Fantasies about wife sharing.

@Johhnny

No worries

sorry maybe I just didn't really understand what its all about and probably overly sensitive/ashamed that I let myself be videoed doing it so the husband can get off watching me. I guess it is a whole other world that goes deeper than what I was involved with.

 

You need to reach the core of the fetish

A person who has OCD often has a need to put things into order. This manifests in personal and different ways such as extensive cleaning or rearranging. If you had this desire or compulsion and it got to the point it controlled you, this essentially is where you are at with this fetish. You need to get to the root of it. For the example above, I dated a BPD who was a totalitarian control freak. She suffered from massive bouts of anxiety, especially when things were rough in our relationship or at work. These are when her OCD compulsions would come out the worst. In short, the root of her condition is control. The World is a chaotic place of unpredictable events. When a person has such an impulse to control everything in and around her this creates a lot of anxiety, especially because it's not possible. In moments where things seemed utterly chaotic the anxiety manifests to a point of breaking. The OCD compulsion is nothing more than a way to "vent" the anxiety. When life is chaotic or she has no control over things happening, a primitive way to feel better is to put inanimate object into orderly places. If you can't control your life, you will have an easier time controlling objects. The first order of business to her future battle to reclaim control is to start in the easiest way possible. By dictating and controlling where small things are and by putting everything in orderly places. This spells small relief and thus eases anxiety.

IN My Opinion:
In the case of the cuckold fetish. There is a psychological wound at hand. Whether self esteem issues or feelings of inadequacy there is something at play that makes you feel unworthy or inadequate. Self esteem is often made or broken through interactions with the opposite sex in early adolescence. Perhaps you were not the most popular person, a late bloomer or shy and awkward while your peers were meeting girls. I believe something triggers this condition. Perhaps an earlier girlfriend cheated on you. The feelings of shame and inadequacy are not only resurfacing but they are heightened and reinforced in this event. To alleviate the tremendous burden of anxiety or to process the formidable effects of ego annihilation through this reinforcement, the mind transforms the feelings into a method of sexual gratification to reduce the impact on the self. The fetish provides a release of these harmful feelings. The problem with the reward methods of the mind is the fact that each time the fantasy is carried out mentally and acted out through masturbation it begins to reinforce the pathways for pleasure. A masochistic tendency is born. Pleasure from the release of pain. This is why the act is usually followed by severe guilt, and feelings of shame. These feelings are at their core the cause of the whole condition in the first place.

I think you need to do some digging in the dirt. Figure out if it was parental relations or early adolescence events that caused a trauma to you. Figure out what triggered this. Seek help, let yourself off the hook. Let go of those painful emotions. Learn to love yourself. Learn you are worthy of real trust and real love. Finally, disengage from the reinforcement of the pleasure you get by stopping the fantasizing or at least slowly cutting back to a point of stopping. If you work on yourself while continuing to eliminate the carrying out of the fantasy itself, you will break the addiction and become more whole, sexually again.

 

May I just ask why you all feel it is so wrong to have that fantasy? You may find your wives/partners enjoy the idea...

 

Woah there's an actual addiction of this... Maybe i'm too egocentric but I would never share my wife/gf/dog with anyone, except another wifde/gf/dog ofc.

 

Even back when I put women on a pedestal this cuck shit made me uneasy. Now it makes me want to break furniture.

 

I've had this disgusting cuckold fetish ever since my fiance left me... 6 years ago.

This emasculating garbage ruined a ton of my sexual experiences all throughout my 20's. Not until I started actually accepting & embracing this lifestyle did it scare me. I found myself actually admitting it to a recent ex, and, as a porn addict herself, she fully embraced it as well. It was absolutely disgusting what I had become. It even got to the point where all of our dirty talk didn't even involve me (other than the "end" part, repulsive, don't even want to say it). I started intentionally failing at sex (losing my boner on purpose), for the sole reason of trying to initiate this in real life. Of course, this backwards relationship ended, for many reasons.

The only thing worse than porn is femdom, cuckolding porn. It will absolutely destroy you as a man.

 

This is actually a result of this emasculated feminist culture. Just look here to see how popular this has become among "men". It sickens me, and I am so ashamed of falling victim to it.

 

It is not a result of feminist culture at all. It is a result of porn addiction plain and simple. You move more and more towards the disturbing to get off. This is disturbing to you so it aroused your dopamine recepters. There is nothing to blame here but porn. Men also go towards sex with guys, children, transexuals, animals, incest....the list is endless. The rising interest in it is directly proportional to the rising interest in harder core porn. Porn is emasculating. It is the most emasculating substance on earth. Watching another man fucking a woman while you get off? Doesn't get more emasculating than this in my opinion. This is not to say that feminism has not contributed to emasculation of men but this issue is porn related 100%.

 

Here's two cents for the pile.

Wife sharing/swapping was a big fantasy of mine towards the latter stages of my PMO addiction. I don't remember how I stumbled across it at first, but once I found it I felt a massive surge of excitement. I didn't know what it was (and am still sorting out some of those feelings out today) but I was snared by it. I will echo previous commenters who said they were both put-off and turned-on at the same time. I didn't think this was something I should be getting excited by, but I was. It probably had a lot to do with my own feelings of inadequacy and inability to be sexually open with my wife. I began to fantasize about watching my wife with another man and it grew from there.

As my porn addiction grew and the sex between my wife and I fell off even more, I began to experience PIED. In the early stages it was just a weaker erection, maybe I would go numb after a few minutes and experience DE. Since the wife-sharing/cuckold porn I was watching always featured emasculated men watching their wives being serviced by larger, more capable men, I began to "click" with that. My fantasies about my wife continued to get more and more hardcore and we had even talked about bringing in other men. And she was darn close to acquiescing, too. If we had gone through with it, it would have ended our marriage. Not immediately, and not directly, but the fallout would have been something we never could have recovered from. I don't know if I could have recovered from it ever.

The swinger/swapping lifestyle may actually work for some people, that's a decision each couple makes for themselves. But I seriously doubt that my own twisted, selfish, inadequacy-fueled version of it is anything to go by.

 

My husband had very similar fantasies and he knows now it was directly related to how he felt as a man because of PIED. His fantasy was to see me "get off" and be pleased which was something he could not do at that time. Nowthat fantasy is a distant disturbing memory for him.

 

I ended up in a similar position. My wife was willing to be photographed. She felt she was doing it for me and always asked me to delete the pics. Around the same time I discovered boards where people were posting their wives' pics. This was such a new thrill for me. And I secretly started sharing my wife's pics as well. Other guys would really talk me up since my wife is a stunner! Somehow it was like I had my own porn star. I would post a pic and constantly wait for comments from other guys and fap to it. The thrill kind of started evaporating when I found that the pics had made it to all corners of the internet, even some paid sites. I tried to delete the pics but it was like I had opened pandora's box! I stopped posting but I was still hooked to these boards and would constantly surf them for new pics posted by some other guys. I was living in this virtual world where guys shared their real wives' pics.

PS: you can understand how much of a kick this was for me by the fact that I am feeling aroused merely recollecting my activities of the past.

 

I too have shared this fantasy. In my case, it was triggered several years ago. My wife was away on a conference. when she returned she confessed that there had been a party, she got drunk and flirted with a guy. That fueled some major fantasies on my part and when my erections were unreliable, thinking of that would get me hard and push me towards the climax finish line.

 

I'd comment, and then I realised that the OP hadn't been online since November 2014...

 

So?

 

OP might've had this on his mind in November 2014, but plenty of folks have it one their minds now too.

Good posts are timeless and just as valid today as a year ago or even ten.

 

I got to say, I agree!
It's just that I'm used to forums where you get five people complaining after you bump a one month old, still relevant thread

 

Haha, I understand mate. The Internet moves quickly and a month is a long time to some forums.

Stay the course

 

@FapensteinsMonster. Hello I read your story and maybe my thread can help you - look it up under "Addiction" "The truth about Porn and Masturbating to Porn"

 

I had similar fantasies and spent countless hours on chat rooms because of it. I also mentioned the idea to my wife every now and then but she was never really interested in that. Now I think I was lucky

After about 6 months of nofap I noticed the last remnants of these fantasies being replaced with the idea of having a threesome (us and another woman)

 

since you said your wife has no interest in making the fantasy a reality, maybe trying role-playing with her. do cheating roleplays where you and her dress up. you can be a,different guy and she still acts has your wife but she's cheating on you with this character. or you can ask her when you two are out in public of what guys she think are cute and stuff like that maybe u can get off to a lesser degree than what u have been doing. the number one thing is though to communicate with your wife