1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Failed to Control it many many times.!!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by khustle, Nov 27, 2016.

Tags:
  1. khustle

    khustle Fapstronaut

    6
    5
    3
    I have been watching porn since 10-12 years or may be more not sure exactly.
    As far I remember the longest time I had been on Nofap is for 1 month I think.
    Remaining all the years i have been doing this sometimes voluntarily and sometimes without even noticing or doing at a natural thing.
    I really feel it is bad, but not sure how to control doing it.
    I feel I am wasting a lot of my valuable time and energy unnecessarily on this, and I am not able to get out of it.
    But, I am optimistic and I hope I can come out of this mess and have my life back.
     
    CCaptainMan251 and D . J . like this.
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap! You are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and not judge you!
     
  3. NoFap is more than not jerking off. Its a lifestyle and boy is it difficult. If you look at the front page of NoFap.com I believe they have a page about the basics of NoFap and it may be a good start to getting a new grip on life.

    Another page that has been an encouragement to me is www.howtostopmasturbation.com

    A Christian site and very insightful. I'm simply letting you know it's Christian so no one thinks I'm trying indoctrinate.

    I hope you find strength in this battle. It may feel like a fight for your life sometimes. Dont get discouraged. We've all been there. This journey sucks sometimes. But it'll make a man out of a boy.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  4. khustle

    khustle Fapstronaut

    6
    5
    3
    Thanks CCaptianMan25, the link you gave is really amazing !!.I got to know really good information.
    I am already taking steps as it was mentioned in that article.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  5. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  6. Any time!
     
  7. khustle

    khustle Fapstronaut

    6
    5
    3
    Hi DJ Fapstronaut.
    I do not have any strategy to combat PMO.
    But, I controlled myself for 8 days starting from the day I first wrote about my problem on this site.
    I think that helped me to control myself.

    After 8 days, I relapsed and masturbated two times today.
    I think, I am trying to understand the process that is leading me to relapse.
    I am putting myself in a situation to relapse and that is causing me to do it.
    Some of the things that are leading to it:
    - Being lonely.
    - Automatically opening porn sites xvideos.com.
    - Not doing the things I had to do and not going out of my room.
    - Not sleeping early and watching porn in the night.
    - Not waking up early and not planning the day or do the tasks need to be done that day.
    - Seeing some sexy content in youtube.com and searching the same in xvideos.com.

    Usually, it starts with watching some explicit content somewhere(google, youtube etc.) and it excites to see more exciting content(porn) and finally making me relapse.

    I think I should make myself busy with some useful stuff and focus on my tasks by priority.

    I would really appreciate if you could suggest any strategies that I need to follow to get out of this.

    I am 70kg now, I am trying to gain some more weight, but I think this PMO is just killing it..!!
     
    D . J . likes this.
  8. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Here is a growing collection of startup strategies compiled from myself and I've added some from others on NoFap. Keep these in mind. This is by no means a be-all-end-all list of suggestions but it is a list for you to use and add to for yourself and modify to meet your needs.
    1. Delete all of the P that you have from your computer and smartphone including the browser history and cookies. This will not stop you but will slow you down.
    2. Identify your triggers. What are the things that you happening in your world to cause you to turn to PMO for escape and comfort! This is the most crucial step in the process.
    3. Once your triggers are identified, determine healthy ways of dealing with those triggers such as exercise, running, leaving the stressful situation and going outside for air.
    4. Follow this link to find out what NoFap is about. Within this link is a link to a glossary of terms commonly used on NoFap. This will help you communicate knowledgeably and more effectively. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/newbies-list-of-rebooting-resources.50878/
    5. Go to http://yourbrainonporn.com/ to learn more about the effect PMO has on you. Do this also to educate yourself on the damage you are doing to yourself.
    6. Guard your eyes. Be careful of what you allow yourself to see. No, you cannot live with your eyes closed but you can determine how long you look at something. If you know it may cause you to fall, flee from it! Run in the other direction, sometimes that need to be literal.
    7. Stop placing yourself in situations where the situation has leverage over you. That means stop placing yourself where you know you may get weak and either give in at the moment or later on.
    8. When you see yourself beginning to be in a bad situation (ex. alone with a computer and horny), say what you feel or know you are about to do or likely to do so you can hear yourself say it. (Ex. "I'm alone in a room [with a computer] and I'm feeling lonely [or whatever the emotion is] and horny and I want to [watch watch porn and] masturbate but if I do that, I will have lost the progress I've made". By hearing you say what you are about to do, you may realize the price you pay is not worth what you will receive in return.
    9. Masturbation... do not keep your hands to yourself. Unless you are bathing, changing your underwear or actually using the bathroom, your hands should be nowhere near your penis. YOU ARE BANNED FROM TOUCHING YOUR PENIS FOR RECREATION!!! IT IS NOT A TOY!!!
    10. Your bed is limited to only the time you are sleeping. No laying in bed other than that. As soon you awake, you should get out of bed. Can't sleep, if awake for more than a few minutes, get out of bed until you are sleepy enough to go to sleep.
    11. Keep doors open unless necessary. You need to be isolated as little as possible. You're less likely to M when people can see you.
    12. Keep curtains and blinds open as much as possible. Similar reason as above and also allows light inside. Many time M'ing is more likely in dark places.
    13. At night, keep lights on as often as possible. Similar to above, lights on may lessen your desire to fap.
    14. If you are a naked sleeper or a boxer sleeper, consider sleeping in a in jockstrap, cup or briefs or compression shorts, something more constrictive so that you are less likely to feel movement while falling asleep or when awaking. They may provide a better barrier to prevent those that subconsciously reach for their penis at night or in the morning. They may also be a visual barrier for those that have morning erections too irresistible to not touch.
    15. Begin a journal so that others can encourage you and connect with you.
    16. Become active in this community. The more active you are, the less time you will spend focused on you. The less time focused solely on you, the faster time goes. There is an old saying, "a watched pot of water doesn't boil any faster", which means for this example, focusing solely on yourself and your issues won't make them go away sooner. It's OK to track progress but when spending more time doing other things that were once important to you and encouraging others, you will notice the time of your sobriety will go so much faster than if you didn't.
    17. Remember that whatever you feed will grow and whatever you starve will eventually die! Each time you PMO you feed the addiction, each time you resist, you starve the addiction.
    This a journey. Unless you began your addiction yesterday, don't expect to have complete victory by tomorrow. It takes time. We are here for you for as long as it takes.
    Your triggers will be those things that occur and you find yourself wanting to turn to PMO for escape and comfort. There are visual triggers that may be avoided but the emotional triggers are much more difficult to avoid. Here are some common emotional triggers:
    • Laziness
    • Fear
    • Hunger
    • Anger/ aggravation / frustration
    • Lonliness
    • Tiredness
    • Depression
    • Inebriation
    • Depression
    • General stress
    • Need for control
    • Boredom
     
    Rahul M and khustle like this.
  9. khustle

    khustle Fapstronaut

    6
    5
    3
    Thanks Man..You are great..!!
     
  10. khustle

    khustle Fapstronaut

    6
    5
    3
    Just figured it is better to write down my progress and the things I do every day.
    Day 1:
    It went well, though I didn't do any productive work because of no sleep yesterday night.
    I just ate and slept. After reading the above steps, I made sure I will not lock the door and kept it open.
    I did not open any porn sites and just saw some video songs.
    Did work out in the evening, had protein shakes and proper food.
    Worked in the night for couple of hours.
     
    D . J . likes this.

Share This Page