Failed cold approach

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Mankrik, Apr 24, 2018.

  1. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    Been working up some courage for cold approach because I don't really know any girls. Tried to talk to this girl today but was a terrible attempt. Extremely brief montone conversation followed by akward silence then she put her headphones on and kept walking. I then sheepishly waved goodbye.

    I'm not usually socially akward or bad at talking to girls this was the worst I have ever done. I guess she just didn't want to talk to me and I shouldn't feel bad about it. Maybe she was shy or a ***** but she wasn't interested in talking. Also think she was considerably older than me. Still better than not trying at all though. Cold approach and thin skin don't mix so I'm not broken up about it or anything. Just makes finding someone feel so out of reach. I want to keep trying but it's hard to stay confident when stuff like this happens. Done feeling sorry for myself though I'm going to keep talking to people.
     
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  2. Jeff69__

    Jeff69__ New Fapstronaut

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    Don't worry about it. Every rock chipped is one less place to look, you'll find the gold.
     
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  3. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Think about it from the woman's perspective. She's minding her own business. Most likely not in the mood to interact at the moment. Then suddenly out of nowhere a stranger comes up to her and starts talking. What does he want? Why is he talking to me? She's not exactly ready to socialize. So of course, you're going to have to do most of the work at first. Anyone would be suspicious of why a stranger is suddenly talking to them and interrupting what they were doing in their alone time. When you're not good at this, it's even worst because she's not able to tell what your purpose is.

    If cold approach is really the way you want to go about meeting people, then you're basically trying to develop pickup skills. Which is trying to pickup random strangers of your choosing and trying to convince them why you're worth their time. Tough skill to develop.

    Personally, I pursue my interests through classes / clubs / meetups / communities / etc. I invest and contribute in those. I build rapport with the people there that I see on a regular basis. When I talk to anybody there, I'm not a stranger. I'm a person that has the same interest as them. I'm on the same path / journey as them. I'm someone that they've been seeing around. We have things to talk about and learn from each other. We share fun, carefree, and passionate enthusiasm for the same things. Rather than a random stranger taking a chance on a random stranger who has to be convinced to take a chance on a random stranger. Might as well do Tinder.
     
  4. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    Well we were in the same class actually even though this was the first time we met. I know I need to get involved and meet people I don't have any friends. I'm just reluctant to do so - don't know what club I should join and I don't live at the school like everyone else. I joined a club and it was mostly girls but I didn't like anyone and it caused me to have a bunch of annoying duties and responsibilities. I just want to be in a committed relationship and for everyone else to just fuck off but maybe that's asking too much.

    What clubs are you in? Need some inspiration
     
  5. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    You joined a club you had no interest in for the sake of finding a relationship? I'm pretty sure they caught on to that since you weren't enjoying yourself or took any interest in what you were doing. That's like some creepy guy who doesn't like yoga going there just to prey on women.

    How would you knowing what my personal interests are inspire you? That's something you need to find on your own. If you don't know what you're interested in, then you should really find out.

    Yes... as long as you get what you want nothing and nobody else matters right? You won't get far with that self centered mindset.
     
  6. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    I joined the club thinking I would like it not even thinking about girls but I didn't and so it kind of turned me off of the idea. I was still an active contributor and socialized it was just really boring. Im just curious about what types of activities others do because I don't really know where to start. And I kind of worded that last part wrong - I just mean that I don't need a large social circle or anything. Finding a connetion with one person would be enough for me to not feel lonely anymore.
     
  7. FelixMichael

    FelixMichael Fapstronaut

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    Dude, try not to make a relationship the ultimate goal of your life.

    Have fun and socialise. But also get s**t done, since it boost your confidence. And if there is one thing women love, it's confidence. More than money more than fame.

    I advise you to read "12 rules for life an antidote to chaos". Atleast check it out.
    And also check out Corey Wayne.

    Go to clubs for the sake of having a great time.

    Stay positive and stay strong. Best of luck !
     
  8. Duellant

    Duellant Fapstronaut

    Cold approach - I like that! Well done. Are you finished licking your wounds? Then go for another try! Just stay positive and don't think about it too much. The most learning happens unknowingly, automatic.
    Cold or warm - I WANT TO SEE MORE APPROACHES MAN!

    And who's talking? I'm afraid to approach at all. But I can't wait any longer! Cold approach on cold approaches! Wish me luck brother and ... balls.

    Seize the day
     
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  9. {Ananta}

    {Ananta} Fapstronaut

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    you need to find your own personal happiness an find hobbies that get you excited about it then this radiates within you attracting the opposite sex or same sex which ever the specialty , ive worked in the resturant industry most my life an i find if you work part time at a job with lots of co workers interacting, if your busy demonstrating your skills this emulates an draws people in , focus on being yourself an interact with several people at a time i find it easy working in a resturant with attractive co workers ,we hang out on the off hours , i plan on taking vocal lessons for singing, its what i desire an if its meant to be then there well be other attractive students i can practice our vocals with , but its about desire you need to desire the hobbie or desire the club of whatever, the last girl that hinted we should hang out was at work she is in a eco environment club save the trees , save earth type stuff because we also fall into deep disccusions of earth friendly stuff im enivironmentally conscious
     
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  10. {Ananta}

    {Ananta} Fapstronaut

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    its about our desire, you desire a certain lady get to know about her about what she loves what she desires untill you stumble upon something you both desire
     
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  11. immadothis

    immadothis Fapstronaut

    you problem is, you are needy, just do chit chat talk(short talk), just use simple sentences bruh , and you good, and then go away, you can see from body language if she wants to talk or nah, and if she doesn't wanna talk, be okay with it, you're a man bro, if she doesn't has time, then she ain't worth your time, if you don't like doing something and it doens't improve you then don't do it,

    do this, stop doing things that make you weak and start doing things that make you strong
     
  12. Somnambulist

    Somnambulist Fapstronaut

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    Not every girl will want to talk, so don't take it personally. A lot of girls get frustrated that they can't seem to do anything without being hit on. I overhear conversations at college all the time about how they just want to be left alone. Try to keep how they might be feeling in mind. They're human.

    When speaking to them, try a shared experience. Speak as though you haven't noticed she's a woman. Don't immediately start asking her about herself. That's a good way to give off creeper vibes. Maybe the bus is taking too long. Maybe the weather is abnormal. Maybe there's a drunk shouting at people. If she gives you her attention, expand from there. If not, don't worry about it.
     
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