake image douchebaggery that OP perfectly described. They have become tools of the system.
     
    NoMoreOnanism likes this.
  9. MaxGoof

    MaxGoof Fapstronaut

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    Totally agree there, facebook is shit but have it mainly for groups I like
    Anyway, Dante Alighieri is my all-time favorite writer, so high V bro!
     
  10. Son_of_Iroquois

    Son_of_Iroquois Fapstronaut

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    It's actually interesting because when photography was first shown to indigenous tribes, some of them thought that having their picture taken meant their soul was being stolen. That always struck me as interesting. Why would they think that? It could be general superstition and an overreaction to strange new technology, or it could be something more. Perhaps these tribes had a different way of living and experiencing the world that was more fluid and in the now, like a river of images within their mind as they lived subjectively, and when someone took a still photo of them, it was almost like capturing that living energy from them, making them an object. To them, perhaps their internal self image was made external and trapped in a photo, and thus it really was like having their soul stolen. In any event, if having their picture taken was like having their soul stolen, then I think tribal people's would have seen Facebook as a prison for the soul, a series of still images that traps living energy.
     
    Dziki007 likes this.
  11. NoMoreOnanism

    NoMoreOnanism Fapstronaut

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    I too quit facebook about 2 months ago. I found I was using it to escape reality. I do that with porn, and masturbation too. Also I just quit Netflix a few days ago for the same reason. It was letting me escape reality.

    It was only after quitting all these things that I was able to finally take action on PMO and join nofap.

    I quit facebook and netflix by changing my password to a generated password that I wrote on paper and gave to my brother. Then I deleted my accounts (which you can reactivate if you know the password). Then I cleared my computers cache.

    I know that if I had the passwords I would reactivate within 24 hours and then have a relapse on porn.

    My use of facebook and netflix always led to porn and/or masturbation within a day or two. Fantasy land.
     
  12. Sunshadow

    Sunshadow Distinguished Fapstronaut

    I'm still on Facebook, with something like 75 friends, most of whom I've unfollowed. It's true that you see some pretty bad stuff, and I know that I've M'd to things on there, but I keep it around because I manage to keep in touch with some good friends through Messenger, and I find the groups are great for communicating with large numbers of people at once.
    Like so many things in this world, it's got its pros and cons. Personally, I find the pros outweigh the cons just enough for me to keep using it.
     
  13. Dziki007

    Dziki007 Fapstronaut

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    @Dante Alighieri Agree. I created facebook only to communicate with my friends, thats all. Practical function. Its waste of time otherwise.
     
    HappyInTheRain likes this.
  14. Son_of_Iroquois

    Son_of_Iroquois Fapstronaut

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    I went back on FB a couple days ago, just briefly, and man did it feel totally fake, totally shallow.

    After having been off of it for so long, I believe that I have developed a much deeper inward self, a much more meaningful sense of value and real relationship, even if it is just me walking alone in the park.

    It seems absurd now to do something just so I can post a photo of it on FB. Even having that mindset, that I am going to project my inner value out for other people's approval, even thinking that now seems deeply wrong.

    When you are alone there is no phone to look at, no screen to browse mindless images and noise. There is just what is there around you to see and experience actually in the moment.
     
    theRegenerator and Lone_Wolf like this.
  15. Lone_Wolf

    Lone_Wolf Fapstronaut

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    I tried Facebook for a brief period of time, but found nothing of value in it. It seemed to be a bunch of idiocy. People posting about the vacation they just returned from, or the restaurant they ate at, or the shower they just had. No one who read any of it really cared. They would just use it to try to one-up the other person. "You just came back from St. Lucia? Did you meet Miguel at the hotel? We've know him since 1674 when we started going there."

    As Dante said in the original post here, you're just a collector card to people. My question is, if those people who have 3,056 "friends" on this thing actually have 3,056 real friends, how is it they're so miserable and envious all the time?
     
  16. Son_of_Iroquois

    Son_of_Iroquois Fapstronaut

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    That's the impression that I get: no one really cares. For a real relationship to exist there must be a sense that you appreciate what someone else does. FB seems to fuel self-centered behavior, not group centered behavior. Of course there are exceptions if you use it for business and networking, but there are better tools for that I think.

    hahaha!!!

    Robin Dunbar, author of "The Science of Love", wrote in his book that most people have no more than 5 real friends. 5 REAL friends. People who spend time with you, who take the time to know you and what you're about, who will be there in a time of trouble, etc. The main point he makes is that real friendship takes work and effort to keep up; once you start letting it slide it takes active energy to regain that original connection. Even from a purely scientific viewpoint you can see that FB friends are not real friends.

    For something to have value, it requires energy, which requires work. "Friendships" on FB require no real work. It's just click click and everything else is automated. The quality of working to build a connection is void and absent.
     
    Lone_Wolf likes this.
  17. Lone_Wolf

    Lone_Wolf Fapstronaut

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    I find that people out there in real life are almost as bad these days. I can never seem to make any REAL friends, since they all are glued to their dumbphones (er, I mean smartphones) or talk about stupid things all the time.



    If I could get up to 5, that would be something. You know what, though? All the energy I've put into trying to make friends (for naught) has worn me out and I just don't bother anymore.
     
  18. Son_of_Iroquois

    Son_of_Iroquois Fapstronaut

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    I know what you mean. I find it more and more challenging as I get older to establish real connections with people outside of work. Most people my age are doing the family thing, so they are focused on that.

    I think the key is to develop and build a sense of true care within yourself, to become a rich person within your own mind and heart. Then you will not need to seek for fulfilment in the external world or superficial escapes, and the connections that you do make will actually be meaningful, as you yourself will have a high sense of worth.
     
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