Failure and dilemma

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Homo sapien., Apr 29, 2024.

  1. Homo sapien.

    Homo sapien. Fapstronaut

    I don't know if it's stress or if I'm just not serious enough, but I've relapsed again. What's making me more anxious and stressed is the cluelessness of what to do next. I feel like giving up on everything. I did my best during January and February, but in the end, I fell again. I think everything is lost, and I feel like a failure. I need advice, a different perspective on the pitfalls in my life. It's causing hopelessness and a vengeful mood; I don't know how to describe it. I don't know what problems I have in my life or where I can go from here. Death seems easier than facing the consequences of all this.
    Cluelessness is the darkness around and mind is not working properly.
     
  2. Ashaz Khan

    Ashaz Khan Fapstronaut

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    Hey man,
    I was in the same position as you, just last relapse.
    It is that weird feeling of extreme guilt, unhappiness, feeling like a Complete piece of trash inside, usually I would psyche myself up and go nofap again.

    But it was different the last few times, I had already done it hundreds of times, people say that if your streak is increasing you are making progress, but my largest streak was 6 months ago, so I got even more hopeless and blank. The post but clarity was hitting hard, suicidal thoughts were cropping up.

    But then a thought came up like words from God himself - if not you then who will? With the rise of AI and VR it would not take long before porn entirely replicates real life, if you declare your end here who is gonna save your beloved family, friends and co-workers from the bitter end, there are very few men who have the ability resist this for even a day, there is no one else on the face of the earth who will care about your family and friends than you. You cannot give up.

    Now the 'why?' to quit was crystal clear, the 'how?' remained after sitting on my couch thinking for an hour about it I made my plan, it was idiotic to just block everything up and throw your phone in lava, as it would just be a matter of time until the veil was off. So here is what I did will could surely help you as well -
    1) The Winner effect - start doing something small yet productive and meaningful, in the initial days grab small victories and build up momentum for the bigger challenges, you way less likely to go to cheap pleasures.
    2) Visualise success and forsee failure - set aside few minutes to visualize your ideal day, here is where many people mess up, do not visualize your all-powerful self from 5 years later, your goal (at least for now) is to get through the first few day of intense guilt and shame, visualize your ideal day to follow and your breezing through it. Also see where you may fail during the day, and come up with solutions to prevent it, a failure can be anything, even non-nofap stuff like failing your personal goals for the day, since we usually relapse when we are feeling bad weather that be by porn or something else.
    3) Meditate for 5 to 15 minutes every day, if you miss it do not mentally critize yourself for it, a habit takes time to form.

    Follow this and I promise you shall be out of your current situation and in the path to success.
     
    ThePerspicacious likes this.
  3. Homo sapien.

    Homo sapien. Fapstronaut

    I meditate for approx 1hour in 5 parts of average 15 min, Fajar, Zuhr, Asr Magrib and Isha.
    Or if it is needed to do like we see people on YouTube.
    It sounds worthy and I think it is like Mindfulness.
    Yes it is also courageous to imagine failures and hardships beforehand.
    This one is very much needed for me as i think like a perfectionist. Hindering the importance of tasks at hand, I find satisfaction in completing the whole work. And that is not always the case. So,
    To sum up,
    1. Small tasks done firstly.
    2. Mindfulness of time to come.
    3. Meditate.
    انشاءاللہ
    آمین۔
    Same for you... @Ashaz Khan.
    Bundle of thanks.
    .....
    No doubt it feels like suicide and etc. It feels like what the hell we do now.
    Your words worth alot to me. Will follow it.
    Live long.
     
  4. Homo sapien.

    Homo sapien. Fapstronaut

    Yes, we'll reform for the sake of God.
    You said true.
     
  5. Dying Light

    Dying Light Fapstronaut

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    Ask yourself how can I make my life better? What problems am I facing? Do I forcing myself or not? Try to enjoy life, do what feels good but avoid pmo. Make your mind stronger . Because we are surrounded by social media and everything goes back to it. You can't just avoid social media easily. Try making short streaks. If you can't commit to longer streaks. Our brain changes only when we start to enjoy things. Forcing to do anything won't change the brain too much. It's like reading all day to find that u didn't learn anything.
     
    Lassquwuquwuw and Homo sapien. like this.
  6. Ashaz Khan

    Ashaz Khan Fapstronaut

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    Congrats! You are well on your way to recovery, it proves that you are doing well in the mental and spiritual area of life, all 5 namazes is a habit I am trying to get into, happy to hear that you are already in the habit!

    It just means that you only need to replace the defective parts, ie, the things you need to improve on,

    1) If you get urges are occasional or you randomly get some bad stuff which causes you to relapse, I think this video by Andrew huberman would help you a ton to improve willpower (it is a long one) -


    2) if it is a constant habit or you want to build a habit to replace the bad stuff then this one will help -

    3) finally, it may be your belief system and your self-identity that is holding you back, Physco-Cybernetics is the best book to fix that, you get get yourself a copy of it or look it up on Google to get a free digital copy for it

    It will soon pass away, we are living in times where even the shaitan (devil) would be surprised looking at this sinful world. But when we make progress, we will be happy, the people who care about us will be happy, but most importantly, God (Allah) who loves us more than any earthly being woulding be looking from above, smiling.

    We may relapse again and fail again but as long as we make progress it does not matter.

    جَزَاكَ ٱللَّٰهُ خَيْرًا
    Thank you for those kind words, we are all in the same boat and will make it one day.

    Good luck!
     
    Homo sapien. likes this.
  7. Homo sapien.

    Homo sapien. Fapstronaut

    OK. I'll figure it out soon.
    I just left it, even i put YT the only Social Media app I used in a folder. Made an account for YT just dedicated to useful videos and it's algorithm recommends me just good stuff.
    But, As I always remain obsessed and stressed; when it hits a peak, like yesterday, I do it. MAY ALLAH FORGIVE ME.
     
    Dying Light likes this.
  8. Homo sapien.

    Homo sapien. Fapstronaut

    I'll go through that currently facing life's other hardships. My mother is seriously ill. BTW make dua for every Ummati, may everyone get out of troubles, we are surrounded with.
    Ameen
     
    Dying Light likes this.