Failed again

Hey Fran,

don't give up, you can do this. I suggest you find a good accountability partner you can count on so you keep an eye on each other. I mean for real, like checking one on another every hour or so.

In addition I recommend you track your daily habits, as many as possible, especially the "risky" ones like being alone with a computer, etc. In this post I explain how I do my habit tracking. That'll help you not only being more conscious about PMO but also track your improvement in other areas, which you should anyways to substitute PMO.

 

hi fran,

set yourself a realistic goal maybe 40 or 50 days.

and change your mindset. every single abstinent day is a win - is a gift for your brain.

three weeks abstinence - that is very good. that was a healing rest for your brain. start again and beat three weeks.

this is a long progress. relapsing is a part of it. you can not get cured with a snap.

the fight goes on. good luck.

 

I totally agree with Monkotto, the time before your relapse was not wasted time! Be proud of that and continue with new energy.

You are not starting over from scratch, you went a long way already. Keep going strong!

 

First of all: Don't worry, you are not alone.

My advice: Set up your mined, and then start a journal, Post there every day. At least a short line, every day. I just started a new hard mode phase myself - I am committed myself to go until Christmas (in fact, I don't want to go back ever), and I will be posting here every day in my journal. So we can be "AP", at least by checking the journals.

To my experience, it is important to not "just focus on NoFap" -- it is importnat to FOCUS ON GOALS, FOCUS ON A MEANINGFUL LIFE. Then the addiction fades away by itself.

I found there are three main "needs" which are needed to keep every human balanced:

1) Productive work - everything what is meaningful and helpful inyour life, whatevet this is, not just your "work for living". In the ideal case, your greatest hobby is also your work for living.
2) Social contacts - family, friends, colleagues: Seing them, meeting them, and also taking action, taking decisions, taking responsibility, leading groups, "standing up", having an opinion, etc.
3) A healthy body -- enough sleep, good food, no drugs, regular exercising, meditation, hygiene ...

Every one of these three needs to be activated. If you deny one, then a gap opens up, and it will be filled by the addiciton. Overall, you need to be organized to keep all three points in balance.

 

always remember why you started when there is temptation.