Facebook Reels ALMOST made me relapse

refinement

Fapstronaut
Facebook Reels keep showing me videos of immodestly dressed women on my feed. This happens because I have viewed similar videos hundreds of times in the past. Despite clicking 'Hide/See fewer posts like this' multiple times, these videos continue to appear.

Today, while checking my feed, it showed me those videos again. I couldn't resist and ended up on a porn site. After watching videos for 10-15 minutes, I managed to stop and closed all the tabs.

This has happened many times before. There's a clear pattern. Whenever I relapse, it's because of what I see on social media. I have no trouble controlling my eyes in real life.

So at this point, being on Facebook feels like being a sex addict in a brothel, trying not to get involved with the prostitutes. I'm just asking for trouble.

Do you think I should delete my account, make a new one, and just use it for messaging friends without watching reels?

I'm sure many others are facing the exact same issue.
 
hey buddy ,
I was in the similar situation that you were in. your brain has gone through a load of dopamine in the past and so it needs now as well. I possibly see that facebook reel is one of your trigger. The idea is to get rid of all your triggers. I must say that the social media is eating up your time. Until unless you have business in the social media I feel it completely useless thats the reason i left from all social media on december 2023. Try to get rid of the social media websites again there will be withdrawal symptoms just like other addictions go through it you will feel definitely better.

try it for next 7 days and see. All the best
 
hey buddy ,
I was in the similar situation that you were in. your brain has gone through a load of dopamine in the past and so it needs now as well. I possibly see that facebook reel is one of your trigger. The idea is to get rid of all your triggers. I must say that the social media is eating up your time. Until unless you have business in the social media I feel it completely useless thats the reason i left from all social media on december 2023. Try to get rid of the social media websites again there will be withdrawal symptoms just like other addictions go through it you will feel definitely better.

try it for next 7 days and see. All the best

Hey man, thank you so much for your beautiful reply.

I've read Gary Wilson's book and I know about the dopamine and novelty relationship. Social media is very similar to porn in this regard—you're always looking for the 'new stuff.' Also, there's a lot of softcore porn on social media. To me, it's no different from regular porn.

I want to delete all my social media, but I find many useful tips and videos there, as well as news. How do you satisfy that need? I think I have a 'fear of missing out.' In the last 15 years, I don't think I've ever gone through a week without social media! That's just crazy!
 
I seriously won't reply any of these posts anymore. You know the answer, yet you don't act. It is insane.

That's what an addict means, though.

And I asked a question: "I want to delete all my social media, but I find many useful tips and videos there, as well as news. How do you satisfy that need?"
 
I want to delete all my social media, but I find many useful tips and videos there, as well as news. How do you satisfy that need? I think I have a 'fear of missing out.' In the last 15 years, I don't think I've ever gone through a week without social media! That's just crazy!

It's another drug we have got to give up. As a sex addict, being on (para)social media is like an alcoholic going to a brewery. It's insanity. I "gave up" many useful tips and communities when I left. But my life has been 100% better without it. I wasted soooo much time and energy there on nothingness.

Also as a sex / porn addict I know that PMO is slowly killing me and I cannot risk "close calls" in triggering spaces sending me down the abyss. It is *life and death* for me to stay sober. So cutting out things I really like, is a price that I have to pay sometimes.

There are TONS of benefits to quitting (para)social media though. check out this video, it has helped me a lot:

also, not to split hairs, but nothing can *make* us relapse. We make life decisions that put us in dangerous situations that lead to relapse. Even though this addiction feels out of our control (and often can be), it is up to us to make sure we dont get in those situations to begin with.

Wishing you success ---
 
Last edited:
Imho, you need to weigh up the worth of keeping any source of potential triggers against the energy it takes to fight the drawbacks of keeping that source around.

I know Mark Queppet weighed up keeping on playing video games while fighting his addictive personality, and chose to get rid of all videogames completely. The benefits of playing in moderation weren't worth the struggle.

So you need to weigh up what you are getting out of FB, with "good" content mixed with these unhelpful reels, and make a choice. If there is a workaround where the payoff is that you don't run into those reels anymore - great! If not - ditch FB altogether, it's holding you back.

Personally - on Insta I carried on hiding posts and entire users/channels until the feed was clean again. It took ages. At the same time I added a blocking app which restricts my time on Insta to 15 minutes per day. I think eventually I reduced it to 12. This is not enough time to go down the P waterslide, so my brain stopped viewing Insta as a source for P. Now I hardly ever open it but I feel pretty safe to do so under those conditions. Sometimes I go in and check the reels that people have sent to me. It also helps that the friends I have chosen to interact with aren't the type of people to send me smutty stuff.
 
It's another drug we have got to give up. As a sex addict, being on (para)social media is like an alcoholic going to a brewery. It's insanity. I "gave up" many useful tips and communities when I left. But my life has been 100% better without it. I wasted soooo much time and energy there on nothingness.

Also as a sex / porn addict I know that PMO is slowly killing me and I cannot risk "close calls" in triggering spaces sending me down the abyss. It is *life and death* for me to stay sober. So cutting out things I really like, is a price that I have to pay sometimes.

There are TONS of benefits to quitting (para)social media though. check out this video, it has helped me a lot:

also, not to split hairs, but nothing can *make* us relapse. We make life decisions that put us in dangerous situations that lead to relapse. Even though this addiction feels out of our control (and often can be), it is up to us to make sure we dont get in those situations to begin with.

Wishing you success ---

Thank you so much for your beautiful reply.

I think apps like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok are primarily based on photos and videos, which practically makes them places to share softcore porn. However, Twitter is mostly not like that. Even though hardcore porn is allowed on Twitter, the chances of seeing it are very unlikely because, unlike the others I've mentioned, it's mostly text-based. What's your take on that? Should I give up Twitter as well? Then there are other options like Gab. Even though I'm not a Christian, the people there share many useful things. Should I give that up too, if it's not consuming more than 15 minutes of my day?
 
Imho, you need to weigh up the worth of keeping any source of potential triggers against the energy it takes to fight the drawbacks of keeping that source around.

I know Mark Queppet weighed up keeping on playing video games while fighting his addictive personality, and chose to get rid of all videogames completely. The benefits of playing in moderation weren't worth the struggle.

So you need to weigh up what you are getting out of FB, with "good" content mixed with these unhelpful reels, and make a choice. If there is a workaround where the payoff is that you don't run into those reels anymore - great! If not - ditch FB altogether, it's holding you back.

Personally - on Insta I carried on hiding posts and entire users/channels until the feed was clean again. It took ages. At the same time I added a blocking app which restricts my time on Insta to 15 minutes per day. I think eventually I reduced it to 12. This is not enough time to go down the P waterslide, so my brain stopped viewing Insta as a source for P. Now I hardly ever open it but I feel pretty safe to do so under those conditions. Sometimes I go in and check the reels that people have sent to me. It also helps that the friends I have chosen to interact with aren't the type of people to send me smutty stuff.

That's some great advice, my friend! Thank you so much. What's that app called, the one that limits you to 15 minutes?

Yesterday, I spent about an hour cleaning (blocking and hiding) the reels. It seems to have worked now, but I did it when my libido was at its lowest. I'll be honest, even with low libido, I could have relapsed. So I think it's best to delete it altogether.

Looks like Mr. Queppet has some dope content. I've bookmarked it and will binge-watch it when I have free time.

I want to use my social media only for DM purposes, but then again, there's still a risk of losing control.
 
Thank you so much for your beautiful reply.

I think apps like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok are primarily based on photos and videos, which practically makes them places to share softcore porn. However, Twitter is mostly not like that. Even though hardcore porn is allowed on Twitter, the chances of seeing it are very unlikely because, unlike the others I've mentioned, it's mostly text-based. What's your take on that? Should I give up Twitter as well? Then there are other options like Gab. Even though I'm not a Christian, the people there share many useful things. Should I give that up too, if it's not consuming more than 15 minutes of my day?

Did you watch the video I posted? Please do if you didn't, it will answer your questions.

Twitter is one of the worst ones, and as you said, it has P on it. Going to *any* site that has P on it is asking for relapse. Especially with how incredibly addictive those algos are. Not to mention the loads of triggering content, baiting, etc. One of the most foolish mistakes we make is always believing "I can limit my time! I'm in control!"

...then 3 hours of gooning and insanity later we realize we didn't. And we then blame / hate ourselves and relapse even more...

This is the cycle of addiction. Go 90 days without that stuff and see how ya feel. Keep a journal. I think you will find that your life will improve 100% without it.
 
Last edited:
Did you watch the video I posted? Please do if you didn't, it will answer your questions.

Twitter is one of the worst ones, and as you said, it has P on it. Going to *any* site that has P on it is asking for relapse. Especially with how incredibly addictive those algos are. Not to mention the loads of triggering content, baiting, etc. One of the most foolish mistakes we make is always believing "I can limit my time! I'm in control!"

...then 3 hours of gooning and insanity later we realize we didn't. And we then blame / hate ourselves and relapse even more...

This is the cycle of addiction. Go 90 days without that stuff and see how ya feel. Keep a journal. I think you will find that your life will improve 100% without it.


I was too sleepy last night, so I didn't watch it. Now I have.

Well, I have to disagree with him.

He's pontificating about something he's never used. That’s the number one reason not to listen to him.

Secondly, he basically says, 'social media presence is not so important for your business.' WRONG. If you don’t have a social media presence, your business will fail, unless it’s some type of local farm and you’re over 50 years old.

And thirdly, if we’re so vulnerable to relapse just because some immodest woman pops up on our screen while we're surfing tweets, then we shouldn’t go outside or visit shopping websites either. Because when you go outside, you see lots of immodest women, and when you visit a shopping website to buy some books, you might see a girl in a bikini.

Don’t get me wrong, one should definitely get rid of TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram, as they are image- and video-based. But like I said, Twitter is mostly text-based. You should be able to control yourself if something immodest pops up on your screen.



I believe it's called AppBlock for Android. There are loads of similar apps you can experiment with.

Yes indeed. His Metascript Journal method has been super helpful to me: https://frontlineman.com/metascript-download?__s=g3zbqssi5yhptrsaqhst


Great! He's definitely a stand-up guy. Thank you so much, and good luck on your journey!
 
if we’re so vulnerable to relapse just because some immodest woman pops up on our screen while we're surfing tweets, then we shouldn’t go outside or visit shopping websites either

most of us dont jerk off our meat in front of women at the grocery store. we jerk off in front of computer screens. Your comparison is not accurate.
Treating what we do on those screens with extreme caution is very smart, and one way we can stay sober.

If you think you can manage using Twitter without relapsing - hats off to you. I have my doubts. Best of luck.

Thanks for taking the time to watch the video.
 
most of us dont jerk off our meat in front of women at the grocery store. we jerk off in front of computer screens. Your comparison is not accurate.
Treating what we do on those screens with extreme caution is very smart, and one way we can stay sober.

If you think you can manage using Twitter without relapsing - hats off to you. I have my doubts. Best of luck.

Thanks for taking the time to watch the video.

I understand your point of view. We don't masturbate in public, or we find it easy to avoid staring in public (because we don't want to appear like perverts in front of others).

But what about surfing the internet? Like I said, don't you ever visit websites? Shopping websites are full of bikini ads in the summer.

My point is, when it comes to limiting what you see, I agree with you 100%, but there's got to be some self-control.

Thanks for taking the time to help me.
 
My point is, when it comes to limiting what you see, I agree with you 100%, but there's got to be some self-control.

my points is
limiting what you see *is* the self control.

especially early in recovery / NoFap streak. I dont know how long your sobriety streak is right now, but I am extremely vulnerable to relapse in the first 2-3 weeks. I actually didnt go outside for the first 2 weeks of my recent streak. Now Im 90 days sober.

recovery is life and death for me, sacrificing minor annoyances like browsing the internet is A-OK for me. Most sex addicts have blockers and avoid particular sites - yes - even ones with bikini ads. Later in recovery we can revisit those guard rails to see if we still need them.

It really is up to you how seriously you want to kick PMO addiction / how seriously you want to take recovery.
 
Life without social media is entirely possible. Extensive research unequivocally demonstrates that social media is detrimental to our well-being.




"One 2020 study found people who had quit social media saw improvements in their close relationships, and were pleased to be free of comparison with others."

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17459435.2020.1817140




"In a 2018 study, researchers assessed the psychological state of 143 American undergraduates before randomly assigning one group a daily ten-minute limit for Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, per platform. Three weeks later, those who limited their social media use showed significantly lower levels of loneliness and depression."

https://www.researchgate.net/public...ial_Media_Decreases_Loneliness_and_Depression



So, consider deleting social media as they can consume a lot of time, lead to feelings of depression, and make it harder to overcome porn addiction.
 
my points is
limiting what you see *is* the self control.

especially early in recovery / NoFap streak. I dont know how long your sobriety streak is right now, but I am extremely vulnerable to relapse in the first 2-3 weeks. I actually didnt go outside for the first 2 weeks of my recent streak. Now Im 90 days sober.

recovery is life and death for me, sacrificing minor annoyances like browsing the internet is A-OK for me. Most sex addicts have blockers and avoid particular sites - yes - even ones with bikini ads. Later in recovery we can revisit those guard rails to see if we still need them.

It really is up to you how seriously you want to kick PMO addiction / how seriously you want to take recovery.

I understand that.

But you should know, if you avoid looking at women for 90 days straight, you can lose control even after seeing an ad featuring a woman in a bikini. So I'm not suggesting you should 'practice looking'. But avoiding looking at women altogether didn't work for me; it only increased my vulnerability. Unfortunately, we live in an immodest world, and there's absolutely nothing we can do about it. Perhaps we could join some extremist religious cults, but that doesn't seem feasible to me.


Life without social media is entirely possible. Extensive research unequivocally demonstrates that social media is detrimental to our well-being.




"One 2020 study found people who had quit social media saw improvements in their close relationships, and were pleased to be free of comparison with others."

https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/17459435.2020.1817140




"In a 2018 study, researchers assessed the psychological state of 143 American undergraduates before randomly assigning one group a daily ten-minute limit for Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat, per platform. Three weeks later, those who limited their social media use showed significantly lower levels of loneliness and depression."

https://www.researchgate.net/public...ial_Media_Decreases_Loneliness_and_Depression



So, consider deleting social media as they can consume a lot of time, lead to feelings of depression, and make it harder to overcome porn addiction.

100%! Thank you!

Today was actually my first day without social media. Tomorrow evening, I'm planning to surf for 15 minutes. I intend to limit myself to 15 minutes every two days at this point; I can't quit altogether just yet.
 
Back
Top