failure !

vercent99

vercent99

Fapstronaut
at this point it seems like i almost gave up, i keep returning to PMO, i delete the porn folders and then a few days later have a bigger folder, i stop 3 days then i go back to daily, i dont know what i did different when i was on my highest 16 day streak

it feels like im fighting a bully who i know is stronger and bigger than me so it feels like a pointless war and all i can do is postpone it

right now every other day i do PMO or maximum 2-3 days, at least its not once a day but as u see, thats again a statement from the idiotic part of me that keeps me doing PMO

i tried to do only MO without P which i didnt do for years, and i just dont like it, harder to get an erection, when i ejaculate it feels so useless like i wasted my time, but at the other hand, with porn i waste too much time by having too much fun watching those new videos, the dopamine rush, i edge for hours and sometimes dont even ejaculate to keep watching more, even though i know the effects mentally and physically, im truely a sad idiot shit

every single time i get back into the cycle, what should i do !!!
 
vercent99 said:
at this point it seems like i almost gave up, i keep returning to PMO, i delete the porn folders and then a few days later have a bigger folder, i stop 3 days then i go back to daily, i dont know what i did different when i was on my highest 16 day streak

it feels like im fighting a bully who i know is stronger and bigger than me so it feels like a pointless war and all i can do is postpone it

right now every other day i do PMO or maximum 2-3 days, at least its not once a day but as u see, thats again a statement from the idiotic part of me that keeps me doing PMO

i tried to do only MO without P which i didnt do for years, and i just don't like it, harder to get an erection, when i ejaculate it feels so useless like i wasted my time, but at the other hand, with porn i waste too much time by having too much fun watching those new videos, the dopamine rush, i edge for hours and sometimes dont even ejaculate to keep watching more, even though i know the effects mentally and physically, im truely a sad idiot shit

every single time i get back into the cycle, what should i do !!!
Click to expand...
Bro don't give up. We know you can beat this addiction. You have the powers to beat it. Feel like there is someone who wants to change your mind and ruin your life but don't get diverted by him. Never feel you are doing this. Always feel that someone is trying to change thoughts in your mind and you have to not let him do so. You are strong enough to rule your mind and body. You can't let anything to change your mind. Don't try M or O without P. Beat all three of them because all three of them are destroying you. But we know that you will destroy them.

And never feel that you are alone. We are all with you. Your this bro will help you to beat this addiction. Whenever you feel an urge or you feel sad and depressed just message me and I'll help you. Don't hesitate to message. We are all friends. Start from day one and lets beat this PMO together. Dude join us in this fight.
 
vercent99 said:
at this point it seems like i almost gave up, i keep returning to PMO, i delete the porn folders and then a few days later have a bigger folder, i stop 3 days then i go back to daily, i dont know what i did different when i was on my highest 16 day streak

it feels like im fighting a bully who i know is stronger and bigger than me so it feels like a pointless war and all i can do is postpone it

right now every other day i do PMO or maximum 2-3 days, at least its not once a day but as u see, thats again a statement from the idiotic part of me that keeps me doing PMO

i tried to do only MO without P which i didnt do for years, and i just dont like it, harder to get an erection, when i ejaculate it feels so useless like i wasted my time, but at the other hand, with porn i waste too much time by having too much fun watching those new videos, the dopamine rush, i edge for hours and sometimes dont even ejaculate to keep watching more, even though i know the effects mentally and physically, im truely a sad idiot shit

every single time i get back into the cycle, what should i do !!!
Click to expand...
Read books... Reading is also the way to succesfull life in general, make reading a habit, I read 4 hours a day.
 
It doesn't matter how good your strategy is if you can't follow through on it, and traditionally addiction recovery involves a lot of social support. This can be especially challenging for people who are more introverted or just don't tend to socialize that much, but as someone who is that way let me say you NEED to do it. IMO all these Zoom meetings really amounts to a small fraction of the traditional face to face meetings but people seem to be mostly oblivious to this and are not really doing much to change it, but still it is better than nothing.

There are limited options for AP groups but you can also look at sex addiction related groups or just general addiction recovery groups that doesn't revolve around a particular thing. Just remember it's all volunteer and you can't expect your first experience (or second, or third) to be the best thing and totally do it for you. People who are a part of it are at varying levels of recovery and there are different takes, but again it's better than nothing and up to you to sort it out.
 
vercent99 said:
at this point it seems like i almost gave up, i keep returning to PMO, i delete the porn folders and then a few days later have a bigger folder, i stop 3 days then i go back to daily, i dont know what i did different when i was on my highest 16 day streak

it feels like im fighting a bully who i know is stronger and bigger than me so it feels like a pointless war and all i can do is postpone it

right now every other day i do PMO or maximum 2-3 days, at least its not once a day but as u see, thats again a statement from the idiotic part of me that keeps me doing PMO

i tried to do only MO without P which i didnt do for years, and i just dont like it, harder to get an erection, when i ejaculate it feels so useless like i wasted my time, but at the other hand, with porn i waste too much time by having too much fun watching those new videos, the dopamine rush, i edge for hours and sometimes dont even ejaculate to keep watching more, even though i know the effects mentally and physically, im truely a sad idiot shit

every single time i get back into the cycle, what should i do !!!
Click to expand...
Well, it is a real advice. I had a nice 14 day streak, I had a wet dream twice but I didn't cum, it was only precum. Bit upon waking up I was so horny. It was so good that i could not stop myself after a battle in my mind from MO. I relapsed.
Time to start again. Though in the morning I felt a loser but looking in my eyes I realized I am a worrier. I just have to start again
 
vercent99 said:
at this point it seems like i almost gave up, i keep returning to PMO, i delete the porn folders and then a few days later have a bigger folder, i stop 3 days then i go back to daily, i dont know what i did different when i was on my highest 16 day streak

it feels like im fighting a bully who i know is stronger and bigger than me so it feels like a pointless war and all i can do is postpone it

right now every other day i do PMO or maximum 2-3 days, at least its not once a day but as u see, thats again a statement from the idiotic part of me that keeps me doing PMO

i tried to do only MO without P which i didnt do for years, and i just dont like it, harder to get an erection, when i ejaculate it feels so useless like i wasted my time, but at the other hand, with porn i waste too much time by having too much fun watching those new videos, the dopamine rush, i edge for hours and sometimes dont even ejaculate to keep watching more, even though i know the effects mentally and physically, im truely a sad idiot shit

every single time i get back into the cycle, what should i do !!!
Click to expand...
Well, it is a real advice. I had a nice 14 day streak, I had a wet dream twice but I didn't cum, it was only precum. Bit upon waking up I was so horny. It was so good that i could not stop myself after a battle in my mind from MO. I relapsed.
Time to start again. Though in the morning I felt a loser but looking in my eyes I realized I am a worrier. I just have to start again
 
Josphat said:
Well, it is a real advice. I had a nice 14 day streak, I had a wet dream twice but I didn't cum, it was only precum. Bit upon waking up I was so horny. It was so good that i could not stop myself after a battle in my mind from MO. I relapsed.
Time to start again. Though in the morning I felt a loser but looking in my eyes I realized I am a worrier. I just have to start again
Click to expand...
yesterday i had a wetdream too, and today i was continuously choosing between "i want that feeling again so lets do PMO" and "u already had a wetdream so count that as if u did PMO today and go try another 2 days without PMO" and today i sticked with the second one, so i am now on day 2 again but it was hard, when i had my longest streak of 16 days, it only got hard at day 10&11 and then 14&15&16, now its already on day 1&2 hard and i dont know why its so hard now!
 
Awedouble said:
It doesn't matter how good your strategy is if you can't follow through on it, and traditionally addiction recovery involves a lot of social support. This can be especially challenging for people who are more introverted or just don't tend to socialize that much, but as someone who is that way let me say you NEED to do it. IMO all these Zoom meetings really amounts to a small fraction of the traditional face to face meetings but people seem to be mostly oblivious to this and are not really doing much to change it, but still it is better than nothing.

There are limited options for AP groups but you can also look at sex addiction related groups or just general addiction recovery groups that doesn't revolve around a particular thing. Just remember it's all volunteer and you can't expect your first experience (or second, or third) to be the best thing and totally do it for you. People who are a part of it are at varying levels of recovery and there are different takes, but again it's better than nothing and up to you to sort it out.
Click to expand...
i used to be social and mostly extroverted till few years ago where i turned introverted but was still social, to when i got anti social and introverted in recent years especially 2018+ and i am sure PMO played a part of it

PMO made me more anti social and introverted
PMO made me have a bad sleep schedule for years till now (because i dont PMO during day as i live with family)

or to be more correct, I made me do it..i wasted many oppurtinities in life and i regret them a lot even if i try to act like i move on, i use gaming to ignore the real life, sad reality, which again i ignore by gaming more

and by gaming so much i have constant back pain but i have no hobbies, really pathetic sitting at home 24/7 gaming then PMO then sleep
 
sonic123rainbow said:
Read books... Reading is also the way to succesfull life in general, make reading a habit, I read 4 hours a day.
Click to expand...
i remember 2010-2011-2012 i would go to the library to borrow books and ready many, i had usually fun, but now i hate reading, its because i became too lazy i am sure, so many things i want to change about myself but i dont know how or where to begin, i followed advice to fix my anger issues as well but i still have much anger

right now i am just ignoring my issues by gaming because then i dont have any responsibilities or at least act like i dont, and makes me forget all
 
i remember when i was stuyding hard to get A's & B's now when i study for 30 seconds im too distracted and no focus and bored, even though i am supossed to go to college after lockdown for engineer, how can an engineer be so lazy, its my dream to be an engineer so i am sure i have a part of me that can fix it, the part of me that has the compassion but overwrite the lazy part
 
vercent99 said:
i used to be social and mostly extroverted till few years ago where i turned introverted but was still social, to when i got anti social and introverted in recent years especially 2018+ and i am sure PMO played a part of it

PMO made me more anti social and introverted
PMO made me have a bad sleep schedule for years till now (because i dont PMO during day as i live with family)

or to be more correct, I made me do it..i wasted many oppurtinities in life and i regret them a lot even if i try to act like i move on, i use gaming to ignore the real life, sad reality, which again i ignore by gaming more

and by gaming so much i have constant back pain but i have no hobbies, really pathetic sitting at home 24/7 gaming then PMO then sleep
Click to expand...

Well this really works both ways. If you can have a sleep streak of even a few days I'd say you have a better chance of not acting out with PMO. I think a lot of people think of the causation as one way but just flip that around and even though each of these things may not be as strong of a pull as PMO doing something about them can make for a better reboot.

I know socializing is especially hard right now but that's why it's even more important to do it.
 
vercent99 said:
thank you bro i read it, when i ended my longest streak instead of aiming for a higher streak i felt defeat and went like "might as well continue" which i never should have that mentality
Click to expand...
Believe me if you stop in the first relapse and dont binge or edge watching for hours, you will thank yourself. I edged somehow but managed not to fully relapse and now its like i didnt even do it because i controlled the whole thing and didnt binge.
 
Awedouble said:
Well this really works both ways. If you can have a sleep streak of even a few days I'd say you have a better chance of not acting out with PMO. I think a lot of people think of the causation as one way but just flip that around and even though each of these things may not be as strong of a pull as PMO doing something about them can make for a better reboot.

I know socializing is especially hard right now but that's why it's even more important to do it.
Click to expand...
i am now on day 4, its better than the usual 2 days but it feels like its been 2 weeks or even a month!

i do still go out like to get groceries or dentist appointments and i feel confident while being in public, but more around males like myself, around girls i became very shy and i avoid eye contact with people unless im talking to them (especially girls), and with hot girls my confidence drops to 0 and akwardness to 1000, even if i dont even want to engage with them
 
UnitedWeStand said:
Believe me if you stop in the first relapse and dont binge or edge watching for hours, you will thank yourself. I edged somehow but managed not to fully relapse and now its like i didnt even do it because i controlled the whole thing and didnt binge.
Click to expand...
my problem is edging, i cant watch porn for 10 mins, i do it for hours. i cant "rub one out quickly" and my doctor said edging is dangerous and i believe its the cause of my testicle issues (varicoceles, cysts, pain, etc)

so from one mate to another, please dont end up like me, do not edge!
 
vercent99 said:
at this point it seems like i almost gave up, i keep returning to PMO, i delete the porn folders and then a few days later have a bigger folder, i stop 3 days then i go back to daily, i dont know what i did different when i was on my highest 16 day streak

it feels like im fighting a bully who i know is stronger and bigger than me so it feels like a pointless war and all i can do is postpone it

right now every other day i do PMO or maximum 2-3 days, at least its not once a day but as u see, thats again a statement from the idiotic part of me that keeps me doing PMO

i tried to do only MO without P which i didnt do for years, and i just dont like it, harder to get an erection, when i ejaculate it feels so useless like i wasted my time, but at the other hand, with porn i waste too much time by having too much fun watching those new videos, the dopamine rush, i edge for hours and sometimes dont even ejaculate to keep watching more, even though i know the effects mentally and physically, im truely a sad idiot shit

every single time i get back into the cycle, what should i do !!!
Click to expand...
Exactly same position of me right now, brother.
 
UnitedWeStand said:
Yeah i know that..Try to fight it steadily. Reduce time edging after each relapse.
Click to expand...
i am convinced its the dopamine rush thats keep me going because i already have a porn folder and instead of choosing a video of the folder and being quick i edge for hours

right now my last two days was day 5 and day 3, now i am on day 1 again but i did edge less it was like 40 minutes while the one before it was 3 and half hour

in the past i used to do 5 or 6 hours
there is slow progress
 
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