"Fake Confidence" OR "Confidence Even if everything proove the opposite"

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by ASD_OZ, Feb 19, 2018.

Your Type of getting confidence

  1. "Fake Confidence" (Fake it till you make it !)

    1 vote(s)
    25.0%
  2. "Confidence Even if everything proove the opposite"

    2 vote(s)
    50.0%
  3. "I have a different method"

    1 vote(s)
    25.0%
  1. ASD_OZ

    ASD_OZ Fapstronaut

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    So doing pretty good at the NoFap challenge and I'm want to ask an interesting question that has been around me for a while now.

    It's about the "Fake confidence" skill.
    It is really helpful ?

    For me specifically , I always struggle with pick-up since I didn't have a girlfriend from before.
    so it's hard for me to assume that I can simply approach a girl and pretend I'm cool no matter the result.

    I was always a guy about sticking to it's real persona , but one of my friend's really inspired me with his skill to show confidence in stuff he doesn't know about.
    Okay, that kinda doesn't make sense , but his sheer confidence he emits, really gets to me sometimes.

    Anyway, what do you think about Fake Confidence, is it helpful for self improvident ?

    Update:


    So here and there I find that "fake confidence" isn't the best way to go for every1.
    The real question behind my post was :

    Where do find confidence where their seem to be no success

    The best one I'm considering for myself is "To BELIEVE even when everything proove the opposite." as being said by Daijimbo.
    It kinda reminds of the hero's in anime that never give up.
    Gives me that burning passion to get back up and try again !!.

    What do you think is better for you ?
    "Fake Confidence" OR "Confidence Even if everything proove the opposite"
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2018
  2. TheBigBadWolf

    TheBigBadWolf Fapstronaut

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    Hey ASD,

    Confidence is a mindset & a feeling you can get when you are 100% sure of something. "Faking till you make it" is a strategy that could be useful, but I don't believe there is a need for it. If you are not confident in yourself figure out why and prioritize fixing it. It's much better being confident for real than faking it just to come across as cool. Part of being confident in yourself is not caring about what someone thinks about you, that includes pretty girls too. If you are just starting out at talking to girls don't try to hide it. Instead embrace the fact that you are a "student" and go with the flow. The more and more you do it, the easier it gets.

    -TheBigBadWolf
     
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  3. Daijimbo

    Daijimbo Fapstronaut

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    So for you Fake confidence is the act of '' doing as if '' ?

    One principle that i found in a lot of book is that '' body and spirit '' are link.
    Act Happy if you want to feel Happy.

    I think this technique can HELP you to renforce your BELIEF that you are confident.
    Its pretty much like incantation or affirmation , if you say something with enought repetition or emotional intensity it can influence you.
    It will also influence how you think !!!! ( it also work in the opposite way ).

    This is the théorie , i am more used to say that if you change what you think , you will act differently.
    So i ask myself this question : Your trought , what you think right now '' will it give you the energy to act as if '' with full conviction ? ( or practice make perfect ? maybe :D )

    I also love an other concept : To BELIEVE even when everything proove the opposite.
    For me this is a very powerfull BELIEF ( because i only take the good part to renforce my belief )
     
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  4. zig

    zig Fapstronaut

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    fake confidence is nothing more than a type of acting and imo stems from insecurity and neediness. one of my favorite books (Models by Mark Manson) breaks this down amazingly well. to paraphrase, you develope authentic confidence by living a life with fulfilling hobbies that promote a better, more complete version of yourself. I can attest that focusing on yourself first makes you more measured and honest with your limitations. girl rejected me? No big deal, I'm focused on my development and my opinions first -- some random girl's opinion of me doesn't affect that. outcome independence = real confidence

    you're dependant on the outcome, and that's because you're assigning more value to a stanger's opinion of you than your own. this is needy behavior. you can remedy this with fake confidence all you want, but at the end of the day, you're only covering needy behavoir with a tepid layer of bullshit, and high quality women will see through it every time.
     
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  5. ASD_OZ

    ASD_OZ Fapstronaut

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    True , I wouldn't say that this was not the case.
    But right now in my life, I see nothing remotely as success.
    I still search for my first junior job position at the high tech industy and no dates with women I approach.

    This is the only thing that really hit me well. Even thou , I ain't sure if I think like that.:confused:
     
  6. Just try to hang out with women more, as friends even, just become more comfortable around them. They're just humans (without a penis) after all.
     
    Awakeatlast likes this.
  7. Mkngitwrk

    Mkngitwrk Fapstronaut

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    Find what insecurities are holding you back from being confident. Confidence is something that is natural not forced. Faking it is not a good idea as people will see straight through the bs. It is beautiful when a person is real cobfident and humble. Fake confidence to get women should not be the reason it should be to improve on yourself.
     
  8. DemonSemen

    DemonSemen Fapstronaut

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    Fake it till ya make it.
     
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  9. ASD_OZ

    ASD_OZ Fapstronaut

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    The topic ain't about talking to women specifically.
    I can talk with girls normally , the thing is the neediness of wanting the relationship that every young man and woman.
    Not to mention it can re-enforce the thought of not being confident enough to show her your interested in much more than just friendship.
     
  10. DemonSemen

    DemonSemen Fapstronaut

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    It’s not needy to want a relationship with someone. If you obsess and feel it is the only thing in life that will complete you, that’s another story. Wanting to be in a healthy relationship is a good thing.
     
  11. I think if you go around lying to women you'll get found out because isn't that what fake confidence ultimately is?
    Build confidence naturally by doing something you thought you could never do like running a marathon or learning to speak a new language.
    Maybe you should think about seeing a counselor as well.

    Sure you could fake your confidence and you might get a girl but if she's a good woman she won't be around for long when she figures out you're fake.
     
  12. ASD_OZ

    ASD_OZ Fapstronaut

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    That's not exactly the concept behind the "fake confidence"
    Sometimes we can be harsh on ourselves when we don't find good results.
    We do that because we wanna get better , however , to a certain extent it can break you for a day or more.
    Fake confidence can come from the same idea of "To BELIEVE even when everything proove the opposite." as being said by Daijimbo.

    I think I'll steer this post for the better, I'm going to change the title to "Finding confidence" and edit the main post.
     
    Awakeatlast likes this.

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