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Family issues

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by scote73, Jan 1, 2017.

  1. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut

    I'm not sure where this thread should be, so I chose to put it here.

    None of my friends are awake to help me deal with my emotions right now, so I've come here to vent.

    About 2 years ago, my sister and her BF moved into my house. As with all roomates and housemates, there are things that they do that irritate me. I'm not going to get into those details, but let's just say I held bitter feelings about it, but chose to keep them to myself because I struggle with conflict.

    Needless to say, all these feelings came out today. It started with a small argument with my sister that snowballed into a larger one (don't they all?). My sister is a very intuitive person - she was able to sense this bitterness eminating from me, even though I always did my best to pretend that everything was fine. I was initially confused as to how she could sense it, but I was able to realize with deeper self-reflection afterward that it manifested in other ways, like in my actions, my body language, the way I would say words and phrase sentences, etc. During this self-reflection, I was also able to realize that I chose to see the negatives about her, rather than her many positives. That helped to distort the illusion that *she* was difficult to live with.

    Anyway, the argument ended with her telling me that she was probably going to look for another place to live soon, which I don't blame her for saying. It wouldn't be easy for anyone to live with me under the conditions she was forced to live through. I take full responsibility for whatever happens after this.

    I just hope I'm man enough to be honest about this with her later.

    Happy F'n new year, everyone.
     
  2. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I would say that to benefit from venting/blowing off some team over this, you need to get into the details. The saying goes, "the devil is in the details"! It would also give you an opportunity to get some objective feedback from your peers on NoFap.
     
  3. Deadlihood

    Deadlihood Fapstronaut

    3,905
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    Sounds like a cunty situation to be in. Sorry.
     
  4. There's nothing worse than sharing a house with someone and they are getting sex but you aren't. That really is soul destroying. I'd have moved them out way before now. You've done well to last that long.
     
  5. Sorry I assumed, you don't have a partner/girlfriend living there also?
     
  6. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut

    @TooManlyForSalad

    In this case you were correct to assume, I have no girlfriend living with me. However, it really doesn't bother me that they're (probably) having sex and I'm not. I haven't had a single bitter thought about it, it's their right to express their love, and they shouldn't have to abstain themselves just because there's a single, lonely person in the house who's not having sex. It bothers me more to abstain from PMO than to abstain from sex anyway.

    @IGY

    It was mostly about me taking them for granted, which I did. I focused too much on their negatives to be appreciative of them. I never used words to tell them what I was feeling, but what I'm learning more and more is that you don't need to use words for your feelings to come out one way or another. To be clear, my feelings weren't wrong at all. However, the thoughts which lead to these feelings came from a very shallow perspective. It's safe to say, now, that I'm starting to widen my perspective a little bit more, and I'm not sweating the small stuff like I used to.

    Anyway, we had a conversation yesterday and things are much better now. I was able to man up, apologize, and own up to my mistakes. She also felt a little guilty that the argument got out of hand. It is my first personal victory of the year, and I'm proud that I was able to be honest instead of trying to sweep this under the rug.

    One thing I've learned from this is that it's still really difficult for me to appreciate exactly what I have. For 2017, my resolution is to work on that, while also trying to improve my life.
     
  7. IGY

    IGY Guest

    Well, this sounds like a win/win. :) Improving ourselves, especially how we interact with others is important. Well done! :cool:
     

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